I'm a city girl

After my attempts at living in the countryside... in the cornfields of Indiana and the quiet streets of Perth... I have decided that, without a doubt, the country is not for me. Yes, it's nice to sit and relax for a bit, but I just get too fidgety and my inner city girl squirms around in her seat, wanting to be let loose someplace where there are tons of people at all hours, bright lights, things to do, and adventures to experience.

It's only been a week and already I miss going to the mall anytime I want, meeting up with friends for a meal or a movie, even walking around the city aimlessly. I just want something to do, anything, other than watch TV from 7pm-midnight for lack of anything better to do. And I keep thinking about how much fun I was having, this time last year, in the city that never sleeps, good old New York City. Ohhhh good times. But it's okay.

Life will get more exciting soon. It just has to. Hopefully I will hear back from the schools in Korea soon so I can go teach English in Seoul!! And be reunited with friends!! And get to travel and be with cute little kids everyday!!


Look how ridiculously ADORABLE these little kiddos are!! I just want to hug them and squeeze their cheeks and bottle their cuteness up!!

I still have no idea how I'm going to teach a class full of hyped up kids, but... I'm sure I can learn as things progress... right? If it's meant to be, it will happen.

So today I'm grateful for this restful period of my life, where I get to chillax (chill out and relax) and think about what meaningful things I wish to do with my life.

Thankful

Yesterday I read this blog about being thankful for the little things in life everyday, and I've decided to copy it and start a daily thanksgiving post. Because I think having a spirit of gratefulness is essential in life, and I don't want to end up a bitter and miserable old lady one day.

So today I'm thankful for the new experience of learning how to make pizzas. Last week I learned how to make dough, cut it, roll it, put it into trays. I also served customers and handled the cash register. Today I crafted the pizzas, each with different ingredients, and baked them in the oven. It was kind of exhilarating, but it might get old after a while. Oh well. For now, at least, I'm enjoying making pizzas, seeing my finished products displayed in the window, and smiling at people who buy them, while I bite back the urge to point and yell, 'I made that! Yes, me! It's good, yes???'

I'm also thankful that I have food to eat at every meal, and that I have a house to live in and warm water to shower in. Because these two cute little adolescent boys came up to Sarpino's today, and asked me if they could have a pizza for free. They stared up at me with huge, doleful, puppy dog eyes, and I almost shouted, "Yes, take it! Or you know what, you can have all of them for free, you poor little cute things!!"

But I didn't, because we're running a business, not a soup kitchen, and I told them to come back later, when we're closing and when the manager (my mom) was around. My heart sank to my toes when they bowed their heads forlornly and trudged away. I hoped they would return, but they didn't, and I wish I could've given them the pizza. But then mom had already been giving them free pizzas, and doing it on a regular basis might make them dependent on freebies... and we all know in life there is no such thing as a freebie. Everything costs you something. So I guess they have to learn to work for what they want, but still... it kind of reminded me of what I read one day about this woman who didn't want kids, because "what kind of horrid person would want to bring innocent children into this evil, corrupt world of ours?" And while I agreed with her to a certain extent (because I don't want 9 months of absolute physical torture), I think kids make the world a better place.

So I was initially going to do a thanksgiving for one thing per day, but hey, there shouldn't be a limit on thankfulness, right? God knows we can all be a little more appreciative toward others.

So I'm thankful for this experience of working in Australia. Granted, it's not the most happening place in the world, and some people probably look down on me, a college graduate, working at a pizza place, but you can't please everyone. Plus life is way more fun when you travel and take up adventures, instead of going straight to a 9-5 job, holed up in a tiny cubicle, typing your life away day by day.

Anyway, I got to meet this young couple from Italy, Giulia and Enrico, from Rome and Florence respectively. They're so cool, I loved hearing about their life experiences. They had like a year in between undergraduate school and graduate school, and so they decided to travel to Australia and work while seeing the sights. Why they came to Perth, I have no idea. Well, actually I do - it's because Enrico had relatives here. But still. Of all places. (Giulia told me once they went to a pub on a SATURDAY night and it closed at MIDNIGHT!! Oh the horror!!)

So anyway, they worked at Sarpino's and explored Perth for the past few months, and they're going to travel for 2 weeks before they head back to Italy. And Giulia's going to study her Masters in Engineering in Sweden and Denmark. HOW COOL IS THAT. And they speak Italian, which makes them even cooler. haha. And Enrico took up English when he first came here, and his English speaking ability is pretty good. I'm always amazed at people who go to other countries and start picking up their native language, because I stink at languages, well except English of course. Enrico was the one who taught me how to make dough, and he was funny. He said it was a boring job and I should bring an iPod to work. He also said something along the lines of, 'I never want to see/smell another pizza ever again in my life,' which is ironic because he lives in Italy, land of pizzas.

