Living life on the edge

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot

Taking risks. It's so hard to do because there's always the possibility of failure, rejection or disappointment. But there's also the chance of success, happiness and fulfillment. You just have to decide if you want to sit comfortably in the ordinary and routine or take that step out of your comfort zone to explore new adventures and accept all the hazards (and possible rewards) that come with it.

Here's a story I read somewhere.

A father asked his kid, 'Do you know who Abraham Lincoln is?'
The kid replied, 'He was the 16th president of the United States.'
Next, the father asked, 'Do you know who Mother Theresa is?'
The kid said, 'Yes, she helped lots of people - the poor, the sick, the elderly, the dying.'
Lastly, the father asked, 'Do you know who Elwood Mcdugle is?'
The kid replied, 'No, who is he?'
The father said, 'My point exactly. You've never heard of him because he was afraid to take risks.'

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky

Change the world

I used to have all these lofty, idealistic notions of going out into the world and changing it with a magical wave of my hand. I would speak words of truth, and just like that, bam! Poverty stamped out, abuse annihilated, hate abolished, violence extinguished, disease wiped out...

But now I've realized it takes more than little old me and my hopes, dreams, and visions to change this world that is unyielding in its ways. Even so, I believe every action I perform, as insignificant as it may seem, has the power to bring this world closer to the change it needs. And that's part of the reason why I want to do this (apparently I'm not supposed to be divulging information about what I'll be doing in the next 4 months, so my updates may be a little vague). 

I want to - apart from challenging myself, learning to serve others' needs above mine, finding direction for my life, and reigniting my passion for God - openly embrace the poor and needy with compassionate arms, fight furiously for those who aren't given the rights they deserve, and offer hope and love to the destitute and despondent.

I want You to heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

I want to change the world... one person at a time.

Stuck in a job you can't get out of

Today we worked from 10am to 9pm, and it was pretty hectic around breakfast time, lunch time, and dinner time. I liked being busy, but not so much the working-for-11-hours-straight part. That... was kind of long.

And as I looked around the food court, I realized I see the exact same faces every single day. The two asian females working at the Chinese stir fry store, the asian guy and girl manning the Japanese sushi place, the indian guys working at the Indian food store, the middle eastern-looking guy taking orders at his kebab place... Some workers are pretty young, probably around my age, give or take a few years. So I'm assuming they're working as much as they can during their school holidays to earn money to pay off school loans and stuff. That's fine, we've all done temporary jobs to get by and make ends meet for the time being.

But then I looked at the older workers, and I wondered how long they've been working there and how they got to this point in their lives. Granted, most of them are probably the store owners or something, but then there's also the cleaning ladies, who are such sweethearts, and other cashiers in huge department stores like Kmart or Woolworths. 

And so I thought, how did they end up working at this kind of dead-end job? I mean, I'm pretty sure no kid grows up thinking, hey, I want to be a cleaner one day, or maybe even a food court worker or a cashier.

I guess for most of them it's probably circumstances in their lives that led them here. Maybe they started working here right out of high school or college, and somehow never made it out to find other jobs. Maybe they settled into a pattern of familiarity and comfort after a while and just didn't feel like taking the risk to do something else. Or maybe they're here because the awful economy affected their previous company badly and they're desperate to do anything that can put food on the table for their families.

Whatever the case, I just felt rather bad for them. I'm sure they had dreams and aspirations once upon a time, and they probably held high hopes for their future... only to have it turn out like this. I wonder if they just gave up on their ambitions because it was the easy way out, or if they were pressured into it, or if they just forget about it gradually. Are they truly content with life as it is? If given the chance to turn back time and change things, I wonder if any of them would do things differently.

Life just happens, I guess. 
But it's kind of a scary thought, because no matter how much I appreciate them and respect them for finding pride and joy in their job, I really really really hope to God this doesn't happen to me. I think life is too short to settle for second best, or even fifth best.

Well, like a friend of mine once told me when I was in LA:

"Shit happens. That's the way life is. You just gotta deal with it and move on."

What I wouldn't give for a voice like this

Brooke Fraser.

Absolutely adore her voice. It's incredible, it's amazing, and I wish to God I could sing like her. If I had a voice like hers, I would be singing every second of every day. And my life would be somewhat like a Disney musical :)

A friend introduced me to this song a while ago - Shadowfeet - and I really love the lyrics. That's what I like about her; she doesn't just sing wonderfully, her songs are actually meaningful and inspiring.

