Learn Chinese in 5 mins

I found this hilarious picture of 'chinese' sayings on a friend's facebook, and I wanted to have it somewhere so I could look back on it one day, so here it is.

Must be read out loud in a Chinese accent. For maximum impact, laughter should be held back until reading is over.

Laugh. Out. Loud. (Ignore the occasional swear words).

Visit to Warwick

Last Saturday the girls on my team + two others drove to Warwick to visit friends there, and it was so nice to get away from the base. The town is such a quaint little historic place, I love it!

We went canoeing/kayaking first, which was our main excuse to visit the team there - for their canoeing 'ministry,' which seemed more like having fun canoeing and talking to random people there. Lucky!

It was a little bit scary at first, pushing the canoe into the lake and then jumping into it and hoping to God I didn't fall into the icy cold water. But after a while I got used to the waves hitting the canoe and I even stood up and paddled with my partner.

Apart from going past the 'danger' sign and almost going down the waterfall, I'd say it was a good time. The lake was so peaceful and beautiful, there were swans and ducks swimming everywhere, and we rowed to the Warwick castle, which was magnificent. At the end of the two hours, I was immensely grateful I chose the canoe and not the kayak, because everyone who kayaked got soaked, thanks to the (non-waterproof) waterproof stuff. It was a little bit sad we have no pictures of the lake, because we were all terrified of losing our cameras to the water.

After that we went to have, what else, fish and chips - britain's national food.

And then we saw the church where C.S. Lewis got married in. I think. I know someone famous got married here, I'm not sure who.

Then we went to a local carnival and sat on one of those spinning rides that lift you high into the air and spin you around in all directions. Bad idea. My lunch nearly came back up.

But other than that, the carnival was cool. Lots of bright lights and techno music.

Then it started drizzling but we still made our way to the park, which was beautiful with all the leaves of the trees changing colors. I love fall. Everything's just so crisp and pretty and colorful.

Can you spot the different camera person?

We saw rabbits and squirrels running around all carefree and joyful, and then we spotted a rabbit hole! Coolness. I've never seen one. So I took a picture of it and one guy insisted on having his hand in my photo. It was so funny - we were all crowded around the hole, eagerly taking pictures of it, and someone commented, 'it's just a hole, there aren't even any rabbits here, why are you taking pictures??' And then I realized he was right. But still. I like to think there were little rabbits inside sipping tea (because they're British rabbits) and eating biscuits to keep warm from the cold.

After that we spent the rest of the day talking, playing games, singing karaoke, and laughing. All this while sipping hot tea and munching on ginger biscuits (because we're in Britain).

We heard horror stories about what goes on behind the doors in the guys' room. Apparently one guy shaves his beard every day in front of the mirror and doesn't realize the hairs actually drop to the floor, so there's a pile of beard hair on the carpet right in front of the mirror. Gross. But hilarious. Because this guy is 20 but he acts like a little kid (in a really adorable, endearing way) and he's always smiling and laughing. It's so cute - he's like a little boy.
This same guy didn't know he had to actually scrub the toilets when on cleaning duty, and he's been here almost 2 months! He'd been simply flushing the toilets as a form of cleaning. So. Funny. How does flushing a toilet count as cleaning? I have no idea.

Funny things and funny guys

There are these two guys here that are hilarious. The only thing is that they both don't speak English fluently because it's their second language. If not, they would probably crack us up all the time.

So this one guy, who is from France, saw me eating my thai tom yum ramen noodles today for dinner, and he decided to eat noodles too. He took a packet of one of those western tasteless chicken flavored ramen, and my friend was like, don't eat that, it's tasteless. (Before he came, my friend and I were laughing about how tasteless and bland western ramen was).
So he was like (with a straight face), oh I've had 5 already. And then he proceeded to make the ramen and then cut the noodles up with a knife, a fork and a spoon when it was done. He just looked so earnest and focused trying to do it that we laughed nonstop at him.

And then we asked him if he liked chinese food, and he was like, oh no. So we asked what his favorite type of food was. I said, French? He shook his head. Mexican? He shook his head. So what kind of food do you like? And he said, chicken.

This other guy, who is from Spain, came up to me and asked if I wanted to join the guys' poker game. I was like, no, I don't like poker. Why are you guys playing poker?
And he goes, We watched an action fighting movie just now, so now we are playing poker, because we are MAN! And later... we go punch some walls.

SO FUNNY my friend and I nearly died laughing at them. Plus these two incidents happened one after another and we were in a really giggly mood. It's so entertaining talking to the guys because they're so funny and they say the funniest things in their halting English (not in a bad way) and I just keep laughing at everything they say and do.

