scratch that

ok, here i go, changing my mind again. i guess taylor ain't so bad after all. ahaha. it's the people that always make me change my mind. cuz they're so awesome! it was fun getting back from break and reuniting with everyone again :) and the prospect of having only 2wks left till i leave for home just makes me that much happier!!!

ystdy we had Wok Night in the DC!! korean food for dinner!! the food was only ok..can't really do much to spice up DC food.. but preparing for it was fun :) i fried eggs. haha. even though i was really turned off by the awful smell. a good amount of angmohs turned up to try the food, which was cool. camped out at the lib the past few days. ughhhh. don't like it there! but too distracted by the world of opportunities in my room with my com. spent mon night talking to random people here n there..got nothing done. heh. tonight i spent 2 productive hrs there though! with capri. we're gd study partners. even though the room was kinda making creepy noises. ew.

yay excited for the weekend! classes are almost over! lots of classes cancelled this wk. yay. i just have to get 3 presentations, a paper and a final exam over with, and i'm done!!! aaaahhh.

blackbird

that lion was huge scary. at least it was sleeping

such a cute statue! in the children's zoo :)

lovely lights + horses n carriages. aww!

lincoln park! where linkin park (the awesomest band ever) got their name from! :)


just got back from chicago - 5hours of driving in the slushie rainy snow..gross. spent most of it watching one tree hill on my laptop. haha. so NOT ready for sch to start again tmr!!! nooooooo. i'm glad to be back in my home sweet home away from home. missed my bed. haha. did i mention how thankful i am for my roomie? she doesn't snore! i've had sleepless nights the past 5 nights..waking up every now n then to THREE snorers. yup. not one, not two. three. it was pretty bad. so i fell sick ystdy. high fever n headache..the works. awful. sick in a foreign place!! in some stranger's home! not fun. so i slept most of the day away. they took care of me pretty well. they're such nice pple :)

anw one of the reasons i fell sick was prob too much shopping. too deprived. and too hiong.haha. went shopping on black friday..of all days. haha. it was CRAZY after-thanksgiving sales. everywhere! swarms of people. i guess americans can be kiasu too. superrr cheap stuff. LOVE IT! shopped from 10am till 7pm. with one short break to make our stomachs stop growling. haha. walked arnd downtown at night with our huge bags of purchases. love the pretty lights n christmas deco :)

3 more weeks till home!!! time flies. these 3 wks are gonna be ultra crazy. so much to get done before the semester ends.

thought abt transferring to another uni..somewhere not in the middle of freaking nowhere..but..as usual i'm all talk and no action. too lazy to do all that admin stuff. heh. ok i just have to PERSEVERE on! granted, wasting my life away here doing nothing, but... oh well. the future looks brighter! two more yrs in no man's land! and then i'll be free! grad school in the city! getting away from the midwest. yay.
so..i wonder if i'm cursed or something. i've never liked any school i went to. most of them i disliked with great passion. KCpri sch with its nightmarish teachers, cedar was pretty fun, NJ with its discrimination n prison-like treatment of arts students, now taylor with...absolutely nothing around. huh. most of these schs i never really cared about. just randomly picked them. heh. have to be more careful when i pick grad sch! seriously. gonna check out every single detail of it so i wont have to suffer anymore.

stars and boulevards

so..it's official. chicago is my second fav city in the US after new york!! (not like i've been to all the cities to judge, but whatever).
i'm just so in love with the city. everything about it is so beautiful!!! especially now..in the fall..when the trees are turning yellow and red.. makes me happy. :)

arrived in chicago on tues after 4+hours driving in a car with cartoon n two other strangers. but it was fun. and the long drive went by pretty fast. had thai food for dinner. yummy! am staying with cartoon and her friends who are thai. so it's like constant 'huh' for me since they converse in thai alot. haha. but it's ok. the 2 daughters are really nice n friendly. went out to downtown chicago on wed for lunch at giordano's! the famous pizza place. my 2nd time there :) then went shopping and watched 'enchanted'!!! it's pretty much the funniest movie i've watched in a while. love it. must buy the dvd. haha. had fun. even though it was a depressing day weather-wise. rained the WHOLE day. gross.

