I have to admit, I kind of wish I went to Africa or South America or some place that is really torn apart by poverty and sickness and prejudice and corruption and all kinds of huge problems. Then maybe I would feel more useful, like I was actually doing something of use to God's kingdom. But God works in mysterious ways we can never fathom, so I like to think that even though I'm here in England, living quite a blessed life (not like the miserable and persecuted missionary life I imagined), God is still using me to touch the lives of others. Even though I may not see any fruits, maybe I'm planting the seeds and God will send someone else to come along and water them. I just have to trust I am here for a purpose.
I mean, people here really do need God too. It's just a different situation, because England's such a prosperous and developed first world country, so people don't really think of it as a place that is in need of God, but it actually is in desperate need of the truth, just like any other country. It has Christian roots, so many people think they're Christians, but when you delve deeper into their faith, you realize they don't know Jesus at all. But they're not open to the gospel because they think they're already saved. It's a tricky situation. There's also a lot of self-proclaimed atheists here, which I think is quite sad.
Anyway, life here has been pretty normal, kind of like life in college, except with lesser homework and no stress because I already have a university degree and I can't care less about any homework they give me here. Plus I've already learned most of the stuff since I went to a CHRISTIAN college. It's just annoying. When I graduated in may, I thought I would never have to read another pointless book or take another lame exam or do another useless assignment. But I guess my rejoicing was in vain. If you can't tell, I'm a bit bitter about this whole studying thing. I just don't like to do things that are pointless, in my opinion.
But we did start our Bible study with one of the church elders today (finally, after 2 months of delaying), and I actually enjoyed it a lot. This man is like over 80, but he's so agile and wise; I really respect him. He's been through wars and bombings, he's experienced his wife passing away before him, he's been involved in ministry since he was a youth, and he still has tons of energy to be involved in almost every church event + ministry. It's amazing, what he does.
So... youth group has been getting better every week. We're really starting to connect with the girls, especially the older ones (15-16 year olds), and it's fun meeting up with them every week, playing games, sharing testimonies, baking cookies, and inviting them to church.
Youth group is definitely my favorite, along with kids club. The kids are insane - they run around like little balls of candy, but they're ridiculously cute. I can't scold them for being too noisy or fidgety during the Bible stories, because I'm too soft-hearted, so I laugh at their jokes and pay lots of attention to them. I'm realizing that kids will love you if you shower them with attention. So I think that's why the kids love me - because I pay them more attention than my other teammates, who are more like authority figures than their friends. I know I'm supposed to be a leader, to help keep the kids under control, but I can't help goofing around with them. It makes me feel like a kid again.
OH. And - side note - I've been told numerous times I look 18 years old - maximum. Some even thought I was 16. Can I just say, I love English people!! They're totally shocked when they find out I'm 23. They're like, no way! You are NOT 23! You look so young! I'm like, I love you for saying that. I'm so glad I don't look old. So that made me really happy.
Anyway, we got to go door-to-door in our town, which is not my (or my team's) favorite thing to do, but we did it because we had to, and because our supervisor is super passionate about it, so we gave it a second chance. Even though the first few times were awful because of the lack of response and the resulting waste of time. So we went around town, knocking on people's doors, asking them if they wanted to do a personal belief survey. We asked them what they thought of God, who they thought Jesus was, what they thought would happen to people after death, and if they would like to know Jesus personally. We split up into teams of 2 and only got about 4 responses, which was quite disappointing. But it was still better than sitting around in our rooms doing nothing.
We also got to go to different towns and hand out different kinds of tracts (tracts nowadays come in all kinds of colors and themes and messages - they're way more interesting), which was okay. Some places in smaller towns were better, because people were more receptive there. In bigger cities, people were used to having tracts or flyers or pamphlets of all kinds shoved in their faces, so they weren't as friendly and hardly any one took the tracts, which was quite frustrating.
Last week, we went to do ballooning and face painting with another team, which was really fun. I just love taking kids' "orders" and making whatever balloon animal they request. We started in the afternoon, when school let out, so it was a crazy swarm of chaotic, because it seemed like every single kid in the neighborhood wanted a balloon. The popular choices were sword - for boys - and dogs or flowers - for girls. I am now officially an expert at making balloon swords and dogs. It was amazing, seeing how excited the kids got, and seeing their faces painted as Batman, Spiderman, and all kinds of funny stuff.
Also, we just got a new team member - a dude from Korea - so he's brought a new dynamic to the team, which has been really good. I don't know why, but it seems like every Korean I've met is hilarious - either intentionally or unintentionally. They're just so animated in their words and actions. It's the cutest thing. All the Koreans here always make me laugh, because you can never predict what they will say or do next.
So it's been pretty good this month. We're getting along really well as a team, we're having more ministry to do, and yeah. Life is pretty good in general. I think we're making a bit of an impact on the community and on the church, and even though we haven't really seen the fruits of our labor, I just trust that God is using all that we're doing to reach out to people in whatever stage of life they're in.
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