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you 

I like that she branched out from Hillsong and did her own thing, although I think she's a little underrated. I don't know why more people haven't heard of her. Every time I listen to songs like 'Desert Song' and 'Lord of Lords' and 'Lead me to the Cross,' I can't help but feel God tugging at my heart strings.

Spirit now living
And dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed
Ever on Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world
Ever sway me
I'll run 'til I finish the race

Easier said than done... but I'm trying.

My bucket list

As inspired by the movie, "The Bucket List," (I haven't seen the movie, I'm just inspired by its premise) I've written a list myself, before I 'kick the bucket' and go to be with Jesus. But hopefully that won't happen anytime soon, because there's so much I want to do in life.

My Bucket List

-Watch an NBA basketball game live.
-Travel to Kenya or any other African country, explore the place and experience the culture.
-Spend a year doing a missions trip somewhere in the world, helping others in need.
-Go to Venice and ride a gondola.
-Learn ballroom dancing.
-Go skydiving.
-Learn how to use a gun (just for the heck of it).
-Try fencing.
-Learn karate.
-Learn Spanish. Or Korean.
-Ride in a submarine.
-Learn how to surf.
-Jump off a cliff.
-Work on a movie set.
-Visit the Grand Canyon.
-Visit the pyramids of Egypt.
-Visit the Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil.
-Go to Germany during Oktoberfest.
-Celebrate Mardi Gras.
-Go to DisneyWorld in Florida again.
-Go on a road trip and visit all the states in America I haven’t been to.
-Visit Antarctica (after visiting Africa), so I can say I’ve been to every continent in the world.
-Vacation in the Carribean.
-Get certified as a bartender.
-Learn how to cook well.
-Learn how to drive eventually.
-Smoke weed (in a country where it’s legal, just to try it out).
-Go crazy in Las Vegas.
-Swim with dolphins. I will completely get over my absurd fear of the ocean one day.
-Go dog sledding in Alaska.
-Experience first-hand fashion week in NYC.
-Watch a world cup match live.
-Get a tattoo (just a tiny one).
-Help a complete stranger and ask for nothing in return.
-Make an impact on someone’s life unknowingly.
-Find my talents and make full use of them.
-Smile everyday and make others smile too.
-Fall in love.
-Find joy in everything.
-Live life to the fullest.
-Be thankful for everything.

I'm sure there's more, but this is it for now.


What I've already ticked off my bucket list:

-Visited Europe – France: Paris, Italy: Rome, Vatican City, Florence, Germany: Berlin, Munich, Frankfurt, Greece: Athens
-Went to Disney World/Disney Land/Universal Studios/Six Flags/Disney Sea.
-Lived in New York City.
-Went on a cruise.
-Lived in Los Angeles and interned in the film industry.
-Visited the Sydney Opera House.
-Went on a mission trip to Jamaica and Miami.
-Visited the Eiffel Tower.
-Visited the Louvre.
-Visited the ruins of Greece.
-Went into the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City.
-Visited churches and places where Jesus went to in Jerusalem.
-Explored the Coliseum in Rome.
-Visited a concentration camp in Munich.

-Went clubbing in Indiana, NYC, LA, Tokyo, Las Vegas, Hawaii, Bangkok, Singapore.
-Met random strangers and had a meal with them (their treat, of course).
-Let strangers buy drinks for me.
-Stayed over at a stranger’s house.  
(Long story. I know, it could’ve ended badly if they’d turned out to be psychos, but they were pretty cool).
-Got drunk for the first time in NYC.
-Did stupid things when drunk.

-Held a koala bear in Australia (it pooped all over me).
-Broke a bone (three bones, to be exact, and at three different times).
-Dyed my hair (bright red, too).
-Had curly (well, wavy) hair.
-Baked cookies at midnight for study parties.
-Broke school rules and didn’t get caught.
-Sang karaoke in front of a bar full of strangers.
-Danced on stage in front of people (for Airband/for chapel/in a club).
-Sang/played guitar on stage in front of people (for chapel).
-Formed a band called Neveah – 'heaven' spelled backwards - for Taylor Christian Artists and performed regularly as a ministry to others.
-Talked to a Greek hunk on a motorcycle.
-Tossed a coin in the Trevi Fountain in Rome.
-Ate gelato on the Spanish Steps in Rome.
-Went sledding down the ice during winter.
-Led worship.
-Made money by my own hard work – first job ever – Yami Yogurt.
-Taught others how to speak Singlish.
-Had dance parties in classrooms.
-Gambled in a Las Vegas casino.

