A turning point in life?

This past week, I watched the movie "From Paris With Love" with my brother, and it was rather mediocre, as far as action movies go. The plot was predictable, the acting was uninspiring, and the dialogue left much to be desired. But I was still entertained, even if it was because of John Travolta's bold and brazen character. I don't think I've ever seen him in a role quite like that before, because his most memorable roles (to me, at least) were the dancing dude from Grease and the man-turned-woman on Hairspray, and so to watch him act all arrogant and unrefined was pretty amusing. 

Anyway, movie aside, the reason I mentioned the film was because there was a particular scene in which Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ girlfriend-turned-spy/suicidal-terrorist reveals her motives for joining the dark side. She tells him that all her life she never knew what her ultimate purpose was, and she never had some sort of final goal she wanted to achieve during her time on earth. But one day, she met this religious guy, and it was right at that moment that she knew. She understood her life’s calling. She claimed that was the turning point in her life where everything in the past didn’t matter, because she acknowledged, without a doubt, her purpose in life. And from then on she worked toward fulfilling the reason she was put on this earth.

That pretty much blew my mind. It was incredible. Intense and thought provoking. I might be the only person who appreciated that scene, but hey, it somewhat redeemed an otherwise C-grade movie for me.

It got me thinking: Is there such a thing as a turning point in life?  
A clearly defined moment where we turn our backs on our past and look forward to the future with a new and heightened sense of purpose? An instance of absolute significance that undermines everything we ever believed in and gives us a distinct zeal for life?

I have no idea. Maybe it’s one definite moment, maybe it’s a process, maybe it’s a lifelong journey toward discovering our life’s calling. But whatever it is, I sure would like to determine mine, because I’ve been feeling rather aimless lately, seeing as how I am a fresh graduate and my first 'job' right out of college is working in a pizza place in Perth, Australia, voted one of the most boring places on the face of the earth (by me). 

I just think there's got to be more to life than simply settling for whatever career you fall into. And yes, I think my generation and my parents' generation are worlds apart. Their mindset is to work to earn money and provide for their family -- very practical. Our mindset is to find a career we are passionate about and love doing, no matter how low the salary is or how bad the working conditions are -- very idealistic. But I don't mind being idealistic, because I'd rather live my life with purpose. I'd rather live in a cardboard box and do something I absolutely love everyday than settle into a cubicle and waste my life away earning big bucks but not enjoying any moment of it.


So yes, my goal right now is to find a goal for my life. Because you know what they say, a person without purpose is like a log of wood drifting into the vastness of the ocean until it is completely lost and overwhelmed by the water.

Okay, no one really says that. I just made it up. But you know what I mean. I just want to unearth my purpose in life, if that’s not too much to ask for.

Life in Perth

Hello, familiar countryside. Otherwise better known as Perth, Australia.

I have to say I didn't know what to expect, coming to Perth. It was just something to do, to get away from the humidity of Singapore, an excuse to give to others when they ask me what I'm going to do with my life now that I'm a college graduate. But it's good that I didn't have any expectations, because this place would have crushed them. It's a little scary, the way Perth reminds me of Upland, Indiana, the place I recently escaped from and swore I would never return to (unless it was for the weekend to visit good friends).

My first thought when we were driving from the airport to the house was, "This place looks suspiciously like Indiana!" With its terrace houses, spread out properties, tons of abandoned land, even an animal or two wandering around in the grass along the road. It's just my luck - to go halfway around the world only to end up in Upland, Indiana, No. 2., only this time it's worse because I don't have friends here and I'm forced to work at a pizza place SIX days a week, 9am to 5pm, getting paid by my own parents, which is pointless cause it's like family money. And then everything here closes at 5pm SHARP, even the sun says goodnight and goes to sleep, and so I'm left with the entire evening and night to myself. The TV has a grand total of FOUR channels, I didn't bring any of my movie DVDs with me, all my favorite TV shows have ended their seasons in May, so yeah.

I have to find something productive to do with my time. Like frantically searching the web to find something that will get me away from here in the fall. Because this is only temporary. No way am I staying here until next year, much less for the rest of my life. I'm in my twenties, for crying out loud, I need to be somewhere exciting, where I can meet crazy new people and go on adventures and take risks. New York City, anyone?

For the 100th time, how I wish I had a friend who would travel the world with me (backpacking) and work in different countries to make money for our adventures. WHY DONT I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. Why are all my friends going straight from school to work? Doesn't anyone want to explore this great big world and experience things beyond their comfort zone???

Anyway, I'm not bitter or anything. I don't regret coming here. I love the cold weather, because it means no more sweating profusely every second of every day, like in Singapore. Unless I'm on the elliptical in the house, which I'm tremendously grateful for, because it means something else to do at night, plus it's good exercise in the comfort of home. Also, since I have bundles of time every night, I will be learning how to cook! Healthy lifestyle, here I come! And of course I'm happy to be spending time with my mom and brothers, whom I haven't seen since last year. In some ways they've changed, in many ways they haven't. My little brothers are all grown up now. Makes me feel a little old.

So... During my time here, however long I'm staying, I will accomplish my goals!

Goal #1: Eat healthy and workout everyday. (Unless it's sunday, then maybe I will take a break)

Goal #2: Make money from Sarpino's and maybe find another job so I can make money from other people... And make enough of it that I can move to New York City or somewhere by next summer.

Goal #3: Take a class or find a new hobby to occupy the ridiculous amounts of free time I have. Life is too short to sleep.

Senior Reflection

This is my senior reflection for the senior show. We were required to write a story capturing our passions and aspirations, our 4 years of experience at Taylor, and our hopes and dreams and how we want to impact culture for the glory of God.

So here's what I came up with...

I love to write. It’s as simple as that. Writing allows me to express my thoughts and opinions about anything under the sun. The little joys of life inspire and motivate me to leave my own unique handprint on the world.

When I was young, I aspired to be a teacher so I could educate others and help shape their character and worldview. That dream fizzled out when I discovered the joys of playing the guitar and drums – I wanted to be a rock star. But after countless ‘jamming’ sessions that left my head pounding and my ears protesting, I came to the conclusion that I was not cut out for the grueling ‘rock ‘n roll’ lifestyle. So I decided to be a worship leader instead. That way, I could utilize my passion for music and still keep my hearing intact 30 years down the road.

I composed numerous songs and thought I was well on my way to fulfilling my purpose in life, when it hit me – I found greater pleasure in writing the songs than in performing them. That revelation set me on the path of writing, which opened up a whole new world filled with all kinds of possibilities.

