precious thoughts

Dear Lord,
Help me not to hold earthly possessions so tightly. Help me to surrender them to You. Help me to put You first in my life over everything and everyone that i hold dear. Because ultimately You never fail me, and people may come and go, things may fade away, but You are forever faithful and Your unconditional love always lifts me up.
Help me to find the right path in life so I won't feel like i'm constantly drifting around, not knowing which direction to take, feeling rather lost and alone. Take my hands and guide me towards the plans that You have for me. Plans to give me a hope and a future. Plans to bless me so i can bless others.
Amen :)



Excited about going to New York CITY today!!! gonna see my parents!!!! :) :) :)

sigh

i wanna thank God for my home. thank God that i have a place i can call home, in s'pore. with family and friends all around me. i've never known how it feels to have to keep moving from country to country. but i guess that's what missionaries have to deal with. must be tough growing up and having to constantly adapt to new environments and people. really admire them.

sometimes i wish i were stronger. would wanna try bringing the gospel to people in other nations who aren't as privileged and blessed as i've been. so.. can't wait for my missions trip to JAMAICA!!! excited. it's on mar 31st!!! 2 more months! pretty scared though. never been on one before. plus i don't know anyone from the team! but.. God has brought me to it, He will bring me through it :)

depression

that's what we learnt about in psych class today. it's been really interesting lately, learning about all the disorders and symptoms, and who's more likely to get them. i think i'm pretty safe, being that i had a good childhood and a stable and loving family environment. haha. anw, today he got kinda serious when we got to the topic of suicide. he was like, i want u all to hear this from me - if u ever have a suicidal friend, u should talk to that person and not leave him/her alone. find out if the person has a suicidal plan, how fatal is that plan, and if he/she is bent on carrying it out. whoaa. pretty serious stuff there.

some people shared their stories of friends who committed suicide. one girl was like, she had a friend who killed herself by carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage, and when she was halfway dead, she called her coach in school and told him she won't be there for practice. then the coach got worried and thought she was drunk, but she was actually dying already. and he didn't manage to save her.

also another story.. this guy's best friend called him on his cell and told him he was gonna kill himself. he rushed over to his house, and got there in time to see his best friend shoot himself. and he was just 30 feet too far away to prevent it from happening. so he saw his friend die right before his eyes.

all this just made me think of how precious life is, and u never know when it's gonna end or when you're gonna lose someone. also made me realize how pointless life must be for people who don't know God. I'm thankful i have God in my life. I wish everyone could come to see God's unconditional love and stop feeling like there's nothing to live for.
Gonna treasure every day and everyone in my life! :)

SNOW CAMP pics!!

me n julie..pulling faces :)

taylor girls..at the half frozen lake!

me n cartoon..beside a snowy tree

me n naoko! crazy asian tourists :)

SNOW camp :)

back from snow camp!! it was..one word: WONDERFUL. organized by mukappa..so all the missinary kids from wheaton, cedarville, huntington, moody went. all christian schs arnd the area. we stayed in this really quaint camping site..with cabins and all. but the best part was i got to know new pple from other schs!! plus tons of hot guys. got me wondering..why all the hot guys don't come to taylor??? anw..it was really fun. played lotsa games..like mafia. in which i was the mafia. so hard!! had to lie to others to their face, and i was terrible at it. just wanted to laugh to badly. haha. but at least i lasted the longest out of all the other mafia. went sliding at their giant slide..haha..except it didn't snow till today. but at least it snowed today :)

had a few sessions, where this missinary - dwight peterson - spoke. he was really good. one thing he said that sorta struck me was that sin isn't a sudden thing. it's a continuous process building up..like maybe u didn't commit this particular sin today, but u moved one step closer to committing it one year later. so u might think it's a victory today, but satan rejoices cuz it'll be his bigger victory one yr later. smth like that. i nv thought abt it this way. and also he talked abt taking away the things in ur life that hinders u from growing closer to God..and the importance of establishing intimate relationships with pple arnd u so they'll keep u accountable. and i really really want that..but..still haven't felt like i can really open up - and i mean open up - to anyone here. i guess it's a step-by-step process. little by little. trying.

and we has this one particular session which was really awesome. in one hour, i got to know 2 other pple much better than i've known some pple for yrs. the pastor got us talking about ourselves..then our current struggles..and our prayer needs in groups. and everyone was SO incredibly open. it was beautiful how we all shared our hearts with complete strangers.