today was thanksgiving!! woke up late in the afternoon. lazed around. walked to the zoo in the freakin' cold. walked around the zoo in the cold. since it was an open zoo. free admission too. got scared by the huge bears n all those tigers n lions mere centimeters away from us, separated by only a thin layer of wires. scary. went to chinatown for dinner! all these cheena-looking people. feels like home!! ahaha. had cold bubble tea in the freezing cold. my fingers n nose were numb. took pictures..pple thought we were mad. asians acting all tourist-y in chinatown. hahaha.

can't wait for tmr! after thanksgiving sale! gonna wake up super early and CHIONG! :) have been holding back..didn't buy anything yet ok. saving my money for tmr and sat. :)

random videos on youtube.
stupid josh posted this vid of us in steak n' shake!!! so embarrassing. u can share in my embarrassment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6snSVg6mg3M

just watched this vid of a video game made by some genius (prob computer science) asian guy who has nothing better to do. pretty boliao but funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwLrgxtALWs

:)

thanksgiving break

break starts today! YAY. kinda excited but not really. not like everyone else is. mostly cuz they're going home to see their family and friends and i'm just goin to stay with a friend :( sometimes i get jealous of pple who can just drive home anytime on any weekend. oh well. it was my choice to come so far away anyway. at least i'm getting outta here!!! in 2 hrs! goin to chicago! till sun :)
finally. miss the city so much!! u really never appreciate what u have till u lose it. haha. but not looking forward to the 4hr drive. pray for journey mercy!

so..on the list of stupid questions americans ask..'so how do u celebrate thanksgiving at home?'
uhhh. we don't?
cuz thanksgiving is an american hol???
gosh.
but it's fun.
we had a brother/sister wing thanksgiving dinner on sun. yummy food. cornbread, sweet potatoes n marshmallows, stuffing, cake.. :) can't believe we only have 2 wks of sch left after thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!

tired of the weather

this week's been another crazy insane one. running around from place to place. some classes were cancelled though. so that was good. had to write this article for The Echo about plans for our new science building. made one phone call after another, one email after another, finally getting info to write the article after chasing down like more than 10 people. gosh. stress me out all these deadlines. the novelty of being a newspaper writer is wearing off pretty quick. and i'm not even the one thinking of stories! my editor just gives me ideas n i go find the info.

which reminds me, we watched this movie 'shattered glass' for class, it's abt this guy who writes for the top magazine and he fabricates like most of his stories. of course he got fired n all. it's a true story. he seemed kinda psycho in the movie and in the real interview. can't understand how someone can fake all these sources and facts and events and not feel the prick of his conscience. gosh.

went for the spring break meeting. can't decide where i wanna go - if i wanna go at all. cuz last year the trip to jamaica was gd, but really tiring n had no rest at all though it was break. but this yr they're going to russia! jordan! dominican republic! or somewhere closer, miami! i don't know. i'll pray abt it. deadline to apply coming soon though.

went to thai smile on tues! yay for free spicy thai food! someone treated us :) so TCA's been running into several probs lately. some members not so happy about the band they're in, not turning up to practices, etc. grrr. had to settle those. feel so bad kicking pple out. so i'm like, everyone gets a second, and third, and tenth chance! heh. and omg. someone thinks i'm dating my co-director. that's what i don't like about taylor. gosh! u can't spend time with a guy without everyone else thinking you're dating. seriously. people are obsessed with dating here.

so i'm supposed to read verses in chinese for our christmas program, cuz the chorale is singing in chi, russian, french, etc. so i went to their rehearsal on wed..and the chorale director was funny. she's in-your-face kinda friendly. and i was like, whoaa. backing off. haha. so i read my verse in chi to them. and read some words wrong but didn't care cuz none of them understand chi anyway. and afterwards someone told me that while i was reading, the chorale director's face was like, enlightened. haha. then she got them to sing their chi song for me. and i didn't understand what they were singing. except for 'peng you' and 'ye su'. it was funny :)

my generation night was thurs! it was pretty good! better than last year. we have lots of talent here! i love the song boston by augustana!! love it. now i love playing the piano. it's so...beautiful :) think i'm gonna start practicing again. after all these yrs. haha. fri night we had a guys' night out. the girls planned the event for the guys. it was alright.. hung out in claire's rm n the souphouse till like 2am..it was fun. i love my friends!! and our little freshmen guys. so cute. haha. then talked to mum n dad till 3! today slept in till 1pm :) yay.

keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face

so i listened to ps khong's sermon on direction for your life last night. when i first heard his voice, i almost teared. realized i miss sitting in the front rows at church with my spiritual family and listening to pastor preach. so thanks suang, candy and mum n dad for prompting me to listen to this sermon. it spoke to me SO very much. felt like every single word he said pierced deep into my heart, like God crafted this sermon for pastor to deliver specially to me.

it's so true that i'm so lost and confused. all this planning for the future. plus wondering about whether i should stay on in the States or go back after graduation makes things more confusing. and also the fact that i have to choose next year on by my bdae cuz my s'pore passport expires then. feels like i'm standing at this huge crossroads in my life, and whatever move i make next will impact my future and my life. and i just was stressing out over it SO much. couldn't handle the pressure. but God is so wonderfully faithful. He brought me friends here at taylor who shared the same frustrations and struggles, and support from back home. and i just feel so encouraged knowing i'm not the only one struggling with this. and so very encouraged by what pastor khong said about seeking God for His will.

i've thought it through. maybe music isn't for me after all. and that's ok with me. as long as it's in God's will..i'm trying to prepare myself to give up my passion if it's indeed what He wants for me. maybe i'm not meant to pursue it now, but sometime in the future. u never know. and i realized He may have been telling me His will all this while but i've been blocking it out because i really really want to hold on to my own desires and i refuse to let them go. cuz in my heart i've already decided i love music and i wanna do it in the future so i try to rationalize and tell God my plan.

so i'm gonna continue praying about it, seeking Him, maybe toss a coin :) and whatever the outcome is, i want to follow His plan and not hold on to my selfish ambitions because He definitely knows what's best for me better than i know. no more worrying or running away!

wiped out

this week was crazy insane. World Opportunities Week..so lots of speakers and missionary organizations came to stop by and give info..had to register for classes for the spring semester, which was a HUGE headache. glad it's over and done with. stressed over it for the longest time. had to plan all my 4 year of college - like what classes i was gonna take and when. i hate planning for the future. i feel so confused about what God wants for me. it's like i wanna do the music study abroad WITH ALL MY HEART. but it doesn't give me any credit for my major and will probably cause me to graduate late. then there's the other option of the journalism study abroad which is practical, good for my future career (if i wanna write), blah blah. i hate choosing. so anyway, next semester looks pretty awesome. classes starting at 12pm everyday!!! except thur when they start at 2!!! i love sleeping in :)

so anyway..went for the greece and italy meeting. met people whom i'm gonna spend 3 weeks in greece n italy with in january. superbly excitedddd!!! it's gonna be so awesome. rushed tons of assignments n stuff. then sped off to a conference..the National Christian Multicultural Student Leadership Conference at Anderson Uni, which i had to go to, to keep my scholarship. it was pretty good. learnt alot about the issue of race n culture in america. made new friends! with pple in taylor and pple from other schs :) so that was gd. met a girl named benita!!! from nepal!!! sooo cool. she's the first other benita i've ever met. and met this guy from...SINGAPORE!!! which made me unusually happy. i dunno. guess its cuz i haven't seen another singaporean for the longest time. we bonded and hugged at first sight. it's weird, but just being from the same country bonds two strangers immediately. i felt like we were old friends. haha. so the conf was good. they had an open mic night and they put on a musical about Paul's lifestory...all i can say is whoa. black pple have AWESOME voices. i wish i could sing like that!!

so been sleeping at 2am everyday n waking up at 7am..sooo tiring. i need my sleep!!! last night went to visit luke n levi, and mum tracked me down n called their room. it was pretty hilarious. today woke up early AGAIN..went to church..which was REALLY GOOD! the worship was awesome. finally feel like i'm connecting. the sermon spoke volumes to me. cuz i've been struggling with the issue of God's will for my life. how do i know if it's His will or my selfish ambition??? i don't know. i'm just gonna surrender everything to Him and let Him deal with it cuz He knows best :) went shopping after church. got clothes on sale!! happiness. saved $$.