My desire is to provide light-hearted entertainment through my words, as well as impact the lives of others by evoking emotion and provoking thought. I enjoy writing about my passions: entertainment, fashion, travel, culture, and food. I have worked for a diverse variety of companies, such as an online lifestyle magazine, a talent agency, a university newspaper, and a matchmaking agency. Each experience has been truly beneficial and eye opening. I wish to contribute to culture by crafting compelling stories that will speak profoundly to and leave a lasting impression on the hearts and minds of others.

My four years at Taylor have been an incredible rollercoaster ride of laughter and tears, convictions and doubts, successes and disappointments, and breakthroughs and setbacks. Every experience has taught me something new. I learned to step out of my comfort zone and reach out to a world in need. I found my own distinctive voice and style of writing. I came to appreciate the beauty of diversity. I built friendships with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Through the ups and downs of life, God is the one constant I can always depend on. To others, I may be just another writer, but I believe God has given me this gift so I may be a blessing to the world. I want to live my life in such a way that, at the end of the day, I can say I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.

Writing is my way of communicating to the world who I am, what I believe in, and what I want to achieve.

Party people... and life goals

FUN FUN FUN!! I'm having so much fun in school, now that I've found like-minded party people here WITH CARS!!! Why didn't I meet them sooner??? Will have to party every weekend until graduation - 3 more weeks! Ridiculous. I guess people here aren't that uptight after all.

We went to Indianapolis this past weekend, twice in a row. Indiana is so cheap compared to everywhere else like NYC or LA. Cover charge? $5 measly dollars, or even free! Nothing compared to LA where it's like at least $20! Although it wasn't as fun as LA or NYC, it was still decent. The people we went with were pretty fun and crazy :)
I think it's funny how we're all buddy-buddy in the club, and then when we see each other around campus, we're like practically strangers, almost too ashamed to even say hi for fear of people asking how we know each other. Only at Taylor do people have to do this (and secretly buy alcohol)! But it's okay. THREE MORE WEEKS!!!!! (plus finals week)

Saturday was a bit awkward initially, because my friend invited this guy who likes me (seriously, I should just move to Africa and find a husband. why do black guys always like me???!), but i didn't really like him more than just a friend, so I didn't really know what to do. But in the end it was pretty fun 'cause he was cool.

Okay, anyway. BIG NEWS! I have some semblance of a plan for my life...............

I AM APPLYING TO TEACH ENGLISH IN KOREA/JAPAN/HONGKONG!!!!!

Can you imagine me teaching.... anything? Don't laugh, I can't either. I feel like I would give all the kids 'A' just because they're cute. haha. And I don't even have a teaching certificate/degree! But apparently they're so desperate for English native speakers they'll take anyone with a bachelor's degree in anything who's a US citizen, which is ME! So yeah. I will apply and wait anxiously. It's not like I'm giving up on my dream to go to NYC, I'm just taking a gap year. This concept of a gap year is increasingly popular among Americans, especially with the crappy economy now. So I take one year off between college and work, go do something good with my life, discover myself, make money, save money, and then move to NYC next year! Sounds good huh.

Have no idea if it's what God wants for me, but I figure He'll open/close the door. So if I get a job teaching English, I'm thinking He wants me to go. SO EXCITED! Although I wish I spoke Korean/Japanese/Cantonese. It will be a challenge, but it's exciting. We'll see what happens :)

Counting down the days

I can't believe graduation is exactly TWO MONTHS AWAY. I've thought about that day ever since I was a measly freshman at Taylor, and now it's actually almost here. Back in 2006, when I just came to the States, 2010 seemed like something in the great distance, something that would never reach me. But here it is, and we're already in March. I seriously don't understand how come time flies by so quickly. How can it be I'm already turning 23 this year? Where did all the time go???

I guess I'm starting to freak out a little, especially hearing other people talk about job offers they have and places they want to live after graduation. It's hard to commiserate with those who don't have jobs as yet, because even if they end up jobless after graduation, they can at least go home and stay with their parents for a while. I, on the other hand, have to find a dang job NOW or else it's goodbye career, hello waitressing (to make ends meet in some city) or hello pizza shop in Perth (and I did not slog four years in college just to end up working at a pizza shop).

In all honesty, I am quite prepared to move to NYC/LA/Chicago/San Diego/San Francisco/Minneapolis/Colorado Springs/Pittsburgh/any major city in the USA and live in a cramped apartment and slave away at some restaurant just to have a shot at chasing my dreams. So many people have told me I should just move out to wherever I want to live, and find a job that puts food on the table first. And then keep looking for jobs I'm actually interested in. Which, I guess, makes sense, because you don't just land that coveted job right out of college. You have to network and climb your way up first. So I really don't mind doing that. Although I think my parents would freak if I moved to NYC and got a job as a shoe salesperson. But... sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Life is all about taking chances, right? We only have one life, we should live it to the fullest.

I guess I'm a little worried about finding a job, getting a place to stay, making enough money to make ends meet, making friends, finding a community, getting plugged into a church, and all that stuff that comes when you move to a new, unfamiliar place. We talked about things that will change once we leave Taylor in class today, and I realize I'm probably never going to experience this sort of tight-knit community on such a large scale ever again (unless I work for some Christian organization). People in the real world aren't as nice, they don't smile at you on the street, they don't offer you a hand when you fall on the stupid ice. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm not sure if Taylor has prepared me for that. I can't help but feel a little overprotected in this tiny bubble of corn.

Today in class we also talked about life to-do lists. And it got me thinking, because I have no idea. I know what I want to do with my life next week, and the week after next, meaning I only have short-term plans. But what about in the next 10 years? What do I want to see myself accomplish by then?

So I thought up a list of to-dos for my life in the next decade:

-Travel the world and (perhaps) write about it
-Move to New York City and work for a major magazine publication
-Make a lasting, positive impact on those around me
-Have fun and go crazy and then finally settle down

I don't know. I just thought of it today, so I'll probably be adding other things to this list. And I don't know if my plans match up with God's plans for my life, but I'm not super attached to any of them, and if He wishes to change them, He's welcome to do so. Right now, my number one priority is just to GET A JOB.

Okay, off to apply for more jobs.

What to do with my life

The most commonly asked question now that I'm a senior is,
"so... what do you wanna do after you graduate?", which is just another version of the ever-popular
"so... what do you wanna do with your life?"

But the answer is always the same - I don't know, I have no idea whatsoever, and if anyone has any suggestions, let me know.


Seriously. I've thought about all the things I can do, and there's just endless possibilities and I can't narrow it all down to ONE job. I would love to travel and write, or be a screenwriter for films, or work for a casting agency, or write for an entertainment/fashion magazine... so many things, and I just don't know how to choose! Sometimes I just wish God would write my future in the clouds, spell it out clearly for me to see, and then I could just see it, understand it, and follow, no questions asked.