and i've come to realize that all of my life i've been in public schools where i'm surrounded by pple who don't believe in God, and so i know what i'm put there to do - to be an example to my frens..and try to bring them to Christ. but since i've come to taylor, i've been asking God what He wants me to do here, cuz everyone's a christian (supposedly), and there's no one to evangelize. but i realize i'm in a different journey of my life..where i'm put here to encourage my fellow believers and grow as a community of Christ.

we had this skit night where we split into our different continents..north/south/central america, africa, europe, asia - the island non island countries. heh. so i was in a grp with missinary kids from indonesia, philippines, japan.. was really cool to be arnd pple who understand cultures similar to mine.
anw the tagline from our skit was..
'if u think snakes on a plane was bad... this is ASIANS on a plane'

hahaha. was pretty funny. we did stereotypical asians. me and this japanese girl were the asian tourists..excited abt everything..taking pictures of everything..screaming over cute guys..posing in the typical asian pose. haha. was fun :) we all terrorized the poor, unsuspecting american.
the african one was the funniest!!!! they also did a plane scene..where this african guy tried to buy an american woman for his wife..and there were pple ripping off the americans..and monkeys n chaos on the plane. haha.

yupyup..good times. really tired though. but super glad i went. made so many new frens..and the Lord really spoke to me. so..thankful for that :)

Happy birthday suanggita!!!

To anyone who's reading this and knows Suang, tell her to go to this link! her present's there.
and it's not late!! today's still friday in indiana :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCuX7PqwIZc

if it doesn't work, just go search 'happy birthday, suang!' on youtube. yayy! :)

if only..

IF ONLY i loved running and all that stuff (which, if u know me, i don't)..i'd totally join the army! seriously. it's like my dream. isn't it so cool??? to be one of the few tough girls able to fire a rifle n stuff.. but now i can't even be bothered to walk to the DC for meals sometimes, so..think this dream oughta be abandoned.

IF ONLY i could cook...i'd be a pro chef. but i can't cook even if my life depended on it.. which is really saddening. cuz i've been watching the next food network star, and it's amazing how they can whip up all these yummilicious dishes! being a pro chef would be awesome..creating all these artistic, beautiful dishes..so much fun!

IF ONLY i could do stats. hahaha. i'd be a psychologist. the stuff we're learning in class now is actually really interesting! learnt so much about memory, how genes affect our personality, etc. plus our professor does outside counselling, so he meets all these fascinating pple with fascinating problems..and he gets to help them, which is really cool.

IF ONLY i were more disciplined in practising my music so i'll improve..maybe i can actually be a professional musician. which is really tough cuz there are so many other musicians out there better than me and still not discovered. aahhh..imagine the lights, sounds, pple out in front of u..singing the songs YOU wrote. nothing could be more amazing than that. except maybe pple singing the songs u wrote FOR God. that would be the best thing i could ever do with my life.

tons of fun~

that's what today was...fun! :) woke up early to go to upland community church. went for their contemporary service, which.. wasn't very contemporary. haha. kinda slow. but really short. way less than 2 hrs. walked there n back in the pouring rain with some girls frm my dorm. sermon was about 'when God prompts u, just DO it!' was pretty gd :)

lunch was exactly the same as every sunday. potatoes, pasta, bread. ughhh. went for gospel choir prac again! our last before the actual thing tmr. pretty excited!!! was fun! the pastor from some church came and hyped us up. his voice was...one word:power!!! and he himself overpowered all 30+ of us. sang lots of gospel songs..got to move and dance like a gospel choir. i love how unpredictable gospel is..like whatever the pastor feels like doing, he just leads us into it and we spontaneously follow.

this song rocks
~take the shackles off my feet so i can praise You
i just wanna praise You, i just wanna praise You
You broke the chains now i can lift my hands
and i'm gonna praise You, i'm gonna praise You~

at night went for berto ramon's concert at the union. was simply AWESOME! haha. they're frm chicago, but never heard of them before, so wasn't really excited. but once they started playing and got everyone to stand in front of the stage, the atmosphere was hyped up!! pple were dancing n getting all excited..their style was pretty cool. hiphop-reggae-funk. bought their cd!! haha. had such a great time dancing! like, heck with the LTC and the rule about no dancing. u can't NOT move when there's music this great! felt like it was clubbing minus the smoke and dim lights. yup, it was pretty much awesome. we should do this everyday. :)

footprints

can't believe the weekend's almost over! way too fast. fri was soup night at the daudts'. lotsa pple came..new faces too. had a gd time..eating gd food..playing games..watching infernal affairs 2. haha. only it was in cantonese with eng subtitles and no one understood it but me. so i spent the whole time explaining the plot instead of appreciating edison chen's hotness. haha.

