going homee!

yay! tmr's the day! really excited. dunno how am i gonna get to sleep. not gonna sleep much on the plane! must make full use of all the free movies! haha. spoken like a true kiasu singaporean :) so glad finals are over! now i get to watch prison break without being disturbed. haha. campus is so empty..almost everyone's left alrdy. except me! bored out of my mind.
anw..wanna thank God for my grades. didn't work that hard..so i prob didn't deserve it..but i got all As. except in expos writing i got a B. i just can't do grammar. i can crap out stuff, but dun ask me abt the technical side of writing. ugh.

can't believe how fast time flies! seems like just yesterday i was saying gdbye to everyone..and now i'm goin back! unbelievable.
God has been unbelievably gd to me. kept me going even though there were times when i was down. but i'm really thankful for everything that happened this term..gd and bad. it's been a crazy wonderful experience~ :)

too excited to sleep!

yupyup!!! aaahh. too excited to anything but pack n get ready to leave!!!!! have expository writing finals tmr but who the heck cares when i'm going home soon!!!!! altho pretty sure i'm gonna be so dead tmr cuz i dunno anything about grammar. haha. whateverrr. i've been getting straight As in that class but all because of this stupid research paper i spent all my life on, i now have a B+. cuz she said i plagiarized. grrrrr. my whole class plagiarized, in fact. heh. i guess i admit i did plagiarize..only cuz all the info was too boring to read thru! sigh. B's fine anyway.

today was so stupid. woke up at the break of dawn at 7.40am for my 8 o'clock public speaking final. grrrr. so mad. why can't they make the finals later in the day? am so glad my next semester schedule has no early classes. i'll nv make it thru the whole semester if i have an 8am class. so tired i just went there in my pyjamas n rushed thru it n got done in like 15 mins. haha. then went back n crawled back into bed. but cannot sleep!! even tho i really really need the sleep, nowadays i just can't fall asleep. dunno why. must be the excitement. so gave up tossing n turning n guess what i did.... i watched prison break!! am on episode 18 now!! went thru 18 eps in 3days! am i good or am i good?? :)

so just finished packing. sort of. yayy!!! my suitcase is pretty light for some unexpected reason. thot it'll be heavy until cannot lift up. got into a semi-panic when i couldn't find my passport. but i found it!! now i'm just sittin here waitin for fri morn to come!~!~ok goin back to PB! and then maybe study. :)

prison break!

my new addiction on tv...prison break! omg. such a great show!!! hot guy + thrilling plot = me stuck in my room all day watching prison break season 1. haha. at such a bad time too!! on finals week i get addicted to so many shows! but seriously. so interesting the plot! abt this guy who purposely commits a crime so he can go to prison n get his bro, who's on deathrow, out. so cool! anw..chem final went ok. really glad to get it over with.

ate thai food today! yay! cartoon's mum is soo nice..she flew all the way here just to pick her up n go all the way back to china! i wish my mum would do that! haha. but then again..i shld be independent n learn to fly on my own. plus i'll get to shop in JFK! hopefully there's gd stuff there to buy :)

ok..just wanted to say how incredibly excited i am to go home! seems so close yet so far! time is crawling by! well actually not..since i've watched like 6 40-min episodes of prison break ystdy n 6 more today. haha. back to watching! and then start studying for public speaking. haven't done anything yet. heh. and it's tmr 8am!!!!ugh. hate morn classes. so gonna wake up at 7.55 n walk there in my pyjamas.

i shld be sleeping!

haha yup i really should. have an 8am final chem exam tmr. but..i'm not used to sleeping early! so awake now! haha. finished studying chem! can't wait to burn the book! or sell it back to the bookstore n get my $$ back!~was so hard to study in my room. so distracted by my com n all the shows i could watch on youtube. haha.

had sticky rice n bubble tea (w/out pearls) for dinner..(obviously not from the DC) reminded me so much of food at home!! aaahhh! i think these last few days of term are the absolute HARDEST. it's like so near yet so far!!!! dreaming of all the food i'll be able to bring back for j-term :) makes me happyyy!!! ok that's all. haha. gonna try to sleep now.

:)

omg i totally shouldn't be here!! shld be studyin right now! chem final tmr. ughhhh. so dun feel like reading about polymers.
have been slacking the entire weekend. heh. haven't started studying for anything at all!!! i haven't changed. still as last min as ever.

fri we had our final group presentation for public speaking!!! sooo relieved it's over. i learnt alot..but was a pretty stressful class for me at times. plus i was the last to speak on a fri (last class day) morn. so of cuz there were pple freakin' sleeping when i was talking. so rude can! but i talked fast n got it over with. haha. yayYY!! there was a superbly horrendously long queue at dinnertime. i guess the kiasu spirit is everywhere, not just s'pore. went for silent nite! which is actually a guys bball game. it's like a TU tradition. everyone goes to the game in their pyjamas. and of cuz the guys took that to a whole new level. wearing bathrobes n dressing up n stuff. haha. so we all keep quiet until our team scores the 10th basket then everyone gets up n goes crazy. haha. was pretty fun. for the first few mins. aft that i got bored. just dun like watchin sports.

the guys were entertaining though. some guy dressed up as a fairy n flapped his wings everytime the other team tried to score. he distracted them for a while. but it didn't work mostly. haha. got really tired. haven't got much sleep this wk. having trouble sleeping. dunno why. but didn't get to bed till like 2+ cuz watched beauty n the beast w cartoon arnd midnight. heh.

sat went to alicia's house off campus. such a quaint house! i so wanna live off campus w frens when i'm a senior!! get my own living room n room n kitchen n everything. altho i'll have to clean up aft myself. heh. we decorated cookies! watched charlie brown. so cute :) am pretty much sick of cookies right now. been eating way too many christmas cookies. slacked arnd in my dorm in the afternoon..was gonna study..but somehow..time just flew by n i did nothing. haha. that seems to happen alot. went to ivanhoe's (ice cream place) in the evening with ISS (international students). last time we're gonna meet! till next term that is. they treated us to free ice cream! so nice :)

got back to campus n managed to watch the last part of the ~joys of christmas~ concert. the jazz ensemble was pretty cool. i wanna learn drums for jazz!! so..was planning to study when i got back to my room. but somehow..cartoon came over n we had an impromptu dance party. ahahaha. just the two of us. was hilarious.

watched ~my best friend's wedding~ n ate tom yum noodles! and bubble tea that we bought frm an asian market! but without the pearls cuz didn't wanna open it all at once. yummieee. didn't get to bed till 2 cuz we braided my hair aft that. haha. it's kinda wavy now but gonna wash it out. so fun to experiment w hair! sung ah curled her hair ystdy. cute! :)

ok shld really really go study now. sighhhhh. lookin forward to next weekkkkk!!! aaaahhhhh!!
but then..kinda apprehensive about travelling alone. heh. pray for me k! never travelled alone before! dun wanna get randomly arrested or get lost in the airport or miss my flight!

yayy again!

yay so happy! realized in exactly ONE WEEK i'll be on a plane HOMEEEEE!aaahhh.
can't believe it's so fast. i've said this 1001 times but i still can't believe it!!
4+months have flown by since i left s'pore. seems short but feels fast.so excited abt goin home i keep beaming every few seconds. or smiling secretly to myself. haha. hope pple don't think i'm mad. but i am! mad abt goin home! yayyy again!!

ystdy a grp in class gave a speech on aliens existing. haha. was pretty funny. can't wait for fri so my grp speech can be over!! dunno if i've said this b4 but we're doin on music. i love music~
had gerig open hse..i didn't really do much to help out with the deco.heh.went over to english to see their open hse. was really cool. different wings had different themes..like candyland..nightmare before christmas..and of cuz they had plenty of cookies! i love christmas cookies!

went back to gerig. my suite was doin this nail n massage salon spa thingy..so i painted pple's nails. n there was this guy who was super funny! like he knew more abt beauty n nails n everything more than the girls..haha. was really amusing.
then at 11 we had this eggnog contest in the lounge. was pretty hyped up. alot of pple came. had like 8 contestants..and they kept downing eggnog until they puked. that was the only way to get outta the contest - by puking. so gross can!!
so we got to see every single one of them puke. was gross but entertaining. hahahha.
some pple nearly puked just by watching them puke. i've nv tried eggnog but after this i dun wanna try it. ever. the winner downed like 23 cups. ew.

today was our last foundations of christian thought test!yay!it was a pretty boring class, but i learnt quite abit.abt the different worldviews. like some completely stupid ones like pantheism - everything is an illusion. this keyboard tt i'm typing on doesn't actually exist. suffering dun exist. we're all one with the universe. altogether now - ommmmm...
:)

yay! all better!

thanks for all ur prayers! i'm feelin much better now! :) had a horrid headache ystdy. the weird thing is, i feel sick-ish when i'm in my room, but once i go out into the cold air n talk to pple i feel much better. heh. anw the sore throat's gone, so that's gd.

this wk's so full of stuff! esp open houses. that's like when all the dorms are open for anyone to go see..so like guys can go to girls' dorms n vice versa. some dorms had pretty sweet decorations. penthouse was like the best. they must've spent days on it!! cuz they transformed the whole hallway into like this medieval theme thingy..with dragons and castle walls and shields and even a well in the middle of nowhere. was really cool. not christmas-y, but still cool.

ooh and i started wearing my thicker jacket nowadays..cuz it's been snowing. the sidewalks are all frosted over. super duper cold. esp when the wind blows all the snow flurries into ur face. ugh. totally stinging. so anw i look really poofyy!!! like a big huge ball with so many layers. hahah. but whatever. i'd rather be ugly n warm than look nice n freeze to death.

too much stuff to do this wk. final presentation for public speaking..ughhhh. really want it to be over soon!! and have to re-do my expos paper cuz the teacher said i plagiarized!! what an insult! well..actually it's probably true. i mostly copied and pasted lotsa stuff. haha. was just hoping she wouldn't find out. sighh. now have to go thru it again. i hate the topic of child abuse. i've read everything about it TO DEATH. so sick of it! really wanting next thur to come..cuz that means all the finals are over n i get to go home! still need to find a ride to the airport, though. can't believe time flies by so fast. feels like just yesterday we were having orientation. now the semester's almost over! and i actually haven't seen my family n friends n abt 5 months! whoaaa.

anw..ILOVECHRISTMAS!~

sick

this weekend was ok..just that i fell sick. still sick now. sore throat n feverish. and it doesn't help that the weather's dropping to 20F..which is like below 0 degrees celsius.so super cold that it snowed ystdy and the pavement was all icy. plus i have 2 presentations to make this wk, a test and 2 papers due. such bad timing. pls pray for me! guess all that junk food finally took a toll on my health. i hate being sick.