had small group with 2 other girls on my wing. we really shared our current struggles openly. turns out we're all strugglin with God's will for our future. isn't that funny? God works in funny ways. so it was really encouraging to just see that other pple are going thru the same thing i am..that i'm not alone :)
so..i just devoted like 5 hours of my life to TCA (taylor christian artists) cuz we had a fall worship night. so had to plan n organize it and make sure everything ran fine. it was fun! the turnout was really good! we packed the place n made it nice n cosy :) and our bands were really good. so proud of them. it was a really good time of worship.
yup! now.. gotta START homework. at almost 1am on a sunday night..or rather monday morning. heh. good luck to me.

good and relaxed

that's how i'm feeling :) i love lazy saturdays with nothing whatsoever to do. once in a while. not all the time. haha. tday was good! woke up late, watched a movie, did laundry, doing hw now. have an interesting assignment...writing a letter to my future spouse on God's purpose for marriage and how i'm preparing myself. still pretty clueless. but got lots of help from my parents, the experts on marriage.

(excerpt from my homework) - My parents' relationship has had a significant impact on my life; the way their love for each other has stood firm all these years, the way they found everything they needed in each other, the way they committed themselves fully to each other and the way they delight in each other has been such an inspiration to me. They have made the world a better place simply by displaying tremendous faith in the strength of the union of two souls in Christ. It is my greatest wish that our relationship with take after theirs, that we will connect on the deepest level, that we will stand by each other till death do us part.

AWWW! :) after seeing my parents' relationship, i think my standards for marriage are high through the sky. haha.

anw in small grp on thurs, i was leading, so i asked random questions..like what do u wanna do before u die? and one girl was like, have sex. and the guys agreed! sort of. and i was like, uhhh..ok. for me, i want to travel the world. hahaha. awkward.
and if God were to appear before us right now, what would be the ONE question you'd ask Him? i think i'd ask Him exactly what His plan for my future is. i'm just dying to know. i really am. don't like all this confusion.

ystdy went to see Taylor's new musical/play. Opening night! and we got awesome seats! free tickets too. cuz i helped paint the set. which, by the way, looked pretty awful. some parts looked like they were about to fall over and squash the actors. i feared for their lives. haha. it was a real last min job, but oh well, at least they finished. sort of. the singing was reallyyyy GOOD. the dancing....not so much. but the costumes n all were awesome. it was funny, too. especially the part where two angmoh guys try to act chinese. they were speaking chinese, supposedly. of course, i couldn't understand A WORD they said. it was like they made up a whole new language. so that was hilarious.

got to talk to mummy and daddy last night. YAY :)
ok back to hw.

halloween pix!

me and katrinaaaaa! my fav little guatemalan :)

upi the jogger and me!

me and sarah the gangstaaaa

sitting on pumpkins! they're so cute

rugby playa + schgirl + pixie the fairy + me! the asian schoolgirl. hahaha.

elise,sungah and me

capri the gangsta n me!

zorro n me :)

ben shaved his beard!!! yayyy!!!!

cartoon,dan,granny reb,construction worker josh n me

it's november!!!

so...it's already november and the weather is still so beautiful. i thank God everyday it hasn't gotten cold yet. i mean, it's windy n chilly, but not crazy freezing cold like this time last year. so..that's something to be grateful about! :)

had auditions for my generation night..this band performance thingy..didn't get in! but it's ok. i still think we did pretty good. plus we had tons of competition. 40 bands competing for 10 spots. heh. why can't pple be this enthu about worship? seriously.
was talkin to a bunch of pple the other day, and feels like there isn't really any opportunity for communal worship here at taylor. even at chapel it's structured and rigid and only like 10 mins. once u start gettin into it, it stops. that's kinda sad. so they suggested maybe TCA shld do some worship night thingy once a month. we thought about it. but haven't really put it to action. haha.

today was halloween!!!! my first time celebrating it!! cuz last year no one was enthu about it. this year everyone's all hyped up! my wing dressed up. so i did too!!! soooo fun :) me and sungah were twin asian schoolgirls. hahahaha. i was the more gothic one. it was awesomely fun. went to visit the other dorms..their halloween decorations were really cool!! plus there was a choc fountain and free candy everywhere!!! cute kids came to our wing for candy. they were dressed up in the most adorable costumes!! like one of them was a bee, one was a crocodile... awwwwww!! i know halloween's supposed to be evil or something, but dressing up for the fun of it and getting free candy and spending quality time with friends makes it fun :) went to amy's house where there was a partayyyyy!! strobe lights and techno music and all. it was pretty much awesomeeeee.