had tom yum party at gerig aft that! soup digests quickly. got hungry again. :) had a really gd deep conversation with cartoon,sung ah and emily..talked about all kinds of random stuff for like 2hrs. told them about our church and how we speak in tongues and get slain and everything..they were pretty surprised. like never heard about this kinda stuff before. only seen on tv. which was really weird. plus some of them have been praying really hard to receive the gift of tongues, but still haven't. which is weird too cuz like in church lotsa pple receive it pretty quickly. and then they practise it. anw..was a gd talk. getting to know each other better. slept over in cartoon's room on the floor and got an aching shoulder this morn :(

slacked arnd today..did my 2wks worth of laundry. finally. was running out of stuff to wear. heh. went for gospel choir rehearsal again! pretty fun. absolutely LOVE our new song! it's called shackles. mary mary sang it before. it's a pretty old song. but it's so gospel!!! we get to move to the groove..haha.really cool. can't wait for monday!!! went to jason's room..watched the village. ew. they forced me to watch it cuz i'm so NOT a horror movie person!!!! grrr. but it wasn't that scary. had its moments, but..not the supernatural kind of scary which freaks me out. pretty stupid ending too. midnight trip to starbucks after that with a couple of pple. had another gd talk. haha. about cute israeli guys. sung ah's going to jordan for the summer!!! cuz her parents are missionaries there. how cool is that!!!! get to travel arnd the middle east!!

the fray concert!

lead singer of the opening act. some unknown band with unique instruments like some distorted electric guitar thingy. he had some majorly cool moves. like this one.

me and sung ah all excited :)

the fray! with cool lighting. we had awesome 5th row tix thanks to my fren who knew the fray! they went to her church :)

fuzzi wuzzie

slack :)
that describes today. woke up at 1.30pm!! SUCH a gd rest. went for The Fray concert in the evening at purdue university..2hrs drive away from here. it was a pretty cool uni. huge! and their music hall (where the concert was held) was awesomely majestic! amazing. the concert was pretty good. they're great live. but not so much the energy from the crowd. everyone was pretty dead. dunno why!

anw the looonng drive there and back made me think. why on earth did God put me in taylor university??? it's such a ulu place. surrounded by ulu-ness. i always thought the college experience would be the best years of my life - having fun n doing crazy stuff n all, but...here i am in the middle of nowhere with cornfields. not that it isn't fun here. it is! and i've met so many great pple.

but it's just..different from what i expected. wondering if i should transfer...i don't know...not as if my parents would let me anyway. but we really do live in the 'taylor bubble' despite arguments to the contrary. we're just stuck in this little world all by our own, so sheltered and protected from the 'real world'. then what happens when we do finally go out into the world to work..won't we be shocked by all the stuff that's goin on because we're too used to being surrounded by christians and good pple? feel like i need to go out into the world and experience stuff!! but at the same time..the world's pretty scary and part of me likes being protected here. plus there are all these wonderful ministry opportunities here that would be hard to obtain elsewhere.

so..i realize i'm probably being selfish. wanting to have fun and do what i want instead of obeying God's call for me to be here at taylor and do what He wants. sigh. it's just hard i guess. still not really used to living in surburbia america. so much more boring than s'pore could ever be.

tingles in my toes

random title. haha. this wk's been...slowwww so far. so slow! class is so slow and boring. well the stuff we're learning is pretty interesting..all those experiments on animals and children. so poor thing. but 2 1/2 hrs of class everyday! ugh. that can make even the best class tiring. but should be pretty easy to ace. all we have to go is turn up and hand in hw everyday and automatically we get 300/500 pts. coolness. plus the quizzes aren't all that bad.