...

ok so i realized my blog's gettin kinda annoyingly big n slow..so deleted some pics since pple have alrdy seen them..
anw..this wk's been slow.and yet fast.really really cant wait for christmas!! haven't got much sleep this wk even though i dun have much hw.guess why???been watching tv shows on youtube. like america's next top model! and one tree hill! haha.
next wk's gonna suck..2 grp presentations..a few papers due n a test. ugh. but whatever. can't wait to go hommmeee!!!! :))))

ystdy we had this christmas banquet thingy..pple were all dressed up n stuff. but i didn't really care. my cramps was bugging me to death. first time since i've been here that it hurts so bad. sighhh. and i thought it was gone. sometimes i just dun understand why God lets me go through so much pain every single month. why me..so unfair. especially when most other pple i know never even experience this kinda pain before. this time was especially bad. got all nauseated n giddy n everything. ugh.
but..took a pill. it helped. feel like an escapist though. dun usually take the pills. but just didn't wanna be in pain the whole day.
so...went to see taylor chorale perform last nite..was ok. kinda fell asleep. heh.

flight

ooh forgot to say..
COMING HOME ON 17DEC 7AM!!! aaaahhhh!! only like 3 more wks! super duper excitedddd :) :) :) :)
can't wait! miss u all!! miss the food too!! miss the gd old sunny weather too!
but lookin forward to the flight though.
have to transfer flight FOUR times plus wait SIX hours at newyork JFK airport. uggghhhhh. hope i can make it for youth service on sun!~!~!!~!~!~!~

thanksgiving~~

give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever~
thank You Lord for being with me thru everything. just like You promised, since You brought me to it, You'll bring me through it. thank You for family and friends and everyone that i love! :)

am in the midst of thanksgiving break now..at faith's house. (the fren i knew in pri sch) with cartoon n sung ah :) 3 hours drive from taylor. having asian partayy! haha. gd food. went to the park yesterday. been a lonnnggg time since i cycled! haha. thanksgiving dinner was gd..i love turkey! the family invited two other chinese couples over. they were so chinese! haha. like china chinese. the little girlie was adorableeee!! ate till i was stuffed. :)

it's been a gd relaxing break. not much hw too! read psalms 24 yesterday..something it said struck me - the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.
everything i have belongs to the Lord. and He has blessed me with so much, but He can take away easily too. so thank You Lord for all the blessings in my life. help me to use what You've given me for Your glory~

EXCITED

so excited so excited so excitedddd!!!! aahhhh!!!
thanksgiving break starts tmr!! well it started already for me since i dun have any classes tmr!~!~ aaahhh!!!
a week long break!~!~~! who wouldn't be excited???
kinda missed class today cuz was too absorbed on my com. haha. who cares abt chemistry anyway.

met my global engagement family..or at least one person from the family. it's this thing where they pair up international students with families here..to make them suffer or smth. haha. i didn't ask to be paired up but they gave me a family anyway. heh. guess they figured i couldn't turn them down if they alrdy assigned me one. oh well. she's really nice though. she's the off campus coordinator..and i'm thinkin of goin to aust for music studies or washington for their journalism program so talked to her abit abt that. had a nice lunch with her at ivanhoe's. plus she treated me! so nice of her :)

just got back from watchin half of 'the island' with rebecca..freaky movie. so like brave new world. i've never been this free in my life!! nothing to do!! dun even have hw..or much of it..during the break. makes me kinda bored. haha.

found a few JC friends i haven't been in contact with since As..they're all overseas now! and having the time of their lives partying and having fun..and..i guess i can't help feeling a little little bit jealous. like what on earth am i doing here in upland, indiana, stuck in an ulu place with nothing much to do. can't have parties/dancing or clubbing..i know these aren't things i should be doing, but..uggghhh..just so boring around here! doesn't help that my dorm's kinda boring too!! wish i were in the city..where i could at least go out n shop or smth. i guess i don't wanna be one of these people do party non stop and waste their lives away. but sometimes it's just nice to have a little fun. maybe God's purposely making me stay here so i'll stop yearning for things of the world and spend more time with Him. hmm.

-

u know what, all my posts are always so long and loh soh..
so decided to do a record breaking short one!
~Jesus, be the centre
be my hope, be my song, Jesus
Jesus, be my vision
be my path, be my guide, Jesus~

tired again...

eyes closing now. going to sleep after this. thought it'll be a nice, relaxing weekend where i could finally sit in my room and 'nua'..haha. and just do nothing. but no..so tired now!!

ystdy went to workout. actually managed to stay in the gym for 45mins! so proud of me. no longer a slacker. haha. my legs ache so bad now though. only been to the gym twice since i've been here. haha. and omg. i saw the calorie counter thingy..and i ran for like 20+mins and i only burned like 300 calories i think. omg!! i can eat more than 300 calories in one meal!! i read somewhere ( was it in Drawing Near?) that our body is a temple of God..not that i didn't know that before, but it just didn't strike me that much before. feel like i've been defiling my body or smth. haha. sounds kinda extreme but..i've been filling my body with junk food and bad stuff! have to detox now..gonna eat only salads and fruits forever! well maybe not forever but for a while. heh. anw i want God to be pleased with all aspects of my life..even the way i eat. hmm..does that mean all the chocs n maggi mee in my room has got to go??? :(

did laundry. the fun of doing laundry is seeping away. i hate doing laundry!!!! ugh. plus it made my jeans shrink! i'm serious. it's not that i've put on weight although i'm sure i have, but it was fine one day and then i washed it and put it in the dryer (fatal mistake) and then the next day it was tighter! damn sad now. not gonna last winter with only 3 pairs of jeans!!!

went to visit swallow robin for the first time since i've been here..never got around to going there. it's just so far away. but i like it. it's so small and home-y. sat there and had a deep conversation with sung ah. haha. it was nice. went over to the souphouse..supposed to watch matrix 2 but ended up playing games w other pple there. then we got hungry so walked over to handy andy's! ahhh..so bad eating choc at night!!! but the worst part of the evening was later. we played spoons. which is essentially the game heart attack but when u lose u dun slap pple's hands. u drink one HUGE glass of water. i lost twice. the water was extremely gross. ugh. had to go pee like 6 times after that. but it still was fun in the midst of the suffering. haha.

got back to my room pretty late and woke up at 7+am today. so tired! i dun even wake up this early for sch. went with some pple to amy's church - muncie alliance. was pretty cool. worship was alright. they actually sang hillsongs! haha. it just nv fails to amaze me when pple around here know hillsongs..guess they're pretty well-known after all! that's cool. but the tempo of worship was kinda...slowwww. soothing but slow. the msg was good. i liked it! about not caring about what others think, but only about what God thinks.

'the fear of man hinders us from pleasing God'
seems like God keeps telling me not to care about what others think but to just go ahead and be firm in what i believe and just live for Him.
~it's all about You, Jesus. and all this is for You, for Your glory and Your grace. it's not about me, as if You should do things my way. You alone are God, and I surrender to Your ways~
dun mind going back to that church again :)

went shopping after that!~!~ i LOVE shopping ever since i've been here!! it just makes me happy to go away from campus and just see the outside world!! hahaha. guilty to say i bought alot of stuff again. heh. but i have gd reason! it's clothes in preparation for winter cuz i've been pretty much freezing everyday. altho i got some pretty summer clothes!!couldn't resist! :)
it's kinda depressing around here. no wonder pple get seasonal depression. seriously. i shld take some pics. it's gloomy and dark and rainy and the trees are all BOTAK now. looks like a scene from a horror movie where the trees move and kill pple or smth. ugh. no more black for my wardrobe. outside's depressing enough.