And so I was talking to Giulia for a while, when mom came back (she takes random breaks to go shopping for 'essential stuff'), lugging a shopping cart filled to the brim with pillows and what not. Good to know that while I have been working she went shopping. And then Giulia told me she always does that.

Once she came back hauling chairs to bring back to Singapore, and when Giulia was like, 'Does Singapore not sell chairs?' Mom huffed and puffed and replied, 'Not this kind!!'
Haha. Mom cracks me up sometimes.

Life in Perth

Hello, familiar countryside. Otherwise better known as Perth, Australia.

I have to say I didn't know what to expect, coming to Perth. It was just something to do, to get away from the humidity of Singapore, an excuse to give to others when they ask me what I'm going to do with my life now that I'm a college graduate. But it's good that I didn't have any expectations, because this place would have crushed them. It's a little scary, the way Perth reminds me of Upland, Indiana, the place I recently escaped from and swore I would never return to (unless it was for the weekend to visit good friends).

My first thought when we were driving from the airport to the house was, "This place looks suspiciously like Indiana!" With its terrace houses, spread out properties, tons of abandoned land, even an animal or two wandering around in the grass along the road. It's just my luck - to go halfway around the world only to end up in Upland, Indiana, No. 2., only this time it's worse because I don't have friends here and I'm forced to work at a pizza place SIX days a week, 9am to 5pm, getting paid by my own parents, which is pointless cause it's like family money. And then everything here closes at 5pm SHARP, even the sun says goodnight and goes to sleep, and so I'm left with the entire evening and night to myself. The TV has a grand total of FOUR channels, I didn't bring any of my movie DVDs with me, all my favorite TV shows have ended their seasons in May, so yeah.

I have to find something productive to do with my time. Like frantically searching the web to find something that will get me away from here in the fall. Because this is only temporary. No way am I staying here until next year, much less for the rest of my life. I'm in my twenties, for crying out loud, I need to be somewhere exciting, where I can meet crazy new people and go on adventures and take risks. New York City, anyone?

For the 100th time, how I wish I had a friend who would travel the world with me (backpacking) and work in different countries to make money for our adventures. WHY DONT I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. Why are all my friends going straight from school to work? Doesn't anyone want to explore this great big world and experience things beyond their comfort zone???

Anyway, I'm not bitter or anything. I don't regret coming here. I love the cold weather, because it means no more sweating profusely every second of every day, like in Singapore. Unless I'm on the elliptical in the house, which I'm tremendously grateful for, because it means something else to do at night, plus it's good exercise in the comfort of home. Also, since I have bundles of time every night, I will be learning how to cook! Healthy lifestyle, here I come! And of course I'm happy to be spending time with my mom and brothers, whom I haven't seen since last year. In some ways they've changed, in many ways they haven't. My little brothers are all grown up now. Makes me feel a little old.

So... During my time here, however long I'm staying, I will accomplish my goals!

Goal #1: Eat healthy and workout everyday. (Unless it's sunday, then maybe I will take a break)

Goal #2: Make money from Sarpino's and maybe find another job so I can make money from other people... And make enough of it that I can move to New York City or somewhere by next summer.

Goal #3: Take a class or find a new hobby to occupy the ridiculous amounts of free time I have. Life is too short to sleep.

I am a college graduate

Ruwe, me, claire, and sungah. Friends since international orientation freshman year.


The Daudts and my parents. So grateful for all the things they've done for me; they've taken care of me these past four years.


Sungah, my parents, and me after graduation with our flowers.


I graduated with magna cum laude honors! (3.7 or more GPA)


Emily, me, katie, hannah, and sungah. Seniors from First West Olson :)

Wow. Feels so weird to be saying that. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet.

So... finals week was crazy. In between attempting to study for my 2 finals, packing, cleaning my room, donating 3/4 of the stuff I own, selling clothes to a thrift store and making $150, spending time with friends... time really flew by.
Finals turned out to be super easy after all, even though I hardly studied. So I have As in all my classes and I graduated with a 3.76/4.0 GPA! I think school in America is really easy. Especially compared to school in Singapore. I don't even know how people can get anything below a B here. It's ridiculous.

So on Tuesday we had a wing meeting, because people were getting their stuff stolen left and right. Cash, debit cards, phones, even computers. It was kind of scary. I guess this type of thing is normal as the school year comes to an end, because everyone's moving out and it's chaotic and anyone can just come into the dorm and steal whatever they want. But thank God my stuff was fine, even though I didn't lock my room door.