Talk to strangers!

This is what Jedi and I do when we're bored.

We talk to strangers about the most random things. And we actually found someone bored enough to reciprocate the entertainment. We laughed till our sides hurt when the person replied.

That was the only stranger who didn't disconnect on us immediately. What a good sport.

Absurdly cool cakes

I love this design. The stripes, the color, the pearl-like beads... Pretty funky wedding cake.

This kind of reminds me of Cinderella and her pumpkin carriage.

Love Disney. Love Disney princesses. Love this cake. Why didn't I get it for my 5th birthday??

This Guitar Hero cake looks ridiculously lifelike. I almost want to pick it up and play.

Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. Some kid must've been over the moon on his/her birthday. Although... I didn't think Oscar was a popular character. He was always too grouchy for my liking.

This Nikon camera cake is my favorite. I wonder how they got the outside to look so grey. And the inside looks like a red velvet cake. Yum.

Appropriate for computer geeks everywhere.

Grandma's birthday, anyone?

This cake looks amazingly delicate. It must have taken hours to construct every fine detail of the bridge.

I wonder who this cake was for. An optician, perhaps? And is that... Greek? Hebrew? Have no idea.

A map of India. Hmmm. Somehow it doesn't look very appetizing.

Giant Nintendo Wii remote for Wii fanatics everywhere. My brothers would rejoice.

Giant chunk of chocolate? Heck, yes. This really doesn't look like a cake at all. I wonder if they just made a chocolate cake and wrapped it in Cadbury paper.

Mac lovers unite!

Louis Vuitton has not only conquered the fashion world, the brand has also seemingly expanded to the world of cakes. This 'bag' looks amazingly like a real one. It'd be funny if someone attempted to pick it up.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob squarepants! I imagine this cake would be a hit with kids everywhere.

The Eiffel Tower. Wow. Wonder what flavor it is.

If this cake had liquor in it, it'd be perfect.

Cake with a sense of humor. I like.

For some reason, I was just surfing through websites of unique-looking cakes, and I chanced upon these few. They made me want to be a baker so I could make awesome creations like these. It's like art, but edible!

People watching escapades

Human nature is so fascinating. I love observing strangers and watching them interact with others. Sometimes when I’m bored at Sarpino’s I look at the people in the food court and make up life stories for them, like where they came from, how their childhood was, what career they're in, what they're thinking about... the possibilities are endless.

Also, it’s funny and mildly entertaining to see how different customers behave differently when they stop by Sarpino’s.

• Some of them are on a mission – they know exactly what kind of pizza they want, whether they want to eat it there or take it away, and they sometimes even have the exact change to pay – so they take and go, no questions asked.

• Some of them – I call them the ‘flightys’ – are so fickle that they have to scrutinize every single pizza and its ingredients before picking one out. These people also usually choose the piece of pizza they want, which is normally the one that looks freshest/biggest (so they get more bang for their buck). They can be incredibly polite and friendly – some of them make jokes about their indecisiveness – or they can be taking all the time in the world to discuss their eating plans with whoever they are with, leaving me to stare at the pizzas, the lights, the cash register… anything to avoid eye contact with them for fear of, god forbid, scaring them away by pressuring them with my stare.
  
  I like to predict what these people will choose; it's interesting, watching them stare at the pizzas as if the pizzas themselves will call out to them to help them in their decision-making. You can practically see the wheels turning in their minds as they go from one pizza to the next, and back to the first one.

• Some of them (the more rude or annoying ones,) will walk past, stare for a second, ignore my ‘hi’ and glower in response to my friendly smile, and then walk away as if the pizza has offended them in another life.

• Some of them (the rare ones), are extremely skittish, and will jump nervously and scamper away the moment I open my mouth. It’s as if they think I will devour them if they dare to ask me a question about the pizzas.

• Some of them (also rather rare) are Muslims, and they will walk up to the store in a determined manner and ask me 1001 questions about our halal meat – where it’s from, what it’s made of, and demand to see certification so they can be assured it is truly halal, and not (gasp) pork.

Yeah... that's how I spend my time.

Funny inventions

I saw pictures of these Japanese inventions online, and I could not stop laughing for the life of me.

A toilet paper hat thingy?? I wonder if anyone really used that.

But this is my fave: The baby-outfit-floor-cleaner. The innocent look on that little baby's face is just priceless. It's like he's wondering why on earth his parents want him to crawl all over the floor. Haha.