-Experienced the first fall of snow, snow fights, made snow angels and snowmen.
-Experienced leaves turning red and then falling off as the seasons changed.
-Been in two places at once (every time I crossed a state line in the US).
-Celebrated Cinco de Mayo.
-Made friends with people from all over the world.
-Saw the New York Yankees play a baseball game in their brand new stadium.
-Watched a live football game at college (it was actually exciting when we won the game).
-Had people offer me marijuana, cigarettes and tobacco.
-Wrote an entire full-length screenplay (a romantic comedy).
-Produced a short film and attended its premiere + after party on Sunset Boulevard 
(granted, it was for school, but still cool all the same).
-Attended a film festival in LA.
-Went to several movie premieres in Hollywood.
-Saw several glamorous movie stars on the red carpet during premieres.
-Sat in the same movie theatre as Hollywood stars like Jennifer Garner and Drew Barrymore.
-Went to the movies for free.
-Celebrated Thanksgiving, complete with home cooked meal.
-Went to all kinds of concerts, from Fall Out Boy to Lady Gaga to Backstreet Boys to Pussycat Dolls to The Fray.
-Met up with random strangers from chat rooms.
-Had a pen pal from a different country.
-Went to several TV show tapings, like The Jay Leno Show, The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel Live.
-Attended the CNN Heroes award show in the Kodak Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard.
-Got surprised by a surprise 21st birthday party thrown by friends.
-Saw the legendary David Copperfield in action.


Can’t wait to add more to this growing list :)

Life in Perth

Hello, familiar countryside. Otherwise better known as Perth, Australia.

I have to say I didn't know what to expect, coming to Perth. It was just something to do, to get away from the humidity of Singapore, an excuse to give to others when they ask me what I'm going to do with my life now that I'm a college graduate. But it's good that I didn't have any expectations, because this place would have crushed them. It's a little scary, the way Perth reminds me of Upland, Indiana, the place I recently escaped from and swore I would never return to (unless it was for the weekend to visit good friends).

My first thought when we were driving from the airport to the house was, "This place looks suspiciously like Indiana!" With its terrace houses, spread out properties, tons of abandoned land, even an animal or two wandering around in the grass along the road. It's just my luck - to go halfway around the world only to end up in Upland, Indiana, No. 2., only this time it's worse because I don't have friends here and I'm forced to work at a pizza place SIX days a week, 9am to 5pm, getting paid by my own parents, which is pointless cause it's like family money. And then everything here closes at 5pm SHARP, even the sun says goodnight and goes to sleep, and so I'm left with the entire evening and night to myself. The TV has a grand total of FOUR channels, I didn't bring any of my movie DVDs with me, all my favorite TV shows have ended their seasons in May, so yeah.

I have to find something productive to do with my time. Like frantically searching the web to find something that will get me away from here in the fall. Because this is only temporary. No way am I staying here until next year, much less for the rest of my life. I'm in my twenties, for crying out loud, I need to be somewhere exciting, where I can meet crazy new people and go on adventures and take risks. New York City, anyone?

For the 100th time, how I wish I had a friend who would travel the world with me (backpacking) and work in different countries to make money for our adventures. WHY DONT I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. Why are all my friends going straight from school to work? Doesn't anyone want to explore this great big world and experience things beyond their comfort zone???

Anyway, I'm not bitter or anything. I don't regret coming here. I love the cold weather, because it means no more sweating profusely every second of every day, like in Singapore. Unless I'm on the elliptical in the house, which I'm tremendously grateful for, because it means something else to do at night, plus it's good exercise in the comfort of home. Also, since I have bundles of time every night, I will be learning how to cook! Healthy lifestyle, here I come! And of course I'm happy to be spending time with my mom and brothers, whom I haven't seen since last year. In some ways they've changed, in many ways they haven't. My little brothers are all grown up now. Makes me feel a little old.

So... During my time here, however long I'm staying, I will accomplish my goals!

Goal #1: Eat healthy and workout everyday. (Unless it's sunday, then maybe I will take a break)

Goal #2: Make money from Sarpino's and maybe find another job so I can make money from other people... And make enough of it that I can move to New York City or somewhere by next summer.

Goal #3: Take a class or find a new hobby to occupy the ridiculous amounts of free time I have. Life is too short to sleep.