Went to the Senior Scoop after that to get free ice cream, listen to Habecker (president of the college) talk, and receive our caps and gowns for graduation. And of course we immediately went back to try them. haha. Those gowns are HUGE. But it's exciting. I've never worn a graduation gown and cap before!

And then we went to our last study break ever... at the Dining Commons. Ate way too much sugar and chocolate and chips, got on a sugar high. My hands were literally shaking. And I was so jittery. We had to find a way to let all that energy out... so we went to sungah's apartment and had a dance party. We videoed it cause it's our last dance party together... ever :(

Wednesday claire and I went to Plato's closet to sell our old clothes, books, accessories, shoes, everything. So glad I did cause I have WAY too much stuff to bring everything back, and it's insanely expensive to ship things overseas. 220USD for a mere 20 pounds! But I ended up shipping my guitar back cause it's too expensive to give away and I love it too much to leave it behind. But everything else, I gave away. Pillows, blankets, laundry baskets, drawers, storage containers, printer, hairdryer, stationery, everything. My friends now love me a whole lot more. haha.

I got super stressed while packing and so we ended up going to Indy as our last time together. It was pretty chill... we just made friends at the bar and met people who knew people from Taylor. I have to say I'm not going to miss all this sneaking around and secret drinking on campus. Although it's been pretty fun and thrilling to hide stuff and drink it in places like the Taylor lake, the forest, the environmental science building, the library, the geek room, the playground, and even the prayer chapel. haha. I think I'm kind of done with this whole partying thing though. I need to give my poor liver a vacation. I don't think I can ever be an alcoholic. Just the thought of drinking vodka makes me feel sick.

Thursday I met up with emily, who graduated in january and came back for graduation!! I missed her so much and it was so good to see her again :) We both realized we were thinking of teaching English in Korea in the fall!! So hopefully things work out and we can go there together!! People keep asking me what my plans are, I always say I have no idea. haha. I only know I'm going to Paris, Munich, and Berlin for 2 weeks with my parents, then back to Singapore for 2 weeks, then to Perth, Australia.... then who knows where I'll end up after that. We'll see :)

We also had our last ever noodle party... all these 'last' things... so nostalgic. But it was a good time just hanging out and spending time with each other eating asian food :) there was supposedly a huge party going on in one of the off-campus houses, but I have to say, I wasn't tempted at all to go. I'd rather spend the last day with my good friends than getting wasted with a bunch of strangers. I'll really miss some of these people... sam, ruben, mark, emily, sung ah, megan, claire...

I feel like I didn't get to say goodbye to several people, which sucked. But I guess maybe, hopefully, we'll get to meet up sometime in the future, when we're making enough money to go visit each other. It just sucks that everyone is splitting up and going their own way after graduation. I wish we had more time together.

Friday was really busy. We had our Media Communication majors senior brunch... the professors made delicious food and we shared our plans for after graduation... and we gave them a video of our 'thank yous'. it was pretty sweet.
Then I went back to my room and found my PARENTS WAITING FOR ME!!!! It was so good to see them again. life comes full circle. They came for my freshman orientation, and now they're here for my senior graduation. FOUR YEARS. it's ridiculous. So we cleaned up my room, donated a bunch more stuff, packed everything I ever owned into two tiny suitcases, closed my bank account, terminated my phone line, and checked out of the dorm. Goodbye Olson Hall, it's been a wonderful three years :)

Then we went to the DC for a final time, for a banquet. They actually had decent food there, which surprised me. Met a couple of my friends' parents, which was interesting. It's funny how kids are so much like their parents. Then we went to the chapel one final time for worship, a senior slideshow, senior testimonies, and one last address. Then I stayed over at sungah's apartment and we had a little ramen/nail painting party.

Saturday was THE DAY. The day we graduate. Felt so surreal. We woke up early, got ready, put our caps and gowns on, and headed to the KSAC fieldhouse for the ceremony. It was a mix of emotions, seeing all my friends in their caps and gowns, taking pictures, getting all excited and yet nostalgic at the same time... we processed into the fieldhouse and walked through the tunnel of professors. it was so cool to see all my professor and hear them say how proud they were of me. The ceremony itself was rather long... we had our senior class president speak, a testimony from a senior, an address by Dr. Habecker, our president, a song by Taylor Sounds, another address by our graduation speaker Gloria Gaither, this famous woman who wrote tons of Christian hymns, and then finally we walked across the stage, shook Dr. Habecker's hand, got our diploma/towel/bible, and it was over. It felt so good to walk across the stage and hear friends cheering for me. My 1 second of fame. haha. And then I saw my professors at the end, as well as my dad, who made me pose for a picture.