Random movie quotes

Americans love to quote movies. Sometimes I wish I were as good as them at memorizing all these classic movie lines. It's like they can watch a movie a few times and start quoting it every chance they get. Me, I don't even remember a line from any of my favorite movies. Well, I guess I know Forrest Gump's "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get," and Star Wars' "May the force be with you," but everyone who's ever watched a movie knows that.

So anyway, even though I don't memorize movie quotes word for word, there are several movie quotes that kind of stuck out to me over the years...

The Devil Wears Prada


LOVE this film. I'd say it was Anne Hathaway's breakthrough from being typecast as 'the girl from The Princess Diaries.' Although it intimidates me a little, thinking about how cutthroat the magazine industry is.
So there's this scene where Miranda's assistant talks about her obsession with her body image, and she goes, "I'm on this new diet, it's very effective. I don't eat anything, and when I feel like I'm about to faint, I eat a cube of cheese... I'm one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight."
Painfully true reflection of society today.

When Harry Met Sally



Classic friends-turned-to-lovers story. I liked the part when Harry turned up at the party in the end and told Sally, after years of friendship and on-off relationships, "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Hitch



One of the better romantic comedies - original and not as cheesy as other films. And you can tell that I'm somewhat of a romantic, because I liked when Hitch said, "So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... But what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them."

Mean Girls



I don't know what it is about this movie, but it's owned by practically every girl on campus at Taylor. I guess it's a pretty true and ironic portrayal of girls and high school. So there's this part where Cady gets a revelation after doing a complete 180 and realizing she was becoming 'plastic,' and she says, "Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter."
Totally agree. Whoever said sticks and stones will break your bones, but words won't hurt, was completely lying.

500 Days of Summer



I just watched this movie again, and I love everything about it. The cinematography, the music, the actors and the acting, the plot, and the wicked dialogue. Although I kind of disagreed with what the narrator said at the end, "Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memory made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life."
I think everything we do has an impact - on our lives and on others'. Even the smallest, most insignificant things. So although sometimes we go through days that feel mundane and monotonous, I think they still have some sort of impact, because I believe everything happens for a reason, and it's that sort of mindset that helps you through the ups and downs of life. I mean, if you didn't believe things had an ultimate purpose or goal, then really what's the point of life at all?

Never Been Kissed



Okay I realized all my movies on this list are somewhat romantic comedies, but so what. They have good value too, especially when geeky Josie Geller tells her co-workers about how she's waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep her off her feet, and she says, "That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time."
I used to think she was such an idealist and a dreamer, but now I think the world could use more people like that.

I also liked what she said at prom, when she declared to the high school kids that "There is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school, and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it."
So true. School totally doesn't matter. Who you were in high school or college doesn't matter, because you can totally reinvent yourself when you step out into 'the real world.'

Spiderman 3



Not the best Spiderman movie, but it had a crazy interesting quote. I think it was when Spidey was attacked by the black venom and went bad, and he said something like, "If you want forgiveness, get a religion."
Um, pretty sure I don't agree with that. Forgiveness is universal; we forgive each other, and God forgives us. It's not some rule within some religion. But then again, he said it when he was 'evil,' so I guess it makes sense that it would be controversial.

Zoolander



Ben Stiller cracks me up here. He's so incredibly stupid, it's actually funny. Like when he sees the model version of a center he's building, and he exclaims in genuine indignation, "What is this?? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building??"
His innocence/ignorance is hilarious.

Dumb and Dumber



Classic idiotic comedy, but oh so funny. Jim Carrey at his finest, channeling the stupidity of Lloyd. Like when he tries to hit on Mary.

Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
(pause)
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance??? YEAH!


And when Harry tries to read the map to tell Lloyd where to go, he says, "According to the map, we've only gone 4 inches."

Hahaha.
I don't know how scriptwriters think of such great funny stuff.

Thankful

Yesterday I read this blog about being thankful for the little things in life everyday, and I've decided to copy it and start a daily thanksgiving post. Because I think having a spirit of gratefulness is essential in life, and I don't want to end up a bitter and miserable old lady one day.

So today I'm thankful for the new experience of learning how to make pizzas. Last week I learned how to make dough, cut it, roll it, put it into trays. I also served customers and handled the cash register. Today I crafted the pizzas, each with different ingredients, and baked them in the oven. It was kind of exhilarating, but it might get old after a while. Oh well. For now, at least, I'm enjoying making pizzas, seeing my finished products displayed in the window, and smiling at people who buy them, while I bite back the urge to point and yell, 'I made that! Yes, me! It's good, yes???'