Post-graduation return home

It feels really weird to be back home after being in Indiana and New York and France and Germany. But I guess it's good to be home. Home is where the heart is, after all. Plus there's great food here. Also great friends and family.
After all that traveling in the last 4 years, I can safely say nowhere can beat Singapore in terms of food. There's seriously all kinds of food you can ever ask for here, and they're all of pretty good quality.


cousins :)

So I did the usual stuff... met up with friends, ate tons of dim sum/ramen/sushi/every asian food imaginable, watched a ton of movies - Prince of Persia, The Karate Kid, Killers, and The A-Team. Gotta love the cheap movies here. Also did some shopping, gotta love the annual Great Singapore Sale.

Watched a NTU chinese hall production, which was actually rather interesting and I surprised myself because I understood it and didn't fall asleep! Went to Sentosa with cousins on a rainy day, saw some of the completed construction on the resorts and on Universal Studios, it looked pretty good. Went to church and heard all about the crazy changes happening... as usual. Did my hair and had a facial... and got lost trying to find the places alone. And met up with a Taylor friend who's here for a summer camp job. It's been a pretty packed 10 days, going out everyday and meeting different people for lunch and dinner. But it's been good. I like being busy. Keeps me from thinking about other things, like how I'm a college graduate and I still don't have a job and I have no idea what to do with my life.

So... after being here only about a week and a half, I'm kind of bored. And ready to go on to someplace new. I don't know why but I'm just always itching to travel and go places and meet new people and experience new things and SEE THE WORLD!

I think I've definitely gotten more adventurous and brave in the last four years. I mean, I liked traveling in the past, but it was more of just going on vacation with the family. Now I wanna live somewhere, immerse myself in the culture, do crazy things, before I actually settle down and live a boring life. haha. I don't know. I've been researching things I can do, like working abroad, interning abroad, working and traveling, working at resorts/cruise ships, and they all sound so wonderfully exciting! I can't decide! Plus they all require money, of course. sigh. Why is it so hard to find a job that allows you to travel and get paid at the same time?!

Oh well. Kind of excited about going to perth, since it's a new place to be explored and new experiences await me. And I'll get to see my two little brothers who hardly talk to me since they're always in front of the TV/their computer but I still love them anyway. But I don't know anyone there, except for my family, so... it could potentially be boring. And since I'm not going to school or anything, there's not really a place I could meet new people, except at church I guess. So here's hoping perth will be a good time :)

Goodbye Singapore, see you.... sometime.

Senior Reflection

This is my senior reflection for the senior show. We were required to write a story capturing our passions and aspirations, our 4 years of experience at Taylor, and our hopes and dreams and how we want to impact culture for the glory of God.

So here's what I came up with...

I love to write. It’s as simple as that. Writing allows me to express my thoughts and opinions about anything under the sun. The little joys of life inspire and motivate me to leave my own unique handprint on the world.

When I was young, I aspired to be a teacher so I could educate others and help shape their character and worldview. That dream fizzled out when I discovered the joys of playing the guitar and drums – I wanted to be a rock star. But after countless ‘jamming’ sessions that left my head pounding and my ears protesting, I came to the conclusion that I was not cut out for the grueling ‘rock ‘n roll’ lifestyle. So I decided to be a worship leader instead. That way, I could utilize my passion for music and still keep my hearing intact 30 years down the road.

I composed numerous songs and thought I was well on my way to fulfilling my purpose in life, when it hit me – I found greater pleasure in writing the songs than in performing them. That revelation set me on the path of writing, which opened up a whole new world filled with all kinds of possibilities.

My desire is to provide light-hearted entertainment through my words, as well as impact the lives of others by evoking emotion and provoking thought. I enjoy writing about my passions: entertainment, fashion, travel, culture, and food. I have worked for a diverse variety of companies, such as an online lifestyle magazine, a talent agency, a university newspaper, and a matchmaking agency. Each experience has been truly beneficial and eye opening. I wish to contribute to culture by crafting compelling stories that will speak profoundly to and leave a lasting impression on the hearts and minds of others.

My four years at Taylor have been an incredible rollercoaster ride of laughter and tears, convictions and doubts, successes and disappointments, and breakthroughs and setbacks. Every experience has taught me something new. I learned to step out of my comfort zone and reach out to a world in need. I found my own distinctive voice and style of writing. I came to appreciate the beauty of diversity. I built friendships with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Through the ups and downs of life, God is the one constant I can always depend on. To others, I may be just another writer, but I believe God has given me this gift so I may be a blessing to the world. I want to live my life in such a way that, at the end of the day, I can say I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.

Writing is my way of communicating to the world who I am, what I believe in, and what I want to achieve.