LOVE YOU LORD!~

happiee day :)

today's a happie day! i was floating on clouds all day long. haha. suanggita emerlin called me early in the morn and woke me up from my delicious sleep! but..that was ok. ecstatic to hear from her! love u suang! really glad u called. missed u!! and i have no idea how to call s'pore! tried but nv got through. haha. anw..just really encouraged by suang n the stuff she said. so..gd start to gd day! :) plus another interpersonal comm class opened up so i dropped geology with glee! :) NO SCI for me next term!! awesome!! haha.

and then public speakin class was fun..we had to do this puzzle today. i love puzzles! and our grp speech is on music! persuading pple to go learn an instrument. i love music! and then expos writing was awesome too! we were at the com lab so i chatted with pple the whole time..except for one min where the teacher walked up behind me so i quickly logged off and pretended to be working on my paper. haha. but i got to talk to so many pple!~!~ happie. so touched by what u said, kenny! haha. and terry!!! future MC!! awesommeee.. :) can't wait to go home!~!~!~

really really really really really completely totally definitely nauseatingly sick of DC food right now. even maggi mee everyday is better compared to what i face in the DC. oh god. it's enough to turn me away from food. i've gone from 'i live to eat' to 'i eat to live'. i'm like, let's just get this over with. just go eat dinner/lunch n be done with it. it's that gross! ugh. so totally coming back here with tons of food for next term. gonna be well prepared.

had TCA in the evening..we went to this church in hartford city few mins away..it was alright. the pple in the church were really nice n told us we did good..kinda tired though. need my sleep. came back and got a nice surprise! talked to my parents n grandma on skype! :) my two little bros refused to talk to me though. rather play xbox/watch tv than talk to me! their best sister in the whole wide world! oh well. guys will be guys. then walked out arnd midnight to get some food..that's one nice thing about staying in the ulu countryside..it's pretty safe. :)
so..going to sleep now. not gonna wake up tmr till afternoon. yay!
~Jesus, be the centre of my life~

my generation~

registered for classes for spring semester yesterday! successful! haha. everyone told me freshmen usually don't get most of the classes they want, but i got into all! amazing! praise the Lord! :) and to imagine i was so stressed out cuz the classes were filling up pretty fast. God is always good :) ystdy i was so tired from gettin only 4hrs of sleep everyday that i went to bed early! at 12. heh. funny how 12 has become 'early' for me. at least i got like 10 hrs of sleep. which is definitely good.
oh, so.. classes i'm taking next sem (some are fun, some...not so.)

intro to christian educational ministries, ethnic and minority issues, biblical literature, intro to computer something (ugh. u all know how wonderful i am at computers. not!), digital tools, fit for life (oh god. i never knew i'd be doing stupid PE in college.), intro to geology (omg. another horrid class. just to fulfil my sci requirements. grr.)
17 credits. the max u can take. i'm such an overachiever. haha.maybe i shld drop something so i won't be so busy.

but angry at msn!!! having so much trouble with it. everytime i try to talk to pple, what i say doesn't go across and pple think i'm ignoring them but i'm NOT! it's the stupid system. sorry guys! i really dunno what's wrong. and then it'll log off randomly for me. grrr.

anw today was my 2nd last voice lesson. pretty glad. gettin kinda sick of it. hahaha. wish i had a better voice. had floor dinner today..sat near the mexican bar, so i pretty much smelt of cooking oil after that. gross. and then went for small group. was a pretty interesting discussion. we're reading this bk, the ragamuffin gospel. so we were discussing about the different denominations in christianity and why must they fight n argue all the time especially about petty stuff, and why can't everyone just get along since we're supposed to be ONE in Christ? and i shared with them how i've been feeling..that some pple here have very different beliefs from me and it's really hard..and i heard pretty interesting stuff from the other girls. seems like some of them grew up in conservative churches where women have NO voice in church. whatsoever. kinda sad. thought society was over that. but apparently not.

like 2 girls wanted to be pastors when they grew up, but they faced opposition from their church, even from their parents cuz they believed women have no place in leadership in the church! how sad is that???
so i told them about our church..and how women began to rise up after G12 came..and they were really amazed. so we decided to have a debate for fun. we each got put on the opposite side. so i have to argue why women shouldn't have a place in the church. heh. someone please tell me why. cuz i'm definitely not on my own side.

went for My generation night tonight. there was like a LONG line waiting outside the chapel. it's like different bands from taylor performing songs from our generation..which is 1990s..was pretty alright. the bands weren't that awesome. but some were cool. am so gonna have to put together a band and try out for next year!! haha. should be fun :)
had TCA prac again. tiring. we're playing 3 songs tmr at the concert..
amazing love (you are my king), in the secret, and before the throne.
i LOVE before the throne. it's a great song. love it to death.
have to improve on my guit skills.

in the quiet

~in the secret, in the quiet place...in the stillness You are there~

today was rush rush rush. mad rush to finish studying for a quiz, mad rush to finish planning my 4 yr schedule in one hr..now mad rush to plan my schedule for next semester. stressing OUT. cuz freshmen are last to register, all the good classes are taken up!! plus i don't register till 11am tmr! which means more time for OTHER people to take spaces in the classes i want!!! grrrrr. was panicky few hrs ago. but now...whatever. let God decide which class i should get into. just hope they're gd classes.

went to the prayer chapel today..where AAA (Asian awareness association) invited this youth pastor frm chicago to come preach. it was a small intimate gathering. he was a great guy! funny n friendly n all.. an alumni from wheaton college. and he lived in s'pore for a year! so he was all 'yeah lah' and 'makan lah' to me..haha. anw..the message really spoke lots to me. he talked about losing his fire for God in college..so it was all from his own experience. he said no one ever tells u this, but it's really easy to lose sight of God especially in a christian college, cuz even though u go through all the motions and activities that seem to be 'christian', in your heart it's easy to lose your first love for Him. which i think is really true.

most activities we're involved in are to do with God..we take classes about christianity and our faith..we have chapel 3 times a wk, yet we still lose our love for God. especially since we take classes about our faith. sometimes it's not so good to learn too much. feel that it makes u cynical and abit too dependent on what's tangible instead of having faith and believing in the unseen. was really encouraged by him cuz i realized i'm not alone. that many of the people who went to that session, most of whom i knew, felt the same way as me.

he asked us to close our eyes and think of a time when we used to be deeply and passionately in love with the Lord..the times we spent together with Him, when we were full of the joy of the Lord. and he observed that all of us, with the exception of one person, were looking grouchy when we closed our eyes. to say that our memories of closeness with the Lord weren't very good? cuz normally when u think of gd memories, a smile comes to ur face. well i dunno for them, but for me i wasn't smiling much cuz as i thought of how much more on fire i was for Him in the past, i just felt really horrible. like how come i've drifted so much?? like God loves me so but i keep breaking His heart..

he preached from revelation 2. saying 'you have forsaken your first love. remember the height from which you have fallen! repent and do the things you did at first. if you do not repent, i will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.'

and then he asked us this question - are you in love with God now? at this very moment, not yesterday, not just now, but right now. is Jesus your first love? and i really had trouble answering that.. couldn't say yes. didn't wanna say no. but i knew.. that deep inside i have been losing my love for God ever since i've came. i tried..regaining it..but it just kept slipping away. so the tears came..and it was the first time i cried in front of people here. wasnt alone cuz others were sniffing too, which made me feel better. heh. and i didn't feel like i needed to hold back, cuz i knew the Lord's presence was there and i was hurting because i let Him down again and again. and the Lord just ministered to me and gave me a renewed passion for Him.
i am gonna love Him like never before!!!

~i'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for~

pics from NCMSLC

sung ah and josh with statues at the museum

me and norah at the banquet at NCMSLC

me and sung ah swimminggg

ruth, sung ah and me

josh and me. that's his idea of an asian pose. haha.

back to schooolll...

was SO busy yesterday (sunday). woke up late cuz wanted to catch up on sleep. had TCA (taylor christian artists) the WHOLE DAY. prac with my band at 3, rehearse with other bands on stage in chapel at 5, then TCA worship night at 8. no time to do any hw at all. so dead! rehearsal went kinda shaky. not used to dealing with technology n stuff. now i understand how come bands can go offkey or play badly on stage. cuz u can't hear each other!! i could only hear my guit n the lead singer! couldn't hear the piano, couldn't hear myself. ugh. but we weren't off key, thank God. we didn't have our lead lead singer cuz she was sick. bad. that meant i had to sing. oh god. i'm not the best singer in the world!!! but i had to..for the band. heh. got really nervous as i saw more n more pple comin in..it wasn't a full house, but it was quite a few pple plus pple i knew. scared! but being the second band to get up on stage really helped. i just surrendered it all to God while worshipping when the first band was playing, so that helped calm my nerves a bit. then it was our turn..and it went by so fast!!!

it was AWESOME. had SUCH a great time just worshipping and praising God and the best thing was, it wasn't a performance, cuz pple were worshipping along with us!!! AWESOME. best feeling in the world. even though i couldn't hear my own voice or the piano, i think we did ok. n pple in the crowd thought we did great, so yay!! they seemed to like us. haha. plus they laughed when brent (our drummer) introduced us cuz he was like, we're nevaeh, and if ur not dyslexic, that is heaven spelled backwards. haha. all glory to God! i so wanna do it again!!! and we are..this friday. and it's a worship night on a bigger scale, cuz we're goin to hartford city and playing with other bands. so cool! really lookin forward to it. :)

after playing ystdy, realized this is what i really really LOVE with all my heart! playin in front of a crowd, bringing them into worship. would be more awesome if i had a gd voice so i could actually lead, but..oh well. so awesome to see their faces as they praise God.

so did not want to get up at 7am today. but had to! my com crashed last night. well sort of. microsoft word went crazy while i was in the midst of my 10 pg research paper which i only just started yesterday and was due today. heh. too busy!! but thank God i managed to finish it by 10am when it was due..and go for chapel where handbells was supposed to perform. supposed. we didn't in the end. one girl forgot all about it and we couldn't go on with one member missing. so we didn't perform. i'm kinda relieved. cuz we were pretty unprepared despite what the instructor kept saying. he's SUCH a nice person!! keeps telling us we're amazing when i can hear how bad we are. hahaha. he's so encouraging though. saw me perform ystdy and told me i did great!! happy. couple of pple told me that too, which was really really encouraging and what i needed. :)

finally found my advisor today and talked to him about registering for jan term and spring term semester classes. really hope i can get into the classes i want, cuz i'm a freshman, and we get to go last so by now most gd classes are already filled. pray that i can get the classes i want! easy classes to meet my general education requirements! haha.