I'm also thankful that I have food to eat at every meal, and that I have a house to live in and warm water to shower in. Because these two cute little adolescent boys came up to Sarpino's today, and asked me if they could have a pizza for free. They stared up at me with huge, doleful, puppy dog eyes, and I almost shouted, "Yes, take it! Or you know what, you can have all of them for free, you poor little cute things!!"

But I didn't, because we're running a business, not a soup kitchen, and I told them to come back later, when we're closing and when the manager (my mom) was around. My heart sank to my toes when they bowed their heads forlornly and trudged away. I hoped they would return, but they didn't, and I wish I could've given them the pizza. But then mom had already been giving them free pizzas, and doing it on a regular basis might make them dependent on freebies... and we all know in life there is no such thing as a freebie. Everything costs you something. So I guess they have to learn to work for what they want, but still... it kind of reminded me of what I read one day about this woman who didn't want kids, because "what kind of horrid person would want to bring innocent children into this evil, corrupt world of ours?" And while I agreed with her to a certain extent (because I don't want 9 months of absolute physical torture), I think kids make the world a better place.

So I was initially going to do a thanksgiving for one thing per day, but hey, there shouldn't be a limit on thankfulness, right? God knows we can all be a little more appreciative toward others.

So I'm thankful for this experience of working in Australia. Granted, it's not the most happening place in the world, and some people probably look down on me, a college graduate, working at a pizza place, but you can't please everyone. Plus life is way more fun when you travel and take up adventures, instead of going straight to a 9-5 job, holed up in a tiny cubicle, typing your life away day by day.

Anyway, I got to meet this young couple from Italy, Giulia and Enrico, from Rome and Florence respectively. They're so cool, I loved hearing about their life experiences. They had like a year in between undergraduate school and graduate school, and so they decided to travel to Australia and work while seeing the sights. Why they came to Perth, I have no idea. Well, actually I do - it's because Enrico had relatives here. But still. Of all places. (Giulia told me once they went to a pub on a SATURDAY night and it closed at MIDNIGHT!! Oh the horror!!)

So anyway, they worked at Sarpino's and explored Perth for the past few months, and they're going to travel for 2 weeks before they head back to Italy. And Giulia's going to study her Masters in Engineering in Sweden and Denmark. HOW COOL IS THAT. And they speak Italian, which makes them even cooler. haha. And Enrico took up English when he first came here, and his English speaking ability is pretty good. I'm always amazed at people who go to other countries and start picking up their native language, because I stink at languages, well except English of course. Enrico was the one who taught me how to make dough, and he was funny. He said it was a boring job and I should bring an iPod to work. He also said something along the lines of, 'I never want to see/smell another pizza ever again in my life,' which is ironic because he lives in Italy, land of pizzas.

And so I was talking to Giulia for a while, when mom came back (she takes random breaks to go shopping for 'essential stuff'), lugging a shopping cart filled to the brim with pillows and what not. Good to know that while I have been working she went shopping. And then Giulia told me she always does that.

Once she came back hauling chairs to bring back to Singapore, and when Giulia was like, 'Does Singapore not sell chairs?' Mom huffed and puffed and replied, 'Not this kind!!'
Haha. Mom cracks me up sometimes.

Hilarious exams

Okay... I was surfing the web two nights ago, bored out of my mind but not wanting to go to bed, because we just had a korean ramen party, and the spicy soup was keeping me annoyingly awake.
So I came across this website called Funny Exams, about answers that students filled out to actual exams. And I COULD NOT stop laughing. Of course, I had to stifle my laugh and giggle silently because my roommate was soundly asleep and it was 2am. But it was so funny that I just HAD to share it.

Here's some of the better/not-so-perverted ones:


Who draws an elephant on their test???


This is for jedi - the opposite of 'pro' is 'noob' (or 'nook') - your favorite word. haha.


I thought this was pure genius. Two polar bears and four seals equals six animals!!! haha.


Plants don't interact with each other. Duh. They're not humans. haha.


This is hilarious!! I kind of wish I was taking a Math class now, then I could do this too. haha.


And this is just random.


I love the last part of the answer. So true of all the useless science and math facts I've been forced to learn.


"If Batman says it, it must be true!"


HAHAHA.


So true of chemistry!! Some stuff, mixed with other stuff, equals more stuff! Who really cares what that stuff is??


HAHAHA.


Wow this one actually kind of worked. Maybe I should try that sometime.


I LOVE THIS. totally does look like sushi. oh I want some tuna sushi now.


Yup. Story of my life.


Literally.


HAHAHA.

Seriously, I don't know how people come up with this nonsense. It's so stupid and yet so incredibly funny! I wish I was creative like that :)