Goodbye school

The GRE (graduate record examination?), that's what inspired this post. It was an interesting experience. First of all, I hardly studied; I started looking through the preparation book about 5 days before the exam. I skimmed through the tips and advice, rushed through the practice tests, didn't bother looking at the explanations for those questions I answered wrong, and slept late the night before (because I was surfing the net... not studying).

But in my defense, I memorized the top 10 GRE words, and the next 20, too. I know what you're wondering - what are the chances of all the questions in the test containing words only from this list?? Turns out, zero. Oh well. You live and learn.

So I didn't do too well on the verbal section. It was filled with weird-looking words I'd never seen in my life, so naturally I muddled through it with lots of guesswork. I did much better on the quantitative (math) section, but who cares. I'm never going to become a mathematician. I was the first one to complete the test and run out of the room, but that was mostly because I did a lot of guessing on the questions. I figured I would never decipher what words like 'obdormition' or 'salsuginose' meant even if I spent the rest of my life guessing, so why bother? Might as well finish fast, go home, and take a nap (since I woke up at the crack of dawn to be at the testing center by 8am).

All in all, I did well enough to be above average, but not good enough for Ivy League schools. I can't imagine going to those schools though. Being surrounded by nerds 24/7, people who are genuinely passionate about their field of study, unlike me, because at this point I have no idea what I want, and if I go back to school it would only be because:
1. I don't know what else to do
2. I just want to make more friends and have fun
3. School is a good way to delay getting a job and becoming a real adult

Sometimes I think I've pursued the wrong degree - I've always fared better in math and science than in the arts, and I actually enjoy doing math, because of the pure objectivity of it. Once I figure out how to solve a question, I'm on a roll, and I love it. I could do it forever, like the time I spent days in McDonald's completing every single 'A' Level math preparation book that ever existed. But then again, there's no creativity in math or science, just loads of numbers. And I like creating things and writing and imagining and all that right brain kind of stuff.

So anyway, I don't even know why I took the test; it's not like I'm going to graduate school anytime soon. The mere thought of buying another ridiculously priced textbook, sitting through another horrendously boring lecture, and writing another essay on some obscure topic I know nothing of and care nothing about is a little more than terrifying. After 22 years (okay, more like 16 years) of studying my life away, I think I'm pretty much done with that.

Not to sound prideful or anything, but even though I'm good at academics (somehow professors have always taken a liking to my spontaneous 'crap' - I thank God every day for the wonderful gift of writing-about-something-I-know-nothing-about-yet-coming-across-as-somewhat-of-an-expert), honestly I feel burnt out. 16 years is a long time, even if 3/4 of that time was spent grumbling about the horrors of the rigid Singaporean education system.

Looking back, although it was tough at the time to undergo the stresses of outrageously difficult exams and assignments in school, I'll admit I'm rather grateful for the solid foundation I received from Singapore. All that abuse from insane teachers and impossible tests has made me more determined to succeed and prove them wrong (I went from an F to an A, so take that, crazy-teacher-whose-name-I-forgot-who-kept-telling-my-entire-class-we-were-stupid-idiots-who-would-never-pass-A-Level-math-or-do-anything-useful-in-life!) Also, it made my four years in university in America a total breeze. I think even the academics in secondary school was possibly harder than that of Taylor.

But I was probably more stressed out in university because I was studying something I actually gave two hoots about, so naturally I was determined to do well and beat everyone else. Even though it didn't seem like it, I was a little obsessive about being the best (or one of the best) - I checked my scores against the class average every once in a while to make sure my 'As' were better than everyone else's. When they weren't, I fell into a funk for a day or two, and then I worked my butt off to make sure it didn't happen again.

All this to say... I have no idea what my point was. I've gone off on too many tangents.

Anyway, school, I guess it's time to bid farewell to you. It's been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, but now it's time to get off and... do something else with my life.