watched the devil wears prada..pretty cool movie! learnt how to write a cheque (dun laugh!) to pay my overdue credit card bills. haha. i'm becoming independent! proud of me :) tried to grind out a schedule to go workout, but...the gym's just too far away! and it's too cold to go anywhere but my room. the wind blew today and i thought my ears were gonna drop off. u know how in movies they always show pple who freeze in cold temperatures and their ears turn black and fall off? so freaky. thought that would happen to me. so i tried to cover my ears with my hands. but then they turned numb. so that didn't work out so well. haha. should learn to cover up more. sweating buckets under an overabundance of layers is a much preferred option to shivering intensely under insufficient layers. :)
anw i did spend a few hours in the music room yesterday. therapeutic time for myself and God. and my guit :)

today went for gospel choir prac! for martin luther king jr day, which is..coming up soon i think. my first MLK day. haha. not even a holiday can! at least not for my class. sad. but we're gonna be singing for chapel. yay! quite fun..never been in a choir before!!! but it's so unbelievably hard. i'm supposed to sing alto but then i hear the tenor voices beside me and the next thing i know, i'm happily and obliviously singing tenor with them too. haha. and then i affect people next to me, and it spreads like the plague. so the alto voices disappear even though there are more altos than others.

~give me one pure and holy passion
give me one magnificent obsession
give me one glorious ambition for my life
to know and follow hard after YOU~

thanksgiving for 2006

Dear Lord,

What can I say, besides a heartfelt thank You
for the ups and downs You've brought me through
This last year was an incredible experience of joy, hope, faith, love
Breaking out with help from Your hand above.
In You I found
Perseverance
Determination
Inspiration
In You I found
The strength that lifted me when I was down.
I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see
When Your love, Your touch, Your presence was lost to me.
In pieces
I surrendered all to You.

All my fears, struggles, burdens and pain
You simply washed them away like the rain
Comforting me in Your tight embrace.
I can never understand the purpose of Your ways
Why certain things cause tears streaming down my face everyday
Why certain people fill me with hurt and doubt at what they say
It's been an overwhelming journey
And through it all, You've been with me
Given me an amazing, supportive, loving family.
My hands, my heart, my life, my all
I continue to offer unto You as I answer Your call
With all I am, to love You
With all I have, to serve You
You're all that I live for
Your unconditional love wraps around me - I couldn't ask for more

To start this year right, my life is Yours for the taking.
All praise and glory be to our awesome God! :)

end of week one!

so fast..one wk has flown by! s'pore seems so far away again..had my first quiz on fri. got 8/10 not bad! haha. but the one tmr's gonna be a killer. for me at least. the stuff is so boring! something about brains and neurons and all that. plus i've nv taken bio before, so..i'm hoping i get to learn about crazy people and get into the minds of terrorists soon. haha.

went to walmart twice this weekend! got lots of stuff! mum - be proud of me! i got healthy foods!! totally resisted the urge to buy chocolate or cookies or any of that evil stuff. didn't even buy ONE bar! can u tell i'm bursting with pride and joy at my strong and determined will!! only got like fruits, yogurt, granola bars..and they are pretty yummy! :) plus i got a hotpot (american for 'kettle') and yay!

more maggi mee/ramen. haha. i didn't know it was possible, but i think DC food actually got worse. it's soggy and greasy and mushy all at the same time. ughhh. anw u should see the huge pile of food behind me now. don't know how i'm ever gonna finish it.

it's been raining alot. really cold and wet. can hear the mud squishing beneath my boots. which by the way i think looks manly! sad. but yesterday's weather was awesome! i took a step outside and was blown away by the fresh air and lovely cold-but-not-so-cold temperature! it smelled wonderful too..like disneyland. haha. so..yesterday i helped cook korean food for a couple of pple in this really nice professor's house. so yummy! except for the raw squid!! think my clothes are gonna perpetually smell like oil. watched a movie aft that. really tired now. think my flu's starting to act up again. need to get sleep!

kay..one last thing. SUPER duper excited to go to NEW YORK for interterm break! which is from 26jan to 30jan. heh. not very long, but still! NYC here i come! so cool! cuz my parents are on some matchmaking conference there..plus cartoon's coming with me! yayy! shopping! broadway!!! :)

pics!

1st day~

today was alright. reunited with old friends! :) back to horrid DC food. still sick though. pls pray that i'll get well soon! not fun being sick alone away from home! anw class was cool. only taking one class this term, cuz it's only one month. taking intro to psychology! 2 1/2 hrs, 4 days a wk. i have thurs completely free!! yay! which means tmr i get to sleep in until..whenever i wanna get up!! haha. think it'll be pretty slack. no major tests. just a quiz every lesson abt the previous lesson..not so bad. plus the prof's really nice n funny. cant wait to learn more. i've always wanted to learn abt psychology! maybe i'll change my major to psych..if i dun need to take stats. A level stats was traumatic enough. or maybe christian education. see how my class goes next semester..cuz i'm taking intro to christian ed.

anw i dunno how to put up the pics we all took..joce flickr doesn't work!! do u want me to email them to u all?

and OMG this guy told me today that he saw me on tv clubbing!! thought he was bluffing, but then he was like, i didn't know u went clubbing..u dun look like the clubbing kind..so how would i know unless i really saw u on tv?
so weird!!! he said he saw it on cnn sumore! in dec. haha. but i only went once in dec..to MOS..and i didn't see any tv crews or whatever there..

back to sch...

i'm back..safe n sound..and dead tired after the worst trip of my life!!! first the stupid tv at my seat didn't work..had to go through all the trouble of changing into a new seat. then the girl next to me kept invading my space n elbowing me. then i couldn't sleep well cuz was having a flu n sore throat n cramps. then for all 4 flights my ears couldn't pop so the air pressure made my ears pain until wanna die!!! all 4 flights!! going up and coming down!! it was all torturous. until now still cannot hear properly. abit muffled. anw really tired. just wanted to say i'm safe back in my room. goin to sleep now. tmr class at 1. nite :)

going homee!

yay! tmr's the day! really excited. dunno how am i gonna get to sleep. not gonna sleep much on the plane! must make full use of all the free movies! haha. spoken like a true kiasu singaporean :) so glad finals are over! now i get to watch prison break without being disturbed. haha. campus is so empty..almost everyone's left alrdy. except me! bored out of my mind.
anw..wanna thank God for my grades. didn't work that hard..so i prob didn't deserve it..but i got all As. except in expos writing i got a B. i just can't do grammar. i can crap out stuff, but dun ask me abt the technical side of writing. ugh.

can't believe how fast time flies! seems like just yesterday i was saying gdbye to everyone..and now i'm goin back! unbelievable.
God has been unbelievably gd to me. kept me going even though there were times when i was down. but i'm really thankful for everything that happened this term..gd and bad. it's been a crazy wonderful experience~ :)

too excited to sleep!

yupyup!!! aaahh. too excited to anything but pack n get ready to leave!!!!! have expository writing finals tmr but who the heck cares when i'm going home soon!!!!! altho pretty sure i'm gonna be so dead tmr cuz i dunno anything about grammar. haha. whateverrr. i've been getting straight As in that class but all because of this stupid research paper i spent all my life on, i now have a B+. cuz she said i plagiarized. grrrrr. my whole class plagiarized, in fact. heh. i guess i admit i did plagiarize..only cuz all the info was too boring to read thru! sigh. B's fine anyway.

today was so stupid. woke up at the break of dawn at 7.40am for my 8 o'clock public speaking final. grrrr. so mad. why can't they make the finals later in the day? am so glad my next semester schedule has no early classes. i'll nv make it thru the whole semester if i have an 8am class. so tired i just went there in my pyjamas n rushed thru it n got done in like 15 mins. haha. then went back n crawled back into bed. but cannot sleep!! even tho i really really need the sleep, nowadays i just can't fall asleep. dunno why. must be the excitement. so gave up tossing n turning n guess what i did.... i watched prison break!! am on episode 18 now!! went thru 18 eps in 3days! am i good or am i good?? :)

so just finished packing. sort of. yayy!!! my suitcase is pretty light for some unexpected reason. thot it'll be heavy until cannot lift up. got into a semi-panic when i couldn't find my passport. but i found it!! now i'm just sittin here waitin for fri morn to come!~!~ok goin back to PB! and then maybe study. :)

prison break!

my new addiction on tv...prison break! omg. such a great show!!! hot guy + thrilling plot = me stuck in my room all day watching prison break season 1. haha. at such a bad time too!! on finals week i get addicted to so many shows! but seriously. so interesting the plot! abt this guy who purposely commits a crime so he can go to prison n get his bro, who's on deathrow, out. so cool! anw..chem final went ok. really glad to get it over with.

ate thai food today! yay! cartoon's mum is soo nice..she flew all the way here just to pick her up n go all the way back to china! i wish my mum would do that! haha. but then again..i shld be independent n learn to fly on my own. plus i'll get to shop in JFK! hopefully there's gd stuff there to buy :)

ok..just wanted to say how incredibly excited i am to go home! seems so close yet so far! time is crawling by! well actually not..since i've watched like 6 40-min episodes of prison break ystdy n 6 more today. haha. back to watching! and then start studying for public speaking. haven't done anything yet. heh. and it's tmr 8am!!!!ugh. hate morn classes. so gonna wake up at 7.55 n walk there in my pyjamas.