yesterday went to small group for ethnic scholarship recipients. was the only girl there, except for the leader. had an.. interesting time discussing racism n stuff. i dun think having a multiracial church matters. what divides the body of Christ most is the different denominations. we worship the same God, but in so many different ways. i realized that even though everyone's a Christian here, not all of them have the same beliefs as me. it feels like hardly anyone believes the same things i do. someone said something about speaking in tongues..that it's passing away. WHAT the heck.

no one speaks in tongues here! i haven't spoken in tongues for months. feel like i'm gonna forget it. they think it separates the church or smth, cuz no one else would understand what ur saying. either that or they think its a special gift that only a few pple have. been trying to convince pple otherwise, but to no avail. feel like i might as well be in a public school. just so...ugh! frustrated that pple here don't seem to know the same God or worship Him the same way i do. talked with my fren the other day. either i have alot of misconceptions about God, or she does. its just hard to deal with different beliefs in the same religion.

something insignificant happened in small group, but it affected me a whole lot. one guy was talking about how he was excited to go home for the weekend, and he turned to me n was like, i can't imagine not seeing my family for so long! cuz he knew i couldn't see my family til christmas. it was just a passing comment, but i just felt like it brought me crashing down to earth. like i've been floating on clouds these few weeks, burying myself in stuff, avoiding being alone so i won't feel lonely or smth. but i just miss my family SO MUCH right now.

~Jesus i believe in You, Jesus i belong to You, You're the reason that i live, the reason that i sing~
Lord wrap Your arms around me. i need You now more than ever.