NCMSLC

so..was down the past few days. left for cedarville, ohio for NCMSLC (national christian multicultural student leaders conference) kinda reluctantly. didn't wanna go anywhere or do anything. but the conference was really amazing. thank God so much i went.

the car ride there was kinda long..2hrs+..ate, slept, talked. josh (this guy frm argentina) was really funny. he looked thru my ipod and found something to laugh at. cuz right after a limp bizkit song came this song by psalty, the animated bible thingy. so was kinda funny. haha. anw reached there really tired. first session i really couldn't pay attention. was falling asleep. we stayed with pple in cedarville uni's dorms, and my host was reallyyy nice! so warm and friendly :) made me happy.

and whoa. the things we heard abt cedarville n some other universities made me oh-so-thankful i'm here at taylor! never again will i complain about the no-dancing rule here! at cedarville, they are weird rules like NO HUGGING! oh gosh. that's just extreme. and they have a curfew! i'm so glad we don't. they have to pay 1buck for every minute they're late. such strict rules. and they're alrdy adults still treat them like that. but the students don't seem to mind. i guess to each his own. come to appreciate taylor alot now :)

the next day was gd..had a few sessions. like holy hip hop. felt completely out of place cuz there were all blacks n i was like the only asian. haha. but it was cool. watched this series called 'black/white' about a black family who went thru lotsa makeup n stuff to look 'white' and a white family who did the same thing to look 'black' and experience their way of life. was really interesting how different both cultures were and how they had a hard time adapting. i guess i never really thought there existed a race issue before. but apparently it's a real hot topic here. i don't know. didn't feel like it concerned me much. to me, what divides the church of Christ most is the different denominations, not different ethnicities.

but i guess i've learnt that ethnicity can play a part in influencing your denomination. my fren was telling me about african churches here that speak in tongues n worship the Holy Spirit and pray by the spirit n everything, and when i told her that's what my church does at home too, she was shocked. i guess it don't happen often here. someone in my public speaking class gave a speech today on why there are not many americans coming to christ nowadays. he said 9 out of 10 pple fall away after their decision. meaning their follow up isn't gd enough. which i agree. they don't even consolidate pple. just ask them to receive in their hearts n go home n do nothing.

anw, at night we went to this national underground railroad freedom museum. i thought it was literally about railroads, but someone explained to me it was about slavery of blacks. which goes to show how much i know about american history.heh. it was really interesting..took a few pics :) really glad i went for the conference. got to know more pple..and got to talk about issues that concern me. a minority. so weird to say. never been a minority before. but i guess now i understand how minorities feel.

the last day was the best..we went to our own ethnic caucases. so i went for the international students one. didn't wanna go for the asians one cuz i knew it'll be all asian americans, which means they're essentially americans. seriously. asian americans aren't asian at all. they just look it but inside they don't even know anything about their culture. total banana. haha. anw it was wonderful!!! encouraging to know there are pple struggling with the same issues as me..everyone was so nice. and i realized the international student society here at taylor is the BEST! we're taken care of SO WELL compared to other universities. thank God once again for putting me here!!! :)

a few things pple said that touched me. one guy was like, i'm proud of my accent and i won't change it for the world! who cares if americans can't understand me. that's what i like about being in a foreign ctry. it was really cool how firm he was in his own identity. and he also said it's important to FIND yourself first and not let others influence u. so i'm determined to STAND STRONG in what i believe in and who cares about what others say. i know the truth is the truth and that is Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour, and to heck with all the discouraging comments. so what if they don't believe in what i believe in?? i know what i beileve in is right, and that's all that matters. no one should be able to sway me.

and also..cuz i've been strugglin with their style of worship n all..someone said we are the ones who have chosen to come here, and God has put us here for a purpose, so i believe i can get over myself and begin to worship Him wholeheartedly even though the worship style isn't what i'm used to at all. i'm gonna revolutionize the whole worship scene here at taylor!!!! :)

~oh God let us be a generation that seeks
seeks Your face oh God of Jacob~

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide you face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?


Look on me and answer, O Lord my God
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him.'
and my foes will rejoice when I fall


But I trust in your unfailing love
my heart rejoices in your salvation
I will sing to the Lord
for He has been good to me

~how many times have i broken your heart
still you forgive if only i ask
how many times have you heard me pray
draw near to me
everything i need is You
my beginning my forever~

:(

today was a pretty down day. i don't know.

speech class made me kinda down. got the feedback abt my speech frm the rest of the class. the comments were pretty gd..most pple liked it. just that i spoke too fast. again! i tried to slow down already!! grrr. but like, 2 pple said stuff that made me really sad. one was like, u shld have chosen a topic that u could persuade. of cuz everyone'll say that we need God more. cop out.

!!!! that was so mean. does that mean this person spends time with God daily, regularly? never failing to put aside time for Him? then i admire his discipline. but it's been a personal struggle for me, so the speech is personal. i wasn't persuading them to acknowledge we need God more, i was persuading them to not be so caught up in life that they forget God.

and then another was like, i have a personal lack of faith in most of ur sources. lotsa false assumptions. assumed loving God=spending time with Him alone. then why wouldn't God say this explicitly in the Bible? doesn't God want many different things from us?

but doesn't God want us to spend time with Him alone?? yeah He wants many things from us, but first He wants us to love Him and then do His works. i'm just really confused right now. what's wrong with my sources?? the purpose driven life, drawing near, live your calling. i don't see anything wrong. i feel like i'm in a college with people who claim to be christians but actually believe in something worlds apart from me. i don't even feel a connection with them as a body of christ. it's just so hard cuz they all believe in something so unfamiliar to me. feel like my faith is being tested or something. either there's something wrong with their beliefs or mine. right now it feels like mine's wrong. like they're all ganging up against me n telling me the God i've always believed in and loved doesn't exist.

how could we be so different? isn't God the same everywhere? doesn't He treat everyone the same? isn't the Bible the same everywhere? then how come i feel like no one understands the God i know? this just makes me doubt myself. makes me depressed.

if i can't even persuade college CHRISTIAN students about God, how on earth can God use me to persuade others around the world to come to know Him? i feel like maybe everything i ever thought i heard from Him was wrong. maybe He doesn't wanna use me to speak to the lost anymore. maybe i'm just meant to take a boring desk job somewhere in the middle of nowhere n just be like those pple who are christians only on sunday. i feel like i don't even have the ability to do anything for Him. i don't even have any talents. how can God use someone like me.

just heard the song 'free'
~would u believe me if i said that we are the ones who can make the change in the world today
would u believe me if i said that all of the dreams in your heart could come true today~

i don't think i have the faith to believe this anymore. i can't even change the people arnd me. how can i change the world.

my heart is shattered to dust. where are you, Lord?

WOW~

This wk is World Opportunities Week. excited! haha :) at the DC there were booths with all sorts of different ministries u could get involved in. pretty cool.

anw on sun i hardly got any sleep. was a total walking zombie. woke up at the break of dawn at 7am for handbells..performed at our instructor, Dr parker's church. was a pretty church. we messed up abit on the songs, but it was alright. everyone was so sweet and told us that we did great :) after lunch had TCA prac..trying to tie up all the loose ends last min. we performed at some veterans' home in the evening. rented a car from Taylor and drove there..kinda got lost cuz we had no idea what the directions were trying to tell us.hahaha.

anw finally found the place..it was creepy at first. like dark and deserted. about 20+pple turned up for our performance..they thought we were gonna preach or smth cuz we overheard them saying smth abt a 'church service'.heh. so not. played 50mins worth of songs and read scriptures. went pretty alright for our first gig. gd first experience :)

they were all so nice! they really appreciated us :) one guy even came up to me and asked me abt my guit..which i knew nothin abt.haha.shld go find out more abt my guit so i won't look like an idiot whenever someone asks me abt it..which is quite often.
super tired on sun. running on little sleep. plus had to work on my speech :(

gave my persuasive speech today. topic was on taking time off life to be with God. think i did pretty ok. was kinda nervous the first few seconds, but after that was ok. just didn't really know what to do with my hands. haha. i liked my topic though :)

glad to get it over and done with! one more speech and i'm done with this class! yay! had dance prac in chapel..still need to perfect it!!! hope we'll be ready by wed! and then TCA prac again..cuz we're performing again this sun on campus. heh. need to be more perfect cuz we'll be performing in front of pple we know!!! but we sounded pretty alright so it's cool :)

just came back from a late night run to walmart with gerig pple..was fun :) got stuff i needed. like food. hahaha. and water. the horrid thing is i've gotten so used to fountain water i find the taste of bottled water weird! haha. which is bad. stopped at Payne's for drinks after..their hot chocolate is yummy! so glad tmr is tue. gonna skip foundations cuz its a useless class. which means my first class starts at 3pm! yay! i can sleep till 2pm! i love my life :)

~Jesus paid it all...all to Him i owe...sin had left a crimson stain...He washed it all away~

relaxeddd..

:) this wk's been so relaxing! love it. but next wk's gonna be hectic. haha. hardly had any hw at all this wk! so happieee. :)

had dance practice everyday this wk. we're performing next wed in chapel! half nervous half excited half ready to get it over with. haha. finally paid the overdue fees for my voice lesson. heh. not used to being responsible for my finances yet. had to pay interest cuz it was overdue. haha. still haven't gotten my health shots from the health center. not really lookin forward to it. trying to delay as much as possible.

thur we had prayer and praise with our bro and sis floor.. was pretty cool. us all worshipping at the racquetball courts. could hear our voices echoing off the walls. ystdy went for soup night..gd food again! i love eating elsewhere other than the DC. then had dance prac again. tiring. and then went to see the girls' first basketball game of the season. stayed till half time. they were pretty gd. and we won! yay :) our team pple were so tall compared to their opponents.

then went to the souphouse (a place where some guys stay off campus) and watched the first episode of lost. was trying to introduce it to capri cuz she nv watched it before. josh came and made popcorn for us! he was so nice! watched hoodwinked aft that..it was this kiddy animation show. pretty cute though. the hyperactive squirrel. i love squirrels! and then came back to the dorm abt 1am..ate tom yum noodles with cartoon again. haha. got a stomachache again. should stop eating chilli stuff at night. talked to my family n cousins on skype!!! happieee. cute little angel and crystal! aaahhh. love them lots. so super adorable. wish i could reach out n squeeze their cheeks. :)

today was super busy..went for cartoon brunch! they set up this projector in the DC and we watched cartoons while eating lunch. felt like we were re-living our childhood.haha. watched looney tunes..dun really like cartoons, but this was pretty entertaining. :)

had dance prac...again. but we've finally finalized our dance steps! now all that's left is to perfect it. heh. and find our costumes. easier said than done! went to ivanhoe's (an ice cream parlour within walking distance of taylor) for sundaes..yummy! walked there with a couple of girls from my dorm. had a gd bonding time :) hannah psychoanalyzed us..haha. asked us like, what's our fav col, what's our fav animal and where's our fav place. the first symbolizes how u see urself, or how u want others to see u, the second shows how ur future spouse will be, and the third is how u view God. :)

everyone knows my fav col - black. cool colour. so pple think i'm cool..laidback. that's kinda like me. haha. then fav animal..dolphins! cuz they're so cute! so my future guy will be cute! haha. and fav place..back home when we have family gatherings..cuz i love my cousins! and that's how i view God - familiar, comfortable.. :)

anw ran kinda late for TCA prac cuz i lost track of time while at ivanhoe's.haha. so didn't get to practice much with them. but meeting again tmr cuz we really have to prac for our performance tmr and next sun. just got back from skating with a couple of international students. was pretty fun!!! never roller skated before. roller blade yes, but not skate. it's the one with 4wheels in a square shape. not roller blade, like the wheels all in one line. but i got used to it pretty fast, and could skate arnd the circle without holding the rails. haha. saw a few guys doin tricks in the middle of the ring. so cool! played tag..haha. made it more fun and purposeful cuz skating in circles becomes monotonous after a while. but bad thing - got tagged and totally fell on my knees. ouch. they hurt so bad now!!!

and.. realized i've been incredibly blessed by God..like in terms of finances. alot of pple here have to work n save for their tuition fees, and i don't have to worry about all that. even have pocket money given by my parents. so..just really grateful to God for providing so much for my family :) God is gd, all the time!!

halloween

today's halloween! not that i care. but there were little kids coming to our dorm doing trick-or-treat..was so cute!! they were all decked out in their costumes. some were horses, fairies, even saw a guy from taylor in a spiderman costume. haha. and a little girl in a french fries costume. adorable.

today was a great day. the first relaxed day i've had in a long while!! first class started at 1..woke up abt 11+ to study for the foundations of christian thought test at 1..was pretty easy.

remember when i was all excited abt this course? well, not really anymore. all he talks abt is animal and human bodies and sex. feel like i'm in sec sch again where they always make us sit thru sex education talks. ugh. anw..actually managed to finish all my hw by 9.30pm today!! so proud of myself. haha. went for a halloween party/gathering thingy with the other ethnic scholars. was alright. lotsa candy and caramel apples n stuff. sorta looking forward yet not really to next wk. the gd thing is the christian leaders conference is next wk! and i get to miss classes to go to cedarville, ohio! coolness. and TCA worship night is next sun. our band's playing. excited! and we've got our dance performance for WOW week. but..got my speech to deliver on mon morn. what a way to start the wk! nervous. i keep talking too fast whenever i get up there to give my speech. sigh. not just nerves but i've got too much content to gotta say it all out in the given time limit. haha.

taking time off life to spend with God :)

always and forever

fire fall down..on us we pray... guess what!! we sang that song in chapel today!! i was FLOORED. AMAZED. FLABBERGASTED. they actually sang hillsongs!~!~ oh my gosh. i loved that band. hope they play every time!!! was so excited. and i was like the only one who knew how to sing n was singing it happily. haha. wheee. just really psyched they played somethin other than hymns!!!

chapel was wonderful. glad i woke up in time to go :) this missionary from lebanon came to speak to us..he's had such a hard life bringing the gospel to the lost in lebanon..all that persecution n all..but thru it all he still remained faithful and continued proclaiming God's word. so amazing. i hate to say it but i just feel like if God wants to send me to some third country i'll just die there..dun think my threshold of pain/bad living conditions is that high. sometimes i just wish i love science so i can study medicine n be a doctor n go help those kids in the poor countries. just feel so HELPLESS. like there are people all over the world suffering n here i am, doing nothing about it. sigh.

anw yesterday was a slack day. went to chapel for service..did hw..slacked arnd. sunday's always my hw day. :( mad rush at the library every sun 9-12mdnight. haha. just came back frm dance prac n dinner..kinda nervous abt performing in front of everyone in chapel next wed!!! so fast!!!

shoppingggg!!

went shopping today!~!~happieee :) went to muncie mall 45mins away with sung ah, cartoon n her parents. they're so cute!haha. bought so much stuff. heh. bags!warm clothes!food!yay! got cute little gloves n a beanie. i love cute winter clothes! was gonna buy this absolutely adorable pair of winter boots, but..alrdy have one. shouldn't waste money!!haha. but they were oh-so-cute!! but am quite appalled by the total amount i spent today. heh. making up for going so long without shopping. even though i just shopped at chicago last wk. :)

spent like..US200+bucks. heh. couldn't resist buying the House season 2 dvd!!! i love house. shall not spend on anything other than warm clothes anymore. didn't get to buy fruits/healthy stuff though..cuz stupid Target didn't sell!! and we didn't go to walmart. oh gosh. heard so many horror stories of walmart..like they support the gay cause. so all my money goes to promoting gay pple or smth. haha. i so need to eat healthy stuff now. getting no nutrition from DC food. none at all.

then went to the Daudts' house for international food dinner!!! had thai curry, argentina style steak, some kinda muffin thingy, n other delicious foodies!! happiness.

after that planned to crash the taylor chorale concert..cuz had to pay 8 whole bucks for the concert!!! was gonna sneak in..but they collected tix. so ended up buying the tix. the concert was AMAZING! seriously. they invited this black guy, whose voice was absolutely AMAZING. he could hold the microphone at his hips and we'd still hear his powerful voice. wow. so cool. was the best impromptu worship session ever! totally gospel music. so cool. pple were actually grooving to the music!!! haha.

still tired....

this wk has been the most exhausting week of my whole entire life!!! seriously. painting the stupid set for 'a man of all seasons' (which opened today. heard it was pretty gd, but didn't see it. so not gonna pay a freakin US8bucks to go see them. rather go see a movie. haha.) studying for all the tests n being swamped with hw for expos writing again. the hw never stops! gosh. enough already. slept at like 3+++am everyday. so xin ku :(

plus i must rant about people here. oh. my. gawd. like all they think about is freakin MARRIAGE. seriously!! there's more to life than gettin married n settling down n having kids!!! arrrggh. like, the girls here come with one aim - to get married. they change their majors to those with more guys so they can find a husband faster!!

anw today was the start of parents' weekend. was ok. most pple caution me that if there ever is a time to feel homesick, this is definitely it. but i really wasn't. all the parents who came were so nice! cuz they knew some of our parents couldn't come, so we were like their children for a day. so sweet :) had a super busy day. went to classes, then drove with a few other pple to ball state university abt 45 mins away to take the chi test. which was the EASIEST chi test i have EVER taken in my whole entire life. like, the instructions were actually in english. and if u didn't know how to write a chi word, u could just write the han yu pin yin. i wish all chi tests could be like that. then i wouldn't have to suffer so much. but it was embarrassing cuz i forgot how to write SO many characters. hehe.

but the teacher was pretty impressed, cuz the rest could only speak well, they didn't really learn how to read n write. most were missionary kids from china. so hopefully can get all the credits n dun need to take chi lessons. ugh. real ironic. come to US take chi lessons. then went for orphans' night at the upland community church. haha. sounds kinda sad..like we're all orphans. but it was a BLAST. had so much fun! altho i got hit by a frisbee like TWICE on the jaw. pain!! played hockey n bball..and my fren brought her 3 younger bros. oh gosh. totally adorable. reminded me of my bros. aaahhhh. the way they played n 'fought' with each other n all. sigh. so cute. kept messing up the little boy's hair like i always do to jedi :) so grateful to taylor n mukappa for these kinda events that keep u away frm missing home cuz everyone else's parents are here.

Pics from chicago

rhona, me, norah n mango juice! how i miss mangoes. the only fruits they have in the DC are so-not-sweet apples, bananas, and mushy, squishy plums. ew.

sung ah, cartoon n me outside giordano's! the best pizza place in chicago. the cheese was like 2cm thick!!

capri, me n cartoon at chicago subway station. grossness. it was SO dirty and it STANK. sat down on a seat and got up immediately cuz it smelt of urine. oh god.

asians!

sung ah scaring dr. abebe. he's the one in charge of international students. stayed at his house during fall break. such a cool hse.

i love pics :)

my roomie n me :)

me and sung ah

cartoon n me at chicago navy pier!

international students in chicago!!

how i miss CHILLI. loved chinatown in chicago

more pics!

at our disney princess partayyyy!!!








































camping out at airband. madness.

sigh

i hate the world today. grrrr. such a bad day. not like bad stuff happened, but just...ugh!!!!! just frustrated over something stupid. something i shouldn't even be upset about!!!!! shall not talk about it. it's too stupid. i feel stupid just thinking about it. sigh. first of all, i was already crappy due to lack of sleep. slept at 3++am the past few days cuz helped cartoon paint the set of the play 'a man for all seasons'. they made her chief of painting n she had no crew. so i made up half of her crew. was fun painting the sets a dull grey. can't stand the styrofoam though. so hard to paint!! and got paint all over my fav jeans. which reminds me, all my 3 quarts are useless now! can't wear. ankles freezing. heh.
anw..last night stayed up late to finish stupid eng hw which i found out today i didn't have to hand in. argh! hate eng class to death! so pointless. running on low energy now. it's almost 1am and i dunno why am i still awake. too lazy to go brush teeth and sleep. haha.

BUT one good thing was that... I LOVE MY APPLE COM! :) just found out how to use garage band. OH MY GOSH. love it to death!! just spent like 3 hrs in the music room recording my music. am super fantabulously over the clouds happy!!! aahhhh!!!! :)

recorded the 2 songs i wrote here at taylor. added in drums and bass from the com, recorded my guit n piano playing, and even tried harmonizing too!! sounded not that bad for my first attempt. haha. shall find a way to get it online to let u guys hear soon. it's not perfect but..i'm so happy i have some place to record my music!~!~! :) now the music room's gonna be my new second home.
just looked thru my calendar. gonna be super busy all the way till exams and then it's time to go home!!!

so i'll be gettin on the plane on 15dec..prob reach s'pore arnd 16dec..and then coming back to taylor on 2jan. decided to come back for jan term. kinda regretting it now cuz i realized i forgot about de24 retreat!!! argh!!!! and the airline tickets are alrdy booked. grrrr. so stupid!!! sigh. oh well. pray for me. taking chi test on fri hoping to get credit so i dun need to learn another language. spanish does sound cool, but i'm too old to learn another lang. can't even master chi u ask me to learn spanish.

In christ alone

Thank God for...
all the blessings in my life
giving me strength when i'm weak
being my shelter and refuge
taking away pain in my life
being my comforter, the one i can always turn to
being my best friend always and forever
being the father who will never forsake me
being the Lord in my life who has great plans for me

most of all, for loving me.

~You are my supply, my breath of life
still more awesome than i know
You are my reward, worth living for
still more awesome than i know


all of You is more than enough for all of me
for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
and all i have in You is more than enough~
more than all i know, more than all i can see

CHICAGO BABY!!

back from CHICAGO!!! was there for fall break. was so awesome!! finally got OUT of the taylor bubble. ate sooo much good food. REAL chinese food in chinatown! bubble tea! indian food! the best pizza place in chicago! and most of all... went SHOPPING! best road trip EVER. gd bonding time with the rest of the international students too..love chicago! cuz it's a city! and has no cornfields around! shopping was kinda expensive though. only bought like food. haha. went to navy pier, this sorta theme park. so fun!! loved the weather there..wasn't that cold. perfect! stayed the night in this hostel place. everyone was warning us it'll be really gross but it was really ok. cuz i got the best room with 2 other girls. haha. with our own bathroom n everything. only thing was that above my bed someone wrote 'i've pissed in ur bed before'. um...ew.

then went to dr. abebe's house, which was lovely! he's the one in charge of all the international students. had devotion time..watched 'madea's family reunion'. like most of the international students are blacks so they insisted we watch it..and it was really funny. african american shows are hilarious! haha. his house was HUGE. there was a pool table n all. :) fun times!!
but back at taylor now..super tired. didn't get much sleep. plus got hw to do!! tmr's mon. ugh.

anw thank GOD for all the blessings in my life :)

Homecoming weekend

This weekend was Homecoming..it's a time when all the alumni n parents come back to Taylor n think about all the gd times they had here. haha. so nothin to do with me. except that they crowded the whole DC so had to queue pretty long for meals.

yesterday went for my first FOOTBALL GAME!! as in american football. the super violent game. i didn't get it at all. only stayed half an hour with natasha n capri. next time should go with someone who actually knows the rules!!

the only things i know abt american football:
-the guys run around in the super cold weather in spandex shorts. poor things.
-the person who gets the ball is the most poor thing. everyone piles on top of him.
-Taylor Trojans suck. really bad. they lost 49-0. but last yr they lost 74-0. so i guess they've improved.
hahaha.

went to dr. chin chang's house for dinner!!! he's this korean professor who teaches spanish at taylor. really nice guy. cute children. invited all the asians + asian lovers to his house for korean food!!!!oh.my.gosh. it was the best food ever!!! the rice was REAL rice! not the hard as rocks rice they serve us at the DC! plus there was spicy stuff. nearly died trying to stuff myself with all that wondrous food. everyone had at least 2 servings. haha. we've been deprived.

was nice to meet other asians although they were not really asians since they lived in US their whole life. played korean games. conclusion - korean games are violent. they always end up with pple hitting each other. haha. thinking about going to their korean church to look-see. they serve korean food every sun aft service!! although that's not my primary motivation. God is. haha.

today went to the well to workout!!! feel much better now. only ran for 15 mins, but.. shld take it slow first! haven't exercised since.. forever. haha. gotta go do hw soon. so behind!!!

princess partyyy~~

today was a good day! despite the fact that i didn't hear my alarm clock and missed chapel. again. heh. but expository writing continues to suck even more!!! the prof made me grp leader!! can u imagine?? i've always been the slacker in every single grp..ever! this is so not gd..now i have to actually pay attention in class!!sigh.

today we went to the Daudts' house for soup night!~the Daudt's are Mukappa's sponsors. the nicest pple on earth! they dun have children so we're all like they're children. :) so they made lovely soup and cornbread..best dinner ever! better than DC food anytime!!! after that went to someone else house for our PRINCESS PARTAYYY!! pple were dressed up in gowns n we made tiaras, necklaces, ate princessy food..haha. was so fun!! our own girls night out :) so what did we talk about? guys! what else. haha. then we watched 'the little princess'. was SUCH a sweet movie!! awwww...all girls are princesses :)

AIRBAND!

yesterday in class i gave my information speech. was nervous like heck! think i spoke too fast. hope i met the time limit!! was so scary gettin up in front of everyone and speaking. spoke on chi festivals..like chi new year, tomb sweeping day, mid autumn festival. they were kinda interested though.

ANYWAY...
IT SNOWED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was AMAZINGLY cool and super cold!! was freezing my butt off. had like FOUR layers and still literally shivering under all those clothes. and i saw this crazy guy walking around with JUST A T SHIRT. madness. anw..the snow was so prettyyy!! first time i seen falling snow..aaahhhh..can't describe it. was such a perfect moment. all the trees had nice yellowish red leaves..the snow was falling..the skies were blue. so beautiful. but the snow was too light so it melted the moment it touched the ground.but still cool.

airband was cool..we queued like 2 hours in advance. people here are as kiasu as the aunties in s'pore when the great s'pore sale starts. they camped out in tents and braved the snow since the night before! craziness. i just cut queue and found pple i knew near the front. haha. was completely squished by everyone around me when the doors opened. it was a madhouse! elbows were squashing my face left and right. and someone kept bombing the area around me, so pple were like gasping for fresh air. haha. the show was pretty cool.. mostly pple did old school or hip hop dances. but the one that won was kinda expected cuz the judges were all old. haha. so the most fav didn't win. oh well. was still a great show :)

SNOW~

finally went to church on sun! i know, it's been so long..i've kinda been putting it off, with other activities replacing it and all.guess i didn't really wanna go to another church cuz i thought they'd all be not as gd as fc :(
anw..me n sungah (frm korea) went to upland community church in the morn. woke up like super early just to go. it was only 1 hr! the whole service. sermon plus one hymn for worship. i was like..huh???worship didn't even feel like worship. but that was the traditional service, with lotsa old pple. so next wk gonna try out the contemporary one at 11am! :)

had TCA band prac ystdy. was alright. everyone was unprepared so we just randomly played a few songs. sounded not bad..but felt like it was lacking something. cuz we only have piano, acoustic guit and those bongo drums thingy. came up with a band name! temporary. nevaeh~ (heaven spelt backwards) pronounced as nerr-vei-yeah.haha. it's hard to find a gd name!!came up with so many stupid names.haha.

anw really happy with classes so far.even though their grading system is scary (80marks is considered B already) i still managed to do really well! i never cease to surprise myself. wait, GOD never ceases to surprise me :) but i do well mostly on essays. multiple choice..not so gd. heh. but..gettin abit stressed out already. the workload is constantly increasing!!ugh.

and OMG. the weather forecast says it's gonna SNOW ON THUR!!! OMG!!!!!aahhh!! it's only the beginning of autumn!! i hate indiana weather!! it's SO unpredictable! seriously!!! i'm so not ready to freeze to death. but kinda excited abt snow too..haha. these few days were foggy. and hazy. ugh.

yay!

yesterday was fun!! a bunch of us were bored, so we went to bergwall to watch a movieee..rumour has it. was kinda sick. but fun. made popcorn, and didn't burn it! berg has a record of always burning popcorn in the microwave so the fire alarm goes off and everyone has to run outta the building (even if ur bathing) with a towel and gather outside in the freezing night. and they make such a big deal outta it too. like, the fire engine comes just to put out the burning popcorn. haha.

anw, after that we had a noodle partyyy at gerig!! started out as movie night..was gonna watch another movie - pirates of the caribbean. but pple kept coming in so we were hanging out n chatting n stuff n the movie got delayed by almost 2 hrs.haha. ate tom yum noodles..lovely. so spicy though. it got so hot that we were all tearing, so we went outside in the cold night air to eat. so like my body was freezing but my mouth was on fire. haha. but it was fun. :)

today was hw day! well it was supposed to be. but i slacked. haha. supposed to go to the gym to work out, but by the time we went it was closed. oh well. not like i wanna work out anyway. haha. went to the lake to do some reading. was incredibly beautiful!!! the trees were full of reddish leaves, the sun was setting..so pretty!!! managed to read like 2 pgs. haha. super duper sick of DC food now. had cereal for lunch and dinner cuz the food is so boring!!aaahhh!! OH! but hannah found this incredible chi take out restaurant's no. shall have chi food sometime!!!soon.

can't wait for fall break!!!which is next next wk!! YAY! we're going to chicago for the weekend!! excited.gonna have REAL food and a chance to shop!~!~ i saw forever21 in a mall somewhere. nice to see a shop i actually recognize. haha. the stuff was really cheap too. can't wait for next wk!!! for our mukappa princess party sleepover!~!~ girls only. :)

everyday it's You i live for

today was WOK NITE! coolness. haha. went to help out in the dining commons. fried dumplings and chicken. totally smelt of oil afterwards. but it was oh-so-fun!!!! we decorated the place in chinese deco..wrote chi caligraphy..played chi music.haha. and i helped in the serving line. did on-the-spot stir fry for the people! felt like iron chef. haha. loved it. miss chi food SO MUCH!!

just came back from shopping! at Walmart. just gettin basic necessities. and tons of food. so i won't have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 8am to get breakfast. i got lots of chocolate too. heh. gonna get so fat!!! they call it the freshmen fiftteen. as in 15 pounds that u put on during ur 1st yr in college. haha. gotta go running sometime soon. but it's SO cold!! can't even stand walking outside, dun talk about running.

i'm better today. talked to pple at home. got encouraging emails frm joce n clar and a letter from suang! =) and i spent time worshipping the Lord. so glad i've got nothing to do this weekend but slack and relax. haven't had much time to myself in a really long while. plus the next few weeks are gonna be crazy till final exams and hol! practiced a new song in voice lesson today. was doing 'worthy is the lamb' and i've improved!! its so weird singing frm the diaphram and opening my mouth so wide, but now i can sorta reach the higher notes! so exciting. haha. now we've moved on to 'everyday'!!! its u i live for everydayyyyy..

something i've been thinking about - whether or not to come back for jan term. it's optional,and only lasts one month. but tuition fees are free. pple say its the most fun time cuz there's much lesser pple on campus. plus i might as well get rid of another general class instead of slacking in s'pore. but.....i'll be away from my family n frens again!!! only have 2 wks in dec then gotta come back again. sigh. i don't know!! and i gotta decide soon.

i realize i've become more chinese ever since i came here. haha. it's like my DUTY to educate pple about singapore and chinese pple. =)

yesterday went to small group for ethnic scholarship recipients. was the only girl there, except for the leader. had an.. interesting time discussing racism n stuff. i dun think having a multiracial church matters. what divides the body of Christ most is the different denominations. we worship the same God, but in so many different ways. i realized that even though everyone's a Christian here, not all of them have the same beliefs as me. it feels like hardly anyone believes the same things i do. someone said something about speaking in tongues..that it's passing away. WHAT the heck.

no one speaks in tongues here! i haven't spoken in tongues for months. feel like i'm gonna forget it. they think it separates the church or smth, cuz no one else would understand what ur saying. either that or they think its a special gift that only a few pple have. been trying to convince pple otherwise, but to no avail. feel like i might as well be in a public school. just so...ugh! frustrated that pple here don't seem to know the same God or worship Him the same way i do. talked with my fren the other day. either i have alot of misconceptions about God, or she does. its just hard to deal with different beliefs in the same religion.

something insignificant happened in small group, but it affected me a whole lot. one guy was talking about how he was excited to go home for the weekend, and he turned to me n was like, i can't imagine not seeing my family for so long! cuz he knew i couldn't see my family til christmas. it was just a passing comment, but i just felt like it brought me crashing down to earth. like i've been floating on clouds these few weeks, burying myself in stuff, avoiding being alone so i won't feel lonely or smth. but i just miss my family SO MUCH right now.

~Jesus i believe in You, Jesus i belong to You, You're the reason that i live, the reason that i sing~
Lord wrap Your arms around me. i need You now more than ever.

facebook addict

yeah!! go get facebook!!facebook.com. its like another version of friendster. and everyone here has been pestering me to go get it, so i did! yay. haha. found some super funny stuff in there. joined this group called 'Lee - i would live by no other name' hahahaha. its hilarious. and ' girls who love guys who play guitar' and 'i'm asian and proud of it!' =) its addictive though. took up all my time so now i'm stayin up late writing a paper. haha.

anw the pics are all of mukappa pple..during orientation and our recent retreat. not alot. i don't know who took the pics so i cant find them. haha.plus they take up so much space.

chapel today was good. they split up everyone so the freshmen were gathered in the auditorium. was a gd time of being quiet in the presence of the Lord, away from the hecticness of life for a few mins. i so love the song
~ in christ alone,my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song. this cornerstone, this solid ground, firm thru the fiercest drought and storm~ one of my fav hymns. =)

today went for a meeting for wok night! it's this thur. super excited! we're gonna cook chinese food for the whole campus!~!~ i'm making dumplings. not like i know how to or ever did it in my life. but i just volunteered. cuz volunteers dont need to wait in line for the food. hahaha. but i met someone who DOENS'T LIKE THE SMELL OF ASIAN FOOD!!! how sad. anw, we're gonna do caligraphy for wok night too. haha. anyhow write chinese words. its times like these that i wish my chi skills were better. pple depend on me to teach them how to speak and write! and i'm like, i dunno! don't ask me!! but i've taught lotsa pple how to say 'stupid' and 'i love u'. haha. basic words.

another meeting for TCA!! excited!!!! so much stuff goin on!! my band's an acoustic one, so mainly depending on ME! scary. the drums aren't the usual drumset ones, they're like tribal drums but they sound SO cool. like a real acoustic vibe. we haven't thought of a name for our band yet, but i know it'll be awesome =) plus we're gonna be so busy!!! playing for churches twice a month, for sch events, and we're goin to JAMAICA for spring break!~!~ how cool is that!! i so wanna go!! really hyped up now.

more random pics

random pics

happiness

wow.another week down. another week closer to christmas!~can really see the effects of autumn now..all the pretty trees!leaves turning red.beautiful!shall take a pic sometime soon and post it.=)

anw, airband tryouts went gd, but we didn't get in.cuz another grp of pple, broho did similar stuff to us, and they haven't gotten into airband in like, years. and since gerig won last yr, i guess they decided to let broho in and let us sit out this yr. oh well. not really disappointed cuz i didn't work that hard it at. but a couple of pple were, esp those who choreographed the dance. but, we decided next yr's gonna be awesome! although we don't know what to do.yet.

finally all the tests are OVER! and they were pretty simple too. nothing much to worry about. i think. their tests consist of lotsa multiple choice. so weird! but i've been doin pretty gd in classes. especially expository writing/eng. was kinda embarrassing on fri, cuz the professor picked mine out to show to the class as an example of what she wanted them to do. so she was like, u all should follow what benita did...blah blah..and i was like..um. but the gd thing abt the professor liking what i write is that i keep gettin full marks! so its really cool. but weird cuz most of the time i dun even understand what the article is talking about, so i just crap some stuff up, and she likes it! the weirdest one was when she gave me extra credit for this particular article i understood the least!!!

my conclusion: i have the amazing and useful ability to crap well. i love it! haha. but pple here really do think that all asians are smart. normal stereotype.

oh and i GOT INTO TCA!!! so exciting!!! hahaha. just got the news today. AAHHHH!! excited. our band consists of all girls. which is cool! but we don't have a drummer, so we gotta go find one. YAY! happy. =) we're gonna get to go to different churches and play for their worship. and for sch events too. so that's really cool!!! plus me and some girls on my floor are gonna start another girl band. girl bands ROCK! haha. i found a girl bass player. so rare!! but we gotta find a girl drummer. or guitarist, so i can do drums =) really excited now.haha.=)=)

this weekend was busy again. didn't get a chance to go to church cuz was at the MK retreat..aahhh. need to go find a church really soon..fri went to a fren's house off campus for a fall party!~!~yay. love their food!! whenever there's a party they always have chai (a type of tea) and this apple pie thingy, and cider. so yummy.

OH we just came back from MuKappa retreat. was amazingly fun!!haha.although it was out in the wilderness with bugs and nature and everything, i had lotsa fun. but the toilets were disgustingly gross. at first i thought those black dots on the wall were just dirt, but on closer look, they were FLIES! GROSS! plus i had to go at night, at like 11+pm..so me and my fren took flashlights and went. she was fearless, but i was like scared to death!! it was SO dark. completely no light AT ALL. so we were walking towards the toilets, then suddenly this BRIGHT light flashes at us, and i screamed my lungs out!! turns out it was some other campers on the other side of the field. and we heard laughing. think they saw our flashlights and decided to scare us or smth. not funny! almost gave me a heart attack!

anw.. we played games, went to the hoedown and square danced.haha.sick of square dancing alrdy. pple here always do that. guess their culture is the western cowboy type. but there were these little kids square dancing. so adorable! but me and a few others got sick of dancing so we created our own dance behind everyone else and disturbed them cuz we were so noisy.haha. then we had a bonfire and s'mores!!! was the 2nd time i got to eat s'mores. they are so delicious! its like graham crackers, plus roasted marshmallows over the fire, and chocolate. yummy!!! it's like some american tradition to do whenever there's a bonfire. then we sat arnd the fire, singing worship songs. was amazing. and some pple shared their testimonies.

i helped play guit for worship in the morn. kinda weird, their style of worship. they just end abruptly, at the end of the last song, so it kinda feels like there's no closure in the worship. but oh well. OH! and i climbed a tree!!!hahaha. was the scariest thing ever. thought i was gonna fall down and die. and my korean fren came to the conclusion that all s'pore pple are clean freaks because of me.haha.the bus ride back was fun, but back to reality and i realized i have TONS of hw to do by tmr!! argh.

oh! and i taught peter, this guy from france, to speak chinese.HAHA. was hilarious!! seriously. try to imagine a french guy speakin chi. funny!! he learnt to say i love u, i'm from france, how are u, and my name is peter.hahah.the funniest was his version of 'ni hao ma'. his head would do this bobbing up and down thing, so it was like, at the 'ma' part, his head would go up and his eyes would pop out cuz he kept pronouncing the tones wrongly.haha. so amusing to see ang mohs speak chinese.

beautiful one

aahhh..i love the song i'm auditioning with! so in love with it.
~beautiful one, i love you
beautiful one, i adore
beautiful one, my soul must sing..~
hand pain from all that guitar pract.

something exciting - OUR DANCE GOT IN!!! we're to perform in chapel sometime..no idea when. but just got the news that we're in! can't believe it. thought they hated our dance the way they were glaring at us. freaking out now. no way i'm gonna dance some ethnic dance in front of the whole sch!!!never thought we'd actually get in!

so airband's taking over my life right now. practice, practice, practice every single night till midnight. lack of sleep. but its fun. but so hard to mouth the words and dance at the same time!auditions are tmr..hope we get in!put in so much work alrdy!but it was gd..got to bond with lotsa pple from my dorm.although its mostly freshmen who are in airband.

getting into the routine of classes. not dreading them so that's good. we're actually reading this bk, 'living your calling' in my communications class. how cool is that? having that kinda bk for a textbook! but chem still sucks. especially chem lab. cuz me and my partner are complete idiots. we always end up doing everything wrong and getting inaccurate results so we're always the last to leave the lab. and no wonder. i'm a communications major and she's an eng writing major. no science for us!

i need chocolate!

first day of autumn~

today's supposedly the first day of autumn. and its nice and sunny! but kinda windy and cold too. the weather here is weird. one minute it can be sunny, the next the wind is blowing and its freezing. still not really used to it. and alex (from my floor) and i finally decided on a song to play for the TCA auditions! its called 'beautiful one' and we're doing the jeremy camp version. its a great song!!really excited.gonna prac really hard.but not really worried about getting in or not, cuz i realized i'm super busy, and this will make my schedule crazier.haha.so i'll just audition and leave it up to the Lord.=)

anw, just got back 1 hr plus ago from our brother n sister floor retreat..was really fun=) got to know new pple plus bonded with the girls on my floor, so it was cool. supposed to have a bonfire but it was pouring. so we played cards and like 6 rounds of mafia.haha.such a funny game! then we had worship in the sanctuary, led by the guys, and surprisingly they sang song i knew!happy.cuz usually the hymns they sing i dunno.

super tired by then. hardly gettin much sleep this whole wk. watched 'glory road' in the movie room and fell asleep. then woke up arnd 3am and got really energized.and watched 'breakfast club'.its an awesome movie!!loved it.

so..back now.gotta go back to studyin for tests next wk.boring!!but going shopping later at 3, so yay!!and then dinner at solomon's house (the guy in charge of international students). heard his hse is amazing so looking forward to it=)

OH! and happy belated bdae to me.haha. THANKS for the wonderful presents that i got!! especially from DE tribe!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!~ the package made my day. felt so loved and remembered. haha. yesterday i got to talk to e7 and my family. so really happy. plus pple on my floor wished me happy bdae. and charity n katie made a card + necklace for me. and cartoon was the funniest. she went to the TU bookstore to get me a prez cuz there was no where else to buy stuff.haha.but i still appreciate it. =)=)=)

=)

I, am going crazy!!!!super duper busy everyday.no time to breathe.seriously.am totally overcommitted. cuz everything just sounds so fun!!i wanna be involved in every event!! haha.

had auditions for chapel ministry of the arts on mon.me and some international girls formed a dance team n did this ethnic indian-y dance to a gospel version of 'awesome god'.haha.dun laugh.and dun try to imagine me dancing.least of all indian dance.not funny.but we practiced SO hard, and they made me stand in front!stress.not like i'm gd or anything.and the pastor in charge gave us this glare, like why are u dancing, dun u know dancing's prohibited in the Life together covenant that Taylor has?(which is a really stupid rule)so..dun think we'll get in since he hates dancing.ugh.my toes really itch to jump whenever we sing fast songs in chapel.but i can't.cuz dancing's against the rule!

anw i got package in the mail today!~!~from suanggita n jocceeee!happiness.love gettin stuff in the mail.thanks SO much for the wonderful bdae prez!love u both!wasn't really lookin forward to my bdae actually..first time not celebrating it in s'pore.kinda weird.but will be goin on a retreat with our brother n sister floor on my bdae, so..would be fun =) and another retreat next wk with MuKappa. and next wk i have like 4 tests, one paper due, and auditions for airband and Taylor Christian Artists (TCA). craziness. haven't started on anything! anw TCA is this organization where they put indiv musicians in bands n they play for sch events n stuff..so..hope i get in!anyone with song ideas, tell me!

so everything's fun.except classes.chem is boring the heck out of me.most of the stuff is sec4 revision which i have absolutely no interest in whatsoever.ugh.but the teacher's nice though.he lets me sleep in class.but the result of that is there was a quiz on fri which i didn't know abt, and i totally failed it.haha.oh well.here they expect u to read the syllabus.come on! who reads the syllabus??its just a piece of paper we toss aside n find again at the end of the yr during spring cleaning.
foundations of christian thought is pretty cool.get to learn abt different worldviews vs christianity (of cuz christianity wins).

public speaking used to be terrifying.but its pretty fun now.the pple are really funny!!and i did the object speech last wk, and used the song Jesus, lover of my soul to represent my past, present and future.and i actually SANG in front of the whole class of 20+ pple with my guit.craziness.it didn't occur to me that i was actually gonna do it until the very last min.so i panicked for a second n then went in front to deliver my speech.haha.nervous!!but when i watched the tape of myself yesterday w my professor, i looked calm!she said i was confident and calm up there, and i was like, whaaat???i thought i was shaking like a leaf!but evidently no one else thought so.so i got a 9/10!coolness.the only thing i could improve on was to speak louder.heh.like i don't know that already.its kinda hard to be understood sometimes.need to adopt their accent for certain words to be understood.but hey, i'm still a s'porean at heart.=)

finally

It's 12am and here I am, creating my new blog after much persuasion by everyone. Falling asleep soon, but kinda excited about this. No idea what to write though. Except that this week's been crazy, and it's gonna get crazier. Got so much to do and so little time! Feel like I've got no space to breathe. Swamped with hw and activities. I think I'm overcommitted. No more chapel band for me! At least not this semester. Have to wake up at the break of dawn at 9am tmr for chapel! promise to post all my pics really soon! Going to bed now to rid myself of these cravings for chilli. don't you just love all this black? =)