After the ceremony, we all headed outside, where it was total chaos. I found some friends and took pictures with them. My parents gave me a bouquet of roses and a little graduation teddy bear, which was cute. I didn't get to see some people because it was so crazy, but oh well. We went over to the MuKappa reception and said goodbye to more people... I almost cried a few times, but I was trying to hold it in because I didn't want to ruin the pictures. haha. Then we went over to sungah's apartment and said more goodbyes. I totally cried buckets when saying bye to sungah. We wept together. haha. I love that girl. I will miss her so much. Said bye to susan campbell and mark, who came over. also to megan, who cried a lot too. her dad kept saying she was having allergies. haha. finally left with my parents to their hotel in Muncie. Was so tired... it was just an overall tiring day of overwhelming emotions.

From City to Country

It was time. I stepped out of the Indiana airport, and a cool breeze swept past me as I took in my surroundings. Little did I know this was a foreshadowing of life in Indiana, where dreary wet days, bitterly frigid wind and knee-high frosty snow were the norm. Having grown up in a city that experienced year-round summers, I was in for the shock of my life when the first snow fell.

After hauling suitcases stocked with my entire wardrobe, shoe collection and lifetime supply of books, my family and I embarked on the drive to Upland, the tiny town I would call “home” for the next four years. As we sped past cars on the highway, I gazed out the window, fascinated by the small towns we passed by. I scoffed at their buildings and signs, ridiculing the humble establishments they had set up.

Since I did not make the effort to Google “life in Indiana,” the only connection I made to it was the movie character Indiana Jones. Yet, I was somehow convinced it would be similar to New York City. I entertained visions of myself living the glamorous life, sipping lattes at a classy cafe in the afternoon, and watching people stroll past, going about their day.

No doubt I was in for a rude awakening. Not only was I in foreign territory, I was also about to be immensely disappointed. As the Global Positioning System (GPS) informed us we were nearing our destination, my brows furrowed in confusion. Was not Upland supposed to be a huge metropolis, a bustling place filled with all kinds of interesting people? Why were there only farms and fields, with the occasional cow grazing next to horses? A sense of apprehension crept up on me.

The GPS must be wrong, I decided. There was no way I could live in the countryside for the next four years! But, the emotionless, computerized voice soon uttered the words I dreaded to hear: “You have reached your destination.” I gaped at my surroundings in astonishment and dismay. Most college students would be thrilled to step onto campus and plunge into their first day of orientation, but all I could think was, “There aren't any malls here!”

Where were the huge crowds? What was I supposed to do for fun? The town was like a deserted wasteland, and the only thing it seemed to possess in abundance was fields and fields of corn. My first impulse was to snatch the car keys from my dad, jump into the front seat and speed back to the airport, but then I remembered I did not know how to drive.

Simply put, my dreams were instantly crushed. Gone were the fantasies of living the glitzy, jet-setting city lifestyle. The lump in my throat kept growing as I realized this would be a challenge of monstrous proportions. It was a whole new world, one I was unfamiliar with, and quite honestly, reluctant to accept.

I longed for the hustle and bustle of the city, but I was here. I had to put an end to my complaining and welcome my new life. So I did, albeit with some hesitation. As time passed, I grew to embrace life in the countryside. Yes, Upland was as different from the city as you could get, but there was a unique and charming quality about it, something remarkable that set it apart from anything I could have imagined.

Slowly, I adapted. I battled the biting cold with my five layers of clothes, scarves and hats, I discovered the senselessness of trying to predict the ever-changing weather, I learned the benefits of making friends with people who had cars, I experienced getting lost in corn mazes, and I adapted to the smell of skunk in the car. Most of all, I appreciated the beauty of friendship, because when there was nothing to do, the alternative was spending quality time with some of the greatest people I have ever met.

On hindsight, I would have read up more on Upland before arriving. But if I had, I would have never made it to this little town and come face to face with a life changing experience. I have learned to embrace the beauty of nature, to simply sit and gaze in awe at the splendor of creation. There is a kind of peace and tranquility about the countryside, which gives me a sense of serenity I have never experienced before. City life is vastly different from country life, but both are just as amazing.

Now, when I glance out my window and see the pure blanket of snow gracefully spread out over the grass, a sense of wonder overwhelms me, and I am thankful to call Upland my home, at least for now.


-Just thought I would share a personal narrative piece I wrote for class that I'm including in my portfolio :)

Last MK spring retreat

This past week someone asked me, "Is it weird doing stuff and going to events for the last time now that you're graduating?"

