Lazy days for sick people

So I've been out of it for the past few days. A mild sore throat escalated to a full-blown flu within days, and period pains made me want to tear my uterus out of my body once and for all. No more period, no possible pregnancy torture = two birds with one stone. I wonder if anyone's really done that before.
Hmmm. 30 more years till this is all over.

Anyway, I've been drinking so much tea, I don't think I've ever drank this much tea this past year like I have this past week.

Peppermint tea. Totally soothes the throat and the stomach.

Apple cinnamon spice. Full of natural goodness and sweetness there's no need to add sugar. Got a packet of it from the Fremantle market and totally loved it.

So... since I've had a bunch of time in between blowing my nose and doubling over in pain, I've watched two Survivor seasons and the entire first season of How I Met Your Mother. 

The flame of my past obsession with Survivor has been rekindled. I used to watch every single episode of every single season, but then college came, and I didn't own a TV in my room, and other things just took priority.

So I watched Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, which was pretty much THE best season EVER. There were faces I recognized, but half of them I had never seen before. I totally rooted for the villains because they were wildly interesting and wonderfully manipulative - totally great entertainment. And it was very fitting that a villain won; the heroes were a little too bland and spineless in comparison.

Then I watched Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites, which was the second best season ever. Pitting experienced familiar faces against starstruck naive fans? Hilarious.

And then I started on the first season of How I Met Your Mother. I'd always heard great things about this TV show, how it's humorous and entertaining and all, and they were all true. I mean, I've seen a few episodes here and there, but now that I've watched it from the beginning, it all makes sense finally. One episode totally reminds me of The Hangover, too. Four more seasons to go!

Burn wounds

Burn wounds on my sad muffins, which are hard as rocks now. Even Jedi refuses to go near them. That says a lot, coming from the boy who once licked ice cream off the ground because he didn't want to waste one bit of it.

Burn wound on my arm - one of the various scars scattered around my hands and arms. It doesn't look like much, but it hurt like hell when my arm grazed the scorching lights glaring down on the pizzas. I had to 'ice' it for an hour with rotating cans of Solo (Australia's version of lemonade) so the numbness would overwhelm the pain.

Hopefully the scars go away, because Jedi showed me his battle wounds (they look like he just got them yesterday) and told me he got them months ago.

Work and Pain

Since I forgot to write up a thanksgiving yesterday, I’ll do two today.



Yesterday, I went to the Sarpino’s office to help out with the business’ bookkeeping and accounting. I sorted through messy files, entered data into the computer, wrote down a bunch of numbers, and most of all, realized I never want to be an accountant. Ever. Just thinking about data entry and numbers gives me a headache. And all those big words… About legal stuff and banking stuff and business stuff… I don’t think I could set up my own business. Too much detail that I couldn't care about. I’m just happy to be the writer and let others handle the boring side of the business.

So I’m thankful I chose the right major in college, because I never once regretted it. People always say the average person switches majors at least 5 to 7 times in college, but I never even thought about the possibility. So yes, I’m definitely glad to be holding the degree that suits me to a tee.

Today, I woke up with a familiar blinding pain in my abdomen.
Hello period, you’re right on time, every three weeks you haunt me relentlessly like a ghost.
Well, it’s okay. This time, I will try to be thankful that at least I can feel pain, and I’m not numb in the physical sense, as well as the emotional or mental sense. I think one of the scariest things that could happen to a person is to become numb… To pain, suffering, hurt, sorrow, rejection, anger, emotions. Because once you’ve reached that stage, there’s no telling what evils you’re capable of. I mean, a person who’s numb won’t feel any remorse or horror for their actions, and who knows what they’ll do then. I think that’s what happened to most of the murderers and criminals in the world. The idea of another human being hurting or suffering just doesn’t affect them anymore, and so that’s why they’re able to dish out such cruel and grotesque punishments even on innocent people.

It’s sick, really, and sometimes it makes me nauseous, hearing about all the preposterous stories about abominations going on around the world. It also sparks off a tiny bit of curiosity in me, because you really have to wonder what it was that made those people the way they are today. Was it a nightmarish childhood? An abusive parent? Being rejected all their life? There must be something significant that happened in each and every one of their lives that caused them to become to numb, because I don’t believe anyone could just wake up one day and decide to go on a killing spree. That kind of monstrous behavior takes years of shaping and molding, propelled by all kinds of pain and suffering in the person’s life.

Actually, this is kind of interesting. Maybe I should’ve been a psychologist. That was my initial idea anyway, before entering into college… Until I realized that to obtain a psychology degree one had to take several math classes, such as statistics, and so I hurriedly pushed the idea out of my brain immediately, because the trauma of going through statistics in junior college was still fresh in my mind.

But I do wish I could read people better, so I could interpret things in between the lines and understand what their words really mean. I’m a little oblivious to things sometimes. I guess it’s just my apathetic nature showing forth. And yes, I do wish I wasn’t so indifferent. A teacher once called me that in primary school – indifferent. I had to look it up in the dictionary, and when I realized it meant unconcerned and having no interest, I was tremendously indignant. But now I think she might have been right. Maybe if I were less apathetic my life would be going places already. But for now I’m just content with drifting along and doing whatever…

I wonder why I don’t have the drive and determination like some other people. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in a comfortable home and I’ve had things handed to me all my life. Like a good friend once said to me, ‘Blessings always reign down on your life.’ And while I laughed it off at the time, I think she was probably right, because I’ve been so blessed with good grades and wonderful opportunities all my life even though I don’t deserve any of it. So I guess I’ve been taking things for granted. Time to get off the couch and get my hands dirty.

In Christ Alone

ok, past few days, been really happy. even on cheesy valentine's day. cuz received lotsa chocs and cards! and 3 e-cards from my mummy n daddy! haha. they so cute. but today..depressed again. ughhhhh. pms. in pain. really wish i can break through in this aspect of my life. been haunting me for so long.

so..yesterday it all started again. feels like a vicious cycle. and this time it was worse, because it was my friend who said it. she was like, i dont get the church in america. who lifts up their hands in church?? and i was completely shocked. i was like, i do!!
sighhhh. i'm battling this... different denomination thing all over again. i hate it. why do we have to be divided? we should be united as a body in Christ, but this issue has been plaguing the body of Christ for so long and no one's doing anything about it. not like we can change anything anyway.

then..another friend, or friends rather. they were like, women shouldn't be holding leadership positions in the church. it's just not biblical. and i was like..ahhhh..Lord are You trying to test me or something? Now i'm like, it is really biblical that women cannot be leaders? then what's the Lord doing? putting all these dreams and grand ideas in my head, making me wanna serve Him, and then now i find out i can't. well it's probably not impossible, but it'll be a heck of a try. trying to fight my way through, to prove to these people that women can do it, that we're just as equally called to serve the Lord. feel like we as women have so much more work cut out for us. like we have to do much better than guys just to be seen as equal among them. so much pressure! now that i think about it, i've never seen a female worship leader in chapel either. great. am i supposed to be the only one who believes in myself and in God's power to work through me and use me?

can someone please tell me the verses for lifting our hands..for women serving in church..if there even are any..