But this whole doubt, uncertainty, anxiety, fearful thing that I have going on now... not cool. I guess I have mixed feelings about the future. On one hand, it's exciting and wonderful and filled to the brim with all kinds of amazing promises. But on the other hand, it's also paved with intimidating and terrifying possibilities that scare me half to death.

The reason why I'm on this subject is because we were talking about it in Senior Capstone class. We had to prepare for mock interviews, 4 lucky people out of our 13-person class got to be observed by everyone as they got interviewed by the professor pretending to be a potential employer. It was a good learning experience. But anyway, we also got to share our job objectives and what kind of jobs we're looking for after graduation. And just hearing others share... it really made me think. Because everyone was like, 'I'm looking for a job with a non-profit organization, because I want to go into ministry, and help the needy and the poor, and serve Jesus, etc.'

And I don't know why, but that just made me feel like the scum of the earth, simply because I had different intentions and a different path in mind for my life. I feel like God isn't calling me to non-profit, and the only reason I've been looking at non-profit organizations is because I felt like I had to, since everyone else seemed to be doing it. But in reality, I don't want to. As much as I support non-profit organizations and I think it's awesome that people are working for such great causes, I simply don't feel called to it. I want to work for a secular company. A travel, lifestyle, entertainment, fashion, beauty, or food magazine. And somehow that makes me feel extremely guilty, like I should be going into ministry instead of surrounding myself with materialistic, corrupted people.

So that's what I've been struggling with, especially because people here are so... Christian-y. They all want to go into ministry full-time, which is great, but I've come to the conclusion that it's not for me. And the only reason I would go into it is because I've no other choice. I really feel like God has called me to work in a secular publication, but sometimes I just feel so... superficial, like I'm a disappointment to Taylor University just because I'm not using my gifts for God's ministry. I tell people that I would love to work for a magazine like People, and they're like, 'that's so you!' and they give me this look that says, 'but... you're kidding, right? why would you work for a corrupted magazine like that that doesn't promote any good values?' And that hurts, because it makes me feel like people think of me as superficial and materialistic and that's why I would want a job like that.

But I'm not kidding. I mean, if we all shy away from secular publications just because we're scared or we don't wanna mix with those people or we don't wanna waste our gifts on something trivial like entertainment or fashion, then who will be a testimony to those people?? Who will bring light into their lives?? Who will lead them to the truth?? Do they not deserve to know the redemptive love of Christ?? Are they not as worthy to hear the Gospel as poor, undernourished African children dying of AIDS?? I mean, seriously. We need to go out into the marketplace and minister to the people too. They have empty hearts and hungry souls too. They need God too!

So even though I know it will be hard and there will be tons of temptations, after hearing a friend of mine voice the same doubts I had, I was so encouraged, because she had come to accept her calling. And she was okay with people 'looking down' on her just 'cause she wanted to work for a secular company. I really liked what she said about even though she knows there will be lots of temptation to fall into the ways of the world, it is often through our weakness that God builds our strengths. That was so comforting to me, because that was exactly what I was worried about. I know myself, I know how easily influenced I am, and I know I will fall into temptation. But you know what? I also know that God will be there to keep my feet firmly on the ground, pull me out of the darkness when I can't see the light, and make me stronger when I learn from my mistakes and overcome my weaknesses.

So yes. I want to work for a secular entertainment/lifestyle/travel/fashion magazine. That is what I am passionate about, that is what I think God is calling me to, and that is where I believe God will open doors. And I will just have to learn to not be ashamed of that anymore. So call me shallow, call me foolish. Even though what I want to do with my life may seem insignificant, compared to a brave doctor curing diseases in Africa, I believe that God will somehow use my gifts and talents to influence people, touch lives, and bring a change in the world.

One and a half months later...

Time flies
So excited for all the plans my friends and i have.
Six flags, Universal Studios (yayy for seasonal pass!), Road trip to LAS VEGAS, Chilling at Venice Beach, Trying out lots of different restaurants, Thanksgiving meals, Black Friday shopping madness, Christmas shopping at outlet malls, Halloween madness, and tons more premieres and free movies!!! -- All this to do in only 2 months! :)

Film Geek night

Figures at a film program they'd have a movie night called 'film geek night.' i went for the first time on friday, just 'cause they were showing WOLVERINE on the big screen in class. LOVE that movie. can't understand why all guys hate it. but most girls love it and i'm one of them. superhero movies = awesome.

Venice Beach

Saturday was kinda chilly, but we still headed to Santa Monica for some much needed Panera Bread!! One of the 5 Paneras in the entire California! haha i don't actually know, but it seems that way, because California just has something against chain restaurants.
And then on to Venice Beach, right next to Santa Monica Beach. but Venice was WAY better. it had a skateboarding park, TONS of cute little shops along the boardwalk, a pier with people fishing... and we saw lots of people surfing in the cold waters, AND dolphins doing flips in the ocean right by us!!! it was so cool. we stayed till the sunset, and it was beautiful. although there were lots of people smoking weed, it felt kinda like Jamaica actually, for some reason. but i love that beach. totally going back to go cycling and shopping!!

Koreatown

We failed at our second attempt to go karaoke-ing at Koreatown. haha. they said a minimum wait of 30 mins, so we just headed into the Korean cafe next door and ate till we burst of happiness (and still managed to bring back leftovers).
Why is it that the korean and jap food here is so authentic and delicious but the chinese food sucks and is totally catered to americans??? i've tried 3 chinese places and have yet to find a decent one. really disappointing, all that greasy food.

Casting call

Sunday was another casting call... this time the pressure's on, because we're casting for our huge Hollywood Production Workshop class, and we HAVE to find the right people, if not we're screwed. so... only like 3 old men turned up for our elderly british man role, and 3 cute little boys turned up for our little kid role. most of them were sick at the last minute. sigh! need to do another casting call.

Jay Leno show

Today i went to the Jay Leno show with faith and brent!! it was fun. some people cancelled on their tickets, so we snapped them up! and we got there an hour early too, so we managed to get into the soundstage! and sat RIGHT IN FRONT of the stage, SECOND ROW. we discussed it and decided that they liked us because we were young and full of energy. 'cause when the show started, we had to run up to the stage and crowd around Jay. and i got to high-five him, so that was pretty cool!
The guest star was this comedian named Dana Carvey, he was funny. and then Justin Timberlake appeared via satellite to answer 10 random questions. i was like, i see JT on the screen ALL THE TIME, i wanna see him in PERSON, not on the screen again!!! but he was in Vegas, sadly enough. he was so cute though. and brent got a free 'jay leno show' t-shirt. the crowd was pretty old, but REALLY energetic. everyone was clapping and dancing and having fun. a day off well spent :)

back to work tomorrow!