I never really thought about that. I guess I've been too busy worrying about the future to appreciate living in the present. But yes, the reality of leaving my comfort zone in school and entering the real world is beginning to dawn on me. I went to my last Airband, my last Nostalgia Night, my last wing retreat, and most recently, my last international spring retreat. This sense of nostalgia is just creeping up on me without notice. It's weird to think I'll never be doing any of these things again. But, as with all things in life, I must move on.

The retreat was such a blessing from God. He knew I totally needed to go and hear what He had to say to me since it's been awhile. We had great fun laughing, playing games, cooking international food, worshiping, having our own Sunday service, and just hanging out and creating awesome memories. The seniors were a little nostalgic, and since only 7 of us female seniors went, we all roomed together in the cabin (the retreat was at Bear Lake Camp, this Christian summer camp about 2 hours away).


This is kind of what the interior of our cabins looked like. Very wooden and earthy and full of BUGS (but it's okay, because we spent most of our time in the main hall area)

This is kind of what the exterior of our cabins looked like. Surrounded by nature on all four sides and incredibly chilly since it was raining this weekend.

Oh it was so much fun - we played Apples to Apples, Things, random get-to-know-you games, table tennis, easter egg hunt, foosball... And I got to know some of the freshmen, which was cool, since I wasn't at international orientation in the fall. We made ethnic food for dinner - beef stir fry, korean bulgogi, chapati, and sour cream enchiladas. YUM.

But even though I enjoyed hanging out with these amazing people, I think the best part was definitely the sharing and hearing from God. We divided into small groups to talk about living in America, how it's different, how it affected our worldviews, how Taylor Christians are compared to Christians in other countries, etc.

We talked about how the Church in America is so divided, compared to elsewhere. Christians here are separated by denomination, beliefs, even trivial issues like church decor and structure. And if we can't even present a united front to the world as Christians, how can we expect nonbelievers to accept our faith? We also talked about Taylor being a safe, comfortable place to the extent where people took their faith for granted. We have all these activities and events to help us grow in our faith, and sometimes our act of worship for God becomes more of a responsibility than a conscious effort or a joy. And then we feel so contented in our little safe zone that we're afraid of stepping out into the secular world, so we continue on to Christian organizations and environments to work.

Something that always saddens me is how nonbelievers perceive Christians - the media loves to blow up instances of fallen Christian leadership that the public has come to see us as arrogant hypocrites. That's one of the top two reasons that prevents people from becoming Christians - the Christians themselves. And the other reason is the presence of evil and suffering in the world. But more on that later.

So I think these four years have been challenging in so many ways, emotionally and spiritually especially. But, they've also helped me grow and mature tremendously. I've learned so many things about myself, about the world, and about God. I used to be incredibly frustrated by all my Bible classes, because I didn't see the point of learning about all those trivial issues that divide us when we could just be a wholly united Church that simply believed in Jesus and His abundant love and grace. But my professor recently said something very profound, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

One way to show God our love is to love Him with our minds, and that means learning all we can about Him and understanding who He is.

And I guess I never really thought about it that way before. But I see what he means. Now that I've learned about all this history behind the Bible, I am better prepared to give a reason for the hope I have. I think I used to be somewhat of a blind follower - not that I didn't know who God was or anything, but I just wouldn't know what to say if someone asked me why I believed in God, other than 'because He's real and I experienced His presence and you just have to have faith to know what I'm talking about.' So now that we've been discussing different kinds of issues like the evidence for the Resurrection and the doctrine of the Trinity and the Incarnation, I think I've come to a better understanding about my faith. And it really has strengthened my belief in God, because there's all this tangible evidence to back it up. Not that faith isn't enough, but sometimes it's hard because it's just so abstract and intangible.

So anyway, something that one of the guys shared really resonated with me, especially since I've been fretting over the future lately. He talked about how God has already been ahead of us; He has paved the way for us, and He will guide us through our journey step by step because that is just how great His love is for us. Something along those lines. And I know these things, I've heard them hundreds of times before, but somehow just hearing him say it was very encouraging. It definitely struck a chord.

And then for our 'Sunday morning service,' we had a bit of a creative worship time. They set up stations around the hall where we could draw, paint, read a devotional book, ask for prayer, journal, or sing - all in worship of God. It was a very interesting time, I enjoyed it a lot.
A couple of verses from the books spoke to me tremendously.

Deut 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Isaiah 30:21
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

It just reminded me of how God is my only constant in life. People may change, circumstances may change, everything may change, but God will always be faithful. And even in my journey here at Taylor - no one can completely understand or empathize with my struggles, because I'm on such a different journey from others, but ultimately, God is always with me and He is all I need.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace