Lessons i've learnt from movies

You know, movies, music, tv shows...all that stuff is really impactful. (at least the good, non-trashy ones are)
there have been so many times where i'm watching a movie, and something profound just strikes me, and it provokes all kinds of thoughts about life, love, people, everything. or when i'm feeling down and out, and i hear a song, and it just lifts my spirits and puts a smile on my face.
You know what? I really wanna do that for someone. be the creator THAT song, of THAT movie, of THAT something that touches other people and inspires them to greater things.
I don't know..just been doing a lot of thinking about the future lately.

so I saw 'the secret life of bees' in theaters over fall break, and there was this particular scene where one of the sisters killed herself, because she couldn't take living in this world without her twin, who had died earlier. and the two sisters left were mourning her death, and one sister said to the other something like, 'we shouldn't be selfish. we should let her go where she can be with her twin and be happy again.'

and it's kinda unrelated, but this question just popped into my mind - Am i being selfish for wanting to live out my life my own way? instead of... going the expected route. doing the normal, ordinary thing. going home and working a desk job forever. Am i selfish for wanting to break out of the norm, leave home and do something big for God? Am i selfish for upsetting people in the process of working towards what i feel God wants me to do? then why is it so hard??

and then i was watching 'The nanny diaries' today while taking a break from doing homework...and this song came on during the credits:

~wake up one morning you realize
your life is one big compromise
stuck in the job you swore was only temporary

feel like the world is passing u by
never done all the things u wanted to try
stuck in one place
got a pain in your face from all your stressing out

you ask yourself there's gotta be more than what i'm living for
you ask yourself there's gotta be something else, something more~

And i was like... i don't wanna compromise. i don't wanna settle. i had a really good conversation with a good friend of mine on friday night. we were supposed to work on an assignment, but we ended up just sitting in his car and talking for more than 2 hours. about life. he shared alot about his struggles and stuff..

and one thing he said to me was, 'you know what my greatest fear in life is? that i will settle for something instead of doing what i really want.'
That's exactly MY thoughts too! i don't wanna do something just cuz it's the right thing to do, or everyone wants me to do it, or it's the easy way out, or it's what's expected of me.

and then i watched high school musical 3 on its opening day (friday!), and the theater was swamped with little kids. haha. but anyway, i remember thinking something about the future when i watched it, but i can't remember now. haha.

so yeah. i'm just rambling. other than that, this weekend's been pretty fun. went to chili's for dinner (my first time) on fri, it was GOOD! :) and then last night went to flattop in fort wayne for beka's 20th birthday. flattop is this awesome restaurant where u pick all the ingredients and stuff u want like noodles, rice, meat, veggies, sauce, and they fry it all and mix it for u. yummy. and today we had a DDR partyyy on the wing. so basically have tons of overdue hw waiting for me.

need to go finish my ad campaign now. marketing natural perfume to older affluent women. oh joy.