All's well ends well

I'm recovered!!!! or at least halfway there. SO HAPPY i ate a cookie today and didn't cough my lungs out.

Work

thank God i got better because i had to go to work on friday, and i didn't wanna be forced to go home again because of my germ-infested body. but i was fine throughout the entire day, except for one or two ridiculous bouts of coughing. YAY i made it through! and i actually got to do some productive work in the office.

i did some filing, then wrote practice breakdowns for characters in a new upcoming TV pilot called... maybe i shouldn't name it, for confidentiality reasons. so anyway i read the script for the first episode and summarized the characters. i was pretty eager to read the script to see what kind of story, among the millions that get sent in everyday, gets picked to actually be aired on TV. BUT... it was such a disappointment. the worst script in the world. well, maybe not. but it was pretty awful. sounded like the lamest story about a boring character that i didn't give two hoots about. i'm pretty sure no one i know would tune in for a show like that. but i guess it caught the network's attention 'cause it's being produced! really have no clue why.

and then i got to do some phone work! i called a whole list of people in the 'reject' pile -- those who sent in their resume and headshot to be (hopefully) represented by my company, but got rejected. for some of them, i had no idea why. they were STUNNING, like seriously very good-looking. i had a very enjoyable time gazing at their photos while calling them. and they had a reasonable amount of experience, some even in popular movies and TV shows! so i don't know why they got rejected. BEATS ME. but anyway, i called them all, some went to voicemail, some answered, but all were generally SUPER nice and thanked me for bothering to pick up the phone to inform them of the news, even though it was bad news. i guess in this town it's understood if you don't get a callback, you're not wanted. harsh reality.

after that there was nothing else to do, so i caught up on homework reading and worked on my script some. really proud of my improvements. i'm one step closer to understanding my characters in greater depth and carving out the plot! in screenwriting class, my prof asked if i was always a 'good student.' i was like... yeah... i guess i am. since i always like to get my work done in advance. although i've been slacking since i got here. there's just something about California that screams VACATION, not STUDY HARD. but he seemed pretty impressed by my work, although i only did it the night before. haha. but i'm determined to work hard now. he really made me feel like i was wasting a great opportunity, being here, because i wasn't making full use of the class to learn.

so i'm gonna spend more time thinking, living and breathing my screenplay. because he said we're competing with film students from UCLA, USC, and all kinds of Ivy League schools. and these people are CRAZY passionate about their work. so we have to be like that too, if we ever wanna make it in this town. i guess that kinda made me think. i'm not crazy passionate about anything, really. i'm fine with anything, as long as it's fun and has something to do with writing. i think. that's why i'm having second thoughts about graduate school. why study something you're not sure u wanna do? and compete alongside all these HARD CORE students who LOVE what their doing to the point where they worship it???

and then i took the bus back, and would ya know it, a fat annoying old man, who felt the need to make weird comments every so often, sat next to me. and took up one and a half seats, leaving me with a measly half. it was an awkward hour, made more uncomfortable by the awful brakes on the bus and the freezing cold air con. couldn't wait to bolt out of there.

Film shoot

Awoke at the crack of dawn to help Faith with her film shoot today. luckily, it was at the center, where we have our classes, so it wasn't very inconvenient. her script took place in a bomb shelter, so we painted walls and stuck newspaper on them and put lots of cardboard and blankets around. it looked pretty dang awesome, especially with the lights dimmed and a greenish light cast on the scene. it's amazing what the camera can do, because our homemade 'bomb shelter' was TINY -- two walls and no ceiling or door. but with all the close-ups and tight shots, you'd never know we were filming in a normal room.

Our actors were AMAZING. two guys - who played brothers - one guy was in his 30s, he was originally from south africa, and he's the only one from his family here in the US. the other was the adorable 15 year old kid, who i found out was from Europe, and he and his parents were the only ones from their family here in the US! it was so funny. because i was the make-up artist, so i also told them i was the only one from my family here in the US! and we shared a bond for a second. it was cool. they totally understood where i was coming from because they've been through it. and they were pretty good actors, too, they got along like best buddies even though they just met.
i think it's crazy how EVERYONE in LA wants to be an actor. so much so that they'd even act in student films for free. but the kid was pretty talented. hope he gets far, 'cause he was so sweet and funny. he chattered incessantly, and was like, in spanish class, after a spanish exam, we watched jumanji! dubbed in spanish!! hahaha.
and he had the cutest big brown eyes :)

anyway, i've finally found my CALLING in life. i want to be a make-up artist!!!!!!!
seriously.
it's so fun! i've always been fascinated by makeup. i should go to beauty school!!! and i could do crazy makeup for films!!! OMG it's perfect!!! shall go research beauty schools now. i did the guys' makeup for the shoot, and it mostly consisted of making them look dirty with dark brown eyeshadow smudged all over their faces and necks, newspapers rubbed all over their arms, and lots of gel in their hair to make it look gross and tousled. it was SO fun. the most fun i've had on a shoot so far. way more fun than holding a boom mic, that's for sure!

oh. and i realized. a Director of a film doesn't do everything. did you know that?? i certaintly didn't. i thought directors were in charge of the entire film! but no. they are the ones with the vision, who tell the actors what to do and what they want the film to look like. very big picture. but the Director of Photography is actually the one operating the camera, focusing on shots, choosing which angle to shoot which scene. isn't that weird? i never knew that!!! and then the Producer is the one who handles all the logistics, like meals, permits to shoot, schedules to shoot, film budgets, all that stuff. and then the Production Designer creates the set and decorates it however the director sees it. and of course there's the sound grips and lights and all that. and then in post production, sound and picture editors cut the film and put it together. isn't it crazy how many people it takes to make one little film???

Mooncake Festival

Today was the annual Mooncake Festival, or Moon Festival, they call it here. so we went to Chinatown to celebrate, cuz that's where the party's at. they had crazy martial arts people from Shaolin temple, a fire breather, acrobats and dancers perform. and then we walked around hoping against hope to find a dim sum restaurant, but failed. hani and i were so sad.

here's the story...

we went into one seafood restaurant and asked if they had dim sum, but they didn't. then i asked if there was one nearby, and the waitress looked at me incredulously, like i was deaf and dumb and had five eyes. she said no, dim sum is only served during lunch (spoke really slowly too, like i was a newborn baby). and she muttered something that sounded like an insult in cantonese.

and THEN, this entire chinese family next to us proceeded to turn around and gawk at me and hani (the only asians in our group) in shock and disgust, as if it were some sort of blasphemy that Asians would dare ask for dim sum in the evening (it was about 8pm). they glared at us like we had somehow violated an asian code of conduct and embarrassed our entire race. all the women shook their heads and muttered under their breaths about the stupidity of asking for sacred dim sum at such an ungodly hour, and gave us the evil eye. then the grandfather took it upon himself to reprimand us. he wobbled up to us with his cane, wagged his finger in my face, and said, 'no dim sum!' repeatedly. he looked upset, like he'd just found out his restaurant business was given a 'B' in hygiene. he was so fragile that i held back my urge to say, 'but the website said: open till 1am!', just in case he died of a heart attack upon hearing my words. i think the entire family thought we were a disgrace to asians, that we would actually think there was dim sum available at night. obviously we fled the scene rather quickly, and got laughed at the entire time by our non-asian friends. we finally found another restaurant and settled down, but alas, the food was even worst than those asian american cheapo buffets.

i really don't like all these asian american 'chinese' dishes. they're not chinese! there's NO SUCH THING as 'beef chop suey' or 'crab rangoon' or 'egg drop soup' or 'moo shoo chicken'!!! even if there is, i've never heard of it!!!!!! so weird.

It's only been a few days

But i feel like i've already been here for months. it's weird. tons of weird/not-so-good stuff has been happening lately. my roomie got her load of laundry stolen right out the dryer, my other roomie was talking on her phone outside subway, in broad daylight, on the street in clear view of people, and this skinny white guy just whizzes by and SNATCHES the phone out of her hand!!!! her blackberry!! and after she gets over her shock of what just happened, the guy is way past gone. so the cops were called and all, but there's really nothing they can do. man, i've heard so many stories about people getting mugged in broad daylight, it's making me kinda afraid to go anywhere alone or hold any valuables in my hand. another friend got her wallet stolen at a CD shop. seriously!!! what is wrong with this place?? i guess we're all gonna be really cautious from now on, since apparently you can get robbed anywhere, anytime in LA.

ooh on tues went to The Grove in the evening (it's EVEN prettier in the evening!! pretty lights and everything! feels like a magical land. haha) to watch 500 Days of Summer. OMG if/when it comes out in singapore, PLEASE go and watch it. it's seriously the best romantic comedy i've ever seen in a while. it's different, unique, a little quirky and eclectic, but so worth it! although the ending leaves more to be desired, zooey deschanel is adorable and weird, as usual, and the story is just so cute and different from other predictable chick flicks. this movie's got more of an indie feel, but i just loved it. and the theatre we went to see it in was like some majestic ballroom! and you could tell by the steep ticket prices -- 12bucks just like in NYC. is it not enough that movies make big bucks?? do they have to rip us off too??? ooh but i learned in class that MOST movies actually LOSE MONEY! isn't that crazy?? so studios rely on one or two HUGE films like The Dark Knight or Transformers2 to recoup their losses. and here i thought they were ripping us off. although.. i still don't feel guilty for downloading movies online. hahaha.

been through several camera labs and equipment labs.. learning how to operate the crazy complicated cameras and equipments.. my head's just exploding with way too much information, and i'm pretty sure i'll forget it all. but it's so comforting to know there are other clueless people like me! there's english majors here, even an art history major! i guess most people, like me, come to this program with a basic interest in film, and they wanna find out for sure if this is where they wanna head into after graduation. we had a student film screening last night, where people got to show off their projects from previous classes, and i was totally blown away! i thought, from what i'd seen before, that student films are pretty crappy. and they usually are. but some of these pieces we saw were sooooooo professional and good! i was surprised!!! they were creative, funny, unique, and had a good message to tell. it was pretty cool, although the pressure's on, since everyone here is talented in some way.

talking about pressure... SO MUCH INFORMATION stuffed down our throats the last few days! i feel like i'm about to explode. so much homework i don't even wanna think about it. a couple who started the Hollywood Prayer Network (to support and pray for Christians in Hollywood), came and talked to us today and said we HAVE to know films if we wanna click with others in the industry and have something intelligent to contribute to conversations. so we have to watch the top 100 films on some list. omg. i looked it over, and i haven't seen like 95% of the films!!!! panicking now. this is what i get for watching mindless chick flicks all the time!! plus another huge topic in conversations is politics. GREAT. two things i'm clueless about. gotta go read up on that, because i gotta know the lingo in hollywood!!

and also we have to write a freaking script by wednesday to compete against each other cuz only 5 scripts will get picked to be made into movies in our Hollywood Production Workshop class. STRESS to the max. since obviously i'm a writer and i want to do good in this area. but i'm totally drawing blanks when it comes to story ideas. i mean, the film is only gonna be 10mins max. which means 10 pages of script. which means.. super short and crammed! and as you can see, i love to write. ALOT. people have trouble writing enough to meet the minimum, i have trouble writing lesser to be under the maximum. that's always been the case. sigh. will have to keep brainstorming.

but back to the couple who came and talked to us today... they were so cute and it was so refreshing to see people still happily married after so long in hollywood. they've worked with all kinds of famous directors, producers, actors... and they're still so grounded in the Lord and they've touched countless lives just by being an example of Jesus' love! it was pretty awesome to hear their stories. so i shall be committed to praying for one person at my office and pray that God will use me to touch that person's life. they keep telling us that most people in hollywood are jewish, which is surprising, and that people are so hungry for someone to listen, because everyone in hollywood lies and cheats and deceives. and their god is not money, it's worldview. some people will fight to the death for their beliefs in politics, saving the environment, gays... everything. it's all so overwhelming.

so anyway, i got to know more people here and there... some people here really look like some of my friends at taylor, it's weird. but everyone's really getting to know each other better, so it's cool. last night we watched Into the Wild at someone's apartment (another great thing about not being at taylor? no open house!! meaning we can go to anyone's apartment anytime! boy or girl! haha).. it was a pretty good movie. very thought provoking and a true story too! it was kinda slow and long, but still recommended. this guy actually removed all traces of his existence and went on a journey to alaska, meeting weird people along the way. he'd conformed to the expectations of his rich parents until after he graduated from college, then he 'ran away' and just started hiking by himself. it's crazy! i can't imagine living like that.. not really having any purpose but just drifting along and hunting for food everyday.

ooh and yesterday we tried to go see the Jimmy Kimmel live show in hollywood, because Robin Williams was a guest star, but we were too late and tickets were gone :( but it's ok, there are plenty of other shows!!! this is like new york all over again!! so many free shows to go to!!! Boys Like Girls is coming to the jimmy kimmel show a few weeks from now, and i signed up but only got standby tickets. hopefully someone cancels out.

so yeah. a lot to think about. have to write about my expectations for this semester, and honestly... the reason i applied for this LA semester was to get away from Taylor. plain and simple. it's not like i hated it there, i love my friends and all, but i just NEEDED to go somewhere else, somewhere where i have more freedom, where there's more stuff to do, more people to meet... i don't know. at that point in time last semester, i was running away a lot. like to new york and then now to LA. but now that i'm actually here... i think God brought me here for a purpose. i mean, i know that, and i'm excited to find out what it is :)

Oh internships

So been trying to find internships that i can do over the summer here in the States..and it's been so unbelievably impossible to find the perfect one. i'm not even that choosy, but i do need to find one that provides housing, cuz obviously i have no family here..and if transportation were provided that'll be cool too. and to be paid would be very nice. so that narrows it down to like 0.001% of all the internships available. argh. i've found a few...hopeful ones.. for magazines..national geographic..disney..abc.. world gospel mission..all that stuff. gonna get my resume together tomorrow and meet up with my advisor. really wanna apply and get this over with! doesn't help that alot of the deadlines are over already and i'm kinda late in applying for the summer!

in other news, my NEW YEAR resolution is... to be happy, healthy and hardworking! the 3Hs. haha. happy as in not stressed about classes or projects or the Echo or relationships, healthy as in working out 4 times a week (which i've been doing so far!) and eating healthily (because there are wayy too many things i wanna do in this world before going back to be with the Lord), and hardworking as in... not slacking too much. like i am right now :)

ooh in other other news, i saw the Grammys on sunday night!! awesomeness. and i saw, on TLC channel after that, THE PREGNANT MAN. and of course i was totally taken aback when i saw it. they were filming him giving birth somemore!! totally traumatized cuz how can a man give birth omg. but then as they story went on, i realized 'he' was a WOMAN. who did a sex change but still has female reproductive organs. ew ew ew. how can they even call 'her' a MAN when obviously she was born and still is a WOMAN??? she just looks like a guy and is married (ew) to another woman, but still... a woman!

so i was disappointed. i thought they made like some scientific breakthrough where guys can now get pregnant. because, as those who know me will know, i have no plans to have children. that's what adoption is for. i mean, why bring another child into this world when there are so many poor, lonely, starving children who don't even have anyone to provide for them??? plus being pregnant is painful and traumatizing. and i've paid my dues for suffering every month (or even twice a month).
enough said.

History in the making!!!

So.. is it just me or is it pretty cool that Obama won? even though everyone's been assuring me of his probable win, i was still pretty excited to find out who won for sure last night. it's just... WOW! America's come so far! from slavery to civil rights to the FIRST black president ever... i think it's pretty cool our generation got to witness this. even though i didn't vote, i was still excited to see the results. haha. didn't register to vote because.. i wouldn't know who to vote for anyway. but yay! i'm glad this is over. it was pretty tense. the making fun of sarah palin stuff was funny though.

soooo many pple dressed up as sarah palin for halloween this year. i know of at least 2 pple at taylor who did that. i think the most popular characters this year were - The Joker and Sarah Palin.
seriously.

in other news, i'm thinking of applying for the LA study abroad program. haha. i know i'm fickle-minded like that. cuz i realized the only reason i wanna go to australia is because of hillsong. not for the study program. which is a lame reason. because, as i realized the other day, my dreams keep changing. first i wanted to do something with music, then i thought about going into ministry, then i wanted to be a journalist, then i wanted to do the music/soundtrack for movies/tv shows, and now i wanna..... maybe do something with magazines or movies.

which is why the LA program would be PERFECT for me!! i realize i love doing film production stuff so much more than stupid writing!! but now it's too late to change. but it's ok. writing is good too. it's just that going to LA will give me so much experience in movie production!!!!! get to do some sort of internship in HOLLYWOOD..and my friend's there right now... SHE GOT TO MEET THE CAST OF PRISON BREAK!!!!
not gonna lie, that's a major pull factor right there. plus several alumni of that LA program get to do all sorts of cool stuff now..like write the script for One Tree Hill!!
that is totally what i wanna do with my life.
just hope i get to go. what with arranging all my classes and everything. it'll be an awesome, good networking experience!! then maybe next time after i graduate i can move to LA and WORK THERE!!! totally dream job right there.

Lessons i've learnt from movies

You know, movies, music, tv shows...all that stuff is really impactful. (at least the good, non-trashy ones are)
there have been so many times where i'm watching a movie, and something profound just strikes me, and it provokes all kinds of thoughts about life, love, people, everything. or when i'm feeling down and out, and i hear a song, and it just lifts my spirits and puts a smile on my face.
You know what? I really wanna do that for someone. be the creator THAT song, of THAT movie, of THAT something that touches other people and inspires them to greater things.
I don't know..just been doing a lot of thinking about the future lately.

so I saw 'the secret life of bees' in theaters over fall break, and there was this particular scene where one of the sisters killed herself, because she couldn't take living in this world without her twin, who had died earlier. and the two sisters left were mourning her death, and one sister said to the other something like, 'we shouldn't be selfish. we should let her go where she can be with her twin and be happy again.'

and it's kinda unrelated, but this question just popped into my mind - Am i being selfish for wanting to live out my life my own way? instead of... going the expected route. doing the normal, ordinary thing. going home and working a desk job forever. Am i selfish for wanting to break out of the norm, leave home and do something big for God? Am i selfish for upsetting people in the process of working towards what i feel God wants me to do? then why is it so hard??

and then i was watching 'The nanny diaries' today while taking a break from doing homework...and this song came on during the credits:

~wake up one morning you realize
your life is one big compromise
stuck in the job you swore was only temporary

feel like the world is passing u by
never done all the things u wanted to try
stuck in one place
got a pain in your face from all your stressing out

you ask yourself there's gotta be more than what i'm living for
you ask yourself there's gotta be something else, something more~

And i was like... i don't wanna compromise. i don't wanna settle. i had a really good conversation with a good friend of mine on friday night. we were supposed to work on an assignment, but we ended up just sitting in his car and talking for more than 2 hours. about life. he shared alot about his struggles and stuff..

and one thing he said to me was, 'you know what my greatest fear in life is? that i will settle for something instead of doing what i really want.'
That's exactly MY thoughts too! i don't wanna do something just cuz it's the right thing to do, or everyone wants me to do it, or it's the easy way out, or it's what's expected of me.

and then i watched high school musical 3 on its opening day (friday!), and the theater was swamped with little kids. haha. but anyway, i remember thinking something about the future when i watched it, but i can't remember now. haha.

so yeah. i'm just rambling. other than that, this weekend's been pretty fun. went to chili's for dinner (my first time) on fri, it was GOOD! :) and then last night went to flattop in fort wayne for beka's 20th birthday. flattop is this awesome restaurant where u pick all the ingredients and stuff u want like noodles, rice, meat, veggies, sauce, and they fry it all and mix it for u. yummy. and today we had a DDR partyyy on the wing. so basically have tons of overdue hw waiting for me.

need to go finish my ad campaign now. marketing natural perfume to older affluent women. oh joy.

No one like YOU!

There is no one like You
there has never ever been anyone like YOU!
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

today was an awesome all-campus worship night! it was really really really good for me. finally was able to really get into the spirit of worship instead of singing two songs and that's all. the worship night lasted for 2 hours..i went for 1 1/2 hours. was really good. awesome to be worshipping alongside fellow bros and sis! the chapel bands led worship. i think its really cool how they each have their own style. one's kinda acoustic..one's all about contemporary christian songs..one's obsessed with hillsongs..which is great for me cuz i miss hillsongs lots. so yeah! thank God for this opportunity to come back to the heart of worship :) today was just a great day. caught up with more friends about spring break..

class was fun. worked my butt off during aerobic walking. didn't know walking could be so tiring! felt good though. totally put on weight from eating so much over spring break! haha. digital audio production class was fun..we listened to each other's projects. haha. mine was a 60sec promo for my parents' Building Strong Marriages classes. pple liked it. so it was cool :) then waited around forever to drop Historic Christian Belief with the evil prof. but he got into an accident so he wasn't here at all this wk. you know something's wrong when a prof is in an accident and the class doesn't even care to ask. heh. no one even bothered to ask if he was ok! seriously. he brings out the absolute worst in all of us. oh well. dont have to deal with him anymore. i wish him all the best in his sad life. maybe one day God will change him. hopefully.

ystdy i interviewed this freshman girl for The Echo, our sch newspaper.. (btw i'm thinking of applying for News Editor for The Echo next yr! isn't that exciting???) anw..she fell down on campus n hit her head on the ice covering the sidewalk 3 wks ago, and she's now suffering from temporary memory loss! isn't that crazy?? makes me thank God for all His protection n blessings in my life :) she told me 3 hours from now she wouldn't really remember the conversation i had with her. whoaaaa. but she's going to therapy so she'll be well soon. hopefully. omg talking about freak accidents.. this guy i sorta know from taylor was lost in Ecuador during spring break!! was all over the news! he was lost in the wilderness for like a day and they had to rush him to the hospital when they found him. craziness.

and i watched the Oprah show today cuz this girl from Taylor was on it.. Whitney cerak.. she and a bunch of other taylor pple were in a fatal accident last yr n only she survived i think. and another family thought she was their daughter..and they took care of her n all. and her family thought she was dead.. case of mistaken identity. so weird! till they finally found out they got the identities mixed up. can't imagine how horrid it must have been for the family who thought their daughter was alive when she was actually dead. so Oprah interviewed her n her family.. and she also wrote a book which pretty much sold out here i think. coolness huh.

so.. i really love taylor. just wanted to say that. been catching up with friends here about our spring break adventures. i love everyone here!!! lots!! found a new roomie for next yr..so i'm gonna stay on my wing! yayy!! and keep my room! :)

random thought - u know what kinda job i would really LOVE? producing the soundtrack for movies. seriously. that would be second awesome next to forming a band and becoming famous. cuz i always LOVE finding songs for short videos that my friends or i produce..i just love it! it would be sooo fun to write the songs/tunes for movies...sooo cool. wonder how u'd get to that kinda job.

keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face

so i listened to ps khong's sermon on direction for your life last night. when i first heard his voice, i almost teared. realized i miss sitting in the front rows at church with my spiritual family and listening to pastor preach. so thanks suang, candy and mum n dad for prompting me to listen to this sermon. it spoke to me SO very much. felt like every single word he said pierced deep into my heart, like God crafted this sermon for pastor to deliver specially to me.

it's so true that i'm so lost and confused. all this planning for the future. plus wondering about whether i should stay on in the States or go back after graduation makes things more confusing. and also the fact that i have to choose next year on by my bdae cuz my s'pore passport expires then. feels like i'm standing at this huge crossroads in my life, and whatever move i make next will impact my future and my life. and i just was stressing out over it SO much. couldn't handle the pressure. but God is so wonderfully faithful. He brought me friends here at taylor who shared the same frustrations and struggles, and support from back home. and i just feel so encouraged knowing i'm not the only one struggling with this. and so very encouraged by what pastor khong said about seeking God for His will.

i've thought it through. maybe music isn't for me after all. and that's ok with me. as long as it's in God's will..i'm trying to prepare myself to give up my passion if it's indeed what He wants for me. maybe i'm not meant to pursue it now, but sometime in the future. u never know. and i realized He may have been telling me His will all this while but i've been blocking it out because i really really want to hold on to my own desires and i refuse to let them go. cuz in my heart i've already decided i love music and i wanna do it in the future so i try to rationalize and tell God my plan.

so i'm gonna continue praying about it, seeking Him, maybe toss a coin :) and whatever the outcome is, i want to follow His plan and not hold on to my selfish ambitions because He definitely knows what's best for me better than i know. no more worrying or running away!

grace like rain

my new fav christian song! played it over and over and over again!
hallelujah..grace like rain..falls down on me :)

this week's been pretty AWESOME :) relaxing.

mon had our first greece n italy meeting as a group. 40 of us! i'm so excited!!!! can't wait for jan. wed had a midterm for one of my media classes. my only midterm exam! my classes rock. it wasn't that hard. although i stayed up pretty late tues night studyin..cuz didn't start studyin till tues. haha. had a study break watchin beauty n the geek in rebecca's room. love it! even managed to make it to chapel on wed..the speaker was pretty cool. she came to our class too. she's a taylor grad..works in a christian magazine now. sounds really cool, what she does.

doing pretty well in classes. which makes me really happy. cuz i'm taking classes for my major, and doing well in them is a good sign! it means i'm in the right major! thank God. it would make me really sad if i ended up not doing well. like, in two of my classes, my profs told us that they have high standards for writing papers..and that if we get an A, it means the paper is reallyyy good. so i was super stressed out. didn't wanna get a B or C! but turned out i got As for papers in both classes! made me soooo relieved. maybe i can write well after all. thank God!! but my grades for presentation isn't as good. got Bs..but that's ok. i like writing better than talking. haha.

ok, so i'm SUPER EXCITED for what i can do with my life now. ahahha. there's just SO much stuff i can do with my major! i love it so much! i dunno what to do! should i write for a newspaper, magazine, or..my latest realization..work in the music industry!!! that'll be SO awesome. there's this contemporary music center study abroad thing that taylor offers..where u get to go to boston for a semester and just immerse yourself in music!!! how cool is that!!! like u learn about the industry..u can choose to be an artist n write and perform songs, or u can choose to learn the executive part of it..like managing artists and stuff. that sounds really fun. like, i totally wanna do the artist one..but..dunno if i'm good enough. sigh!

i realized i'm not really happy this year..why?? cuz i'm running the TCA worship ministry instead of being in it. i dun really have any opportunity to lead worship this yr! which makes me kinda sad. i think i'd rather be doing the ministry than being in charge of it. sighhhh. oh well. maybe next year.

i was practicing my guit n singing last night..just random worship songs..and this girl just popped into my room, and was like, ur so good! i can hear u from outside! i was like..omg. pple can hear me outside??? so weird!! i dun like that my room is just next to the door. grrr. ooh a few guys i know wants to go to hillsong college after graduation. that'll be so cool! i wanna go too :)

today was fun! slept in. watched the guys' soccer game..had a movie event..was supposed to show 'i not stupid'..but the stupid movie didn't get here in time! so we showed 'the host'..some scary korean show. ewww. made bubble tea!! i can make pretty good bubble tea! yay! drank like two cups. yummyyyy. went to open mic night at the union..there were some pretty good voices there. it's the weekend tmr! YAY :)

late nights

so much for a relaxing weekend. hardly got any sleep! too much time socializing. haha.
fri our wing had a pick-a-date! pizza picnic n dodgeball. it was intense. the guys were SO into it! i just walked around and tried not to get hit. haha. then went for a root beer float partyyy at amy's house! it's so nice n comfy. i want to live off campus too!

then talked to mum n dad on skype. yayyy. told them about my new plan for my future.
soooo...i'm thinking, hopefully i can squeeze n all my credits n finish in 3 1/2 yrs instead of 4. then spend the remaining half semester at hillsong college in aust!!! it's like my dream to go there. and then go to grad school somewhere in the states. that's all i've got so far. don't know which grad sch yet. haha. but sounds like a gd plan :) dad ok-ed it.

watched the science of sleep at the souphouse. only i didn't really watch it. after 5 mins got bored so went to the kitchen n talked random pple..like upi! he's funny. he's indian. and a grad student. he gave us indian snacks! so..by the time i got back to my room at like 2am..my roomie was asleep. so early! on a fri night.

sat..woke up at 12pm! wonderful sleep. late lunch. trooped over to walmart with girls on my wing, my fav place according to krystle. got supplies!! baking stuff cuz we're gonna make egg tarts! YAY! now our fridge is stocked full of food :) sang disney songs all the way back. haha. we got the sudden urge to watch mulan. pple here like mulan alot! kinda funny cuz i watched it last yr with some pple, and i realize how wrong the chinese is in mulan! but of cuz no one knows.

went to the Inferno at night!! it's a huge bonfire/live band performance thing put on by english dorm..was pretty cool. there were pple tossing around fiery balls. and free food. and good music. hung out at luke's room afterwards. watched funny videos online! by the time i got back, roomie was asleep again. haha.

so today i'm pretty tired. didn't get much sleep over the weekend. and my throat feels kinda sore. sighhhh. i hate being sick. went to church at 9am, only to find out that today was combined service, which meant it starts at 10. so went for breakfast. church was ok..went to muncie alliance church. worship was reallyyyy good. they sang 'the stand' frm hillsong! but sermon...abit hard to pay attention to. he diverts from his main points alot. aft service had free lunch! cookout style. lots of food. and bees. i hate bees. lay in the sun w rebecca n amy n jessie! i love the sun. made a trip to walmart AGAIN. sick of it. got dvds for uber cheap price of 14 US bucks! that's like only sing21. came back n lay in the sun more with capri. sat outside our dorm on the grass n did homework..till we got distracted by cute halfnaked guys playing lacrosse. haha.

no hw today! goin to sleep early so i can get up early to workout tmr! yes u heard me right! i can't live in this unhealthy way no more. change starts NOW! :)

Lifesong

whoaaa. busyness everyday. not so much homework or studying..but activities n fun stuff :) i love this last week of classes. nothing much to do..getting out of class early everytime. love it! haha. finally done and over with fit for life! no more pe! sort of. ystdy i had a 'tour' of the TCA office i'll be working in next yr..excitedd! seems like alot to do though. but i'm excited. we're gonna have a retreat and stuff at the start of next yr so i'll get to know my partner and the other people working in TWO. yay! had my last christian education small group..will kinda miss it. was nice to share with others about my experience with the kids ministry and talking about vocation and culture n stuff.

so..got to thinking about my vocation and what i should do..looked up the different minors i can have. cuz i'm pretty sure i'm gonna stick to my major. if i ever change it, it'll only be changing my concentration to media production (like producing tv n video n stuff) instead of media writing. but will still be in communications department. so..don't think i'll do christian ed anymore cuz i just think the stuff they teach i can probably learn in church..and maybe i'm just not cut out for it. even though i love it and i'm still taking a class for christian ed for fun next semester :)

thought of psychology..but don't think so..considered music composition..but i don't wanna lose my love for music by making it something i have to do for class instead of for fun. so..i decided i might do a minor in graphic design!!! it kinda goes with my major..maybe i'll do stuff for magazines n might need this kinda knowledge? who knows. plus most of the courses overlap, so i just need to take 3-4 more courses and i have a minor! so easy! think i should. kinda random though. never thought of myself as an art person. because i'm not. but that's precisely why i must learn! so pple will wanna hire me next time! haha.

anw today was super busy. woke up super early just to take a picture for TWO. ughhh. classes all day..then Gerig hall dinner! oily pizza and fattening cookies. gosh. but we laid out on the grass in the nice sun. excited about moving to olson, but will really miss the Gerig people. gotten to know them so much better n love them so! :) went to a cookout with our brother floor for a few mins..then had s'mores at alicia's house! will miss her too! then checked out 4th Berg open house. was pretty cool. they decorated it n made it look like the inside of the airplane. even had barf bags with 'puke' (made of ramen, oatmeal n disgusting random stuff) all over. eww. also..packed! am kinda ready to leave. my room looks so sad and empty. :( but i got rid of so much stuff i never used. heh. and found one HUGE disgusting cockroach-ish looking insect!! omg. ran away from it. and now it's somewhere in my room i don't know where and i'm terrified! hope it don't crawl on me when i sleep. EW! this had to change. i've been living in filth for this whole yr. next yr my room's gonna be cleaned every day! i'll make sure of it. haha.

can't believe it's the end of the year!! feels like only yesterday we all just came! aahhh! so fast. excited for next yr though. and all the new little freshies and all that God has in store for me :)