Lessons i've learnt from movies

You know, movies, music, tv shows...all that stuff is really impactful. (at least the good, non-trashy ones are)
there have been so many times where i'm watching a movie, and something profound just strikes me, and it provokes all kinds of thoughts about life, love, people, everything. or when i'm feeling down and out, and i hear a song, and it just lifts my spirits and puts a smile on my face.
You know what? I really wanna do that for someone. be the creator THAT song, of THAT movie, of THAT something that touches other people and inspires them to greater things.
I don't know..just been doing a lot of thinking about the future lately.

so I saw 'the secret life of bees' in theaters over fall break, and there was this particular scene where one of the sisters killed herself, because she couldn't take living in this world without her twin, who had died earlier. and the two sisters left were mourning her death, and one sister said to the other something like, 'we shouldn't be selfish. we should let her go where she can be with her twin and be happy again.'

and it's kinda unrelated, but this question just popped into my mind - Am i being selfish for wanting to live out my life my own way? instead of... going the expected route. doing the normal, ordinary thing. going home and working a desk job forever. Am i selfish for wanting to break out of the norm, leave home and do something big for God? Am i selfish for upsetting people in the process of working towards what i feel God wants me to do? then why is it so hard??

and then i was watching 'The nanny diaries' today while taking a break from doing homework...and this song came on during the credits:

~wake up one morning you realize
your life is one big compromise
stuck in the job you swore was only temporary

feel like the world is passing u by
never done all the things u wanted to try
stuck in one place
got a pain in your face from all your stressing out

you ask yourself there's gotta be more than what i'm living for
you ask yourself there's gotta be something else, something more~

And i was like... i don't wanna compromise. i don't wanna settle. i had a really good conversation with a good friend of mine on friday night. we were supposed to work on an assignment, but we ended up just sitting in his car and talking for more than 2 hours. about life. he shared alot about his struggles and stuff..

and one thing he said to me was, 'you know what my greatest fear in life is? that i will settle for something instead of doing what i really want.'
That's exactly MY thoughts too! i don't wanna do something just cuz it's the right thing to do, or everyone wants me to do it, or it's the easy way out, or it's what's expected of me.

and then i watched high school musical 3 on its opening day (friday!), and the theater was swamped with little kids. haha. but anyway, i remember thinking something about the future when i watched it, but i can't remember now. haha.

so yeah. i'm just rambling. other than that, this weekend's been pretty fun. went to chili's for dinner (my first time) on fri, it was GOOD! :) and then last night went to flattop in fort wayne for beka's 20th birthday. flattop is this awesome restaurant where u pick all the ingredients and stuff u want like noodles, rice, meat, veggies, sauce, and they fry it all and mix it for u. yummy. and today we had a DDR partyyy on the wing. so basically have tons of overdue hw waiting for me.

need to go finish my ad campaign now. marketing natural perfume to older affluent women. oh joy.

Back to reality

cartoon and i waiting in line to get into Cedarpoint!

the headless horseman in cedarpoint. creeppyyyyy

we found a statue in cedarpoint that said TAYLOR! :)

upi, cartoon, me, gabe. asians!

another creepy halloween deco outside the theme park.

So. Fall break was surprisingly tiring. drove to Cleveland, Ohio in 2 vans with a bunch of international students. took like 5+++hours to get there! slept most of the way. got lost a few times. but we eventually reached the Comfort Inn, where we stayed for fri and sat night. it was....rather sketchy, to say the least. some people found a HOLE in their room, where any stranger could creep into their room from the outside. scary! there were a few creepy strangers wandering the hall too. but we squeezed like 5 people in each room, so there was power in numbers. haha. i roomed with 4 other girls. 4 of us squished on the queen sized bed, one on the cot. good bonding times! :)

Friday night we had dinner at T.G.I. Fridays! which was pretty good. never been there before. normal western food. best thing about going on a trip with ISS (international student society)? they pay for EVERYTHING! food, lodging, movie, theme park, etc. it was a great free trip :) watched 'The secret life of bees' at some mall after that. was a pretty good movie. really touching. tears were flowing. (not from me but others) dakota fanning is SUCH a good actress! and she's like, what, 12??

Sat was shopping dayyy!! bought a coat, jacket, scarf, jeans, fall clothes. cuz it's getting cold. sad! also, went to Hot Topic, this store that caters to punk/emo/goth people cuz it's all dark n scary inside. bought fake clip on purple and blue hair!! so i can finally have purple hair!!! maybe on halloween. can't wait! :)

Went to Cedarpoint, the most awesomest theme park, in the evening. was super cold, and even under my bundles and layers, i was shivering. the theme park was sooo cool. it was all decked out in halloween stuff too, since halloween is 2 weeks away. creepy people roaming the streets scaring others, creepy decorations everywhere. it was SO crowded though. only got to sit on 3 rollercoasters (which were all awesome. adrenaline rush!!!) cuz the lines everywhere were at least an hour long. oh well. good conversations came out of that :) they had this one ride, which shoots u up VERTICAL and u come down VERTICAL too. it looked SO AWESOME but no one dared to go on it with me. seriously! i need to find some friends with guts!

Sun morn we began our intense drive back. sooo tired even though i slept in the van alot. was pretty grumpy on sun night cuz i had to do interviews n stuff for another article on another important council meeting at Taylor. arrrggghhhh. but then i decided to forget it all and still be on fall break. so i ignored my work and watched 'shawshank redemption' instead. it was a really good movie!!

and today was an ok day. pretty busy. can't wait for this week to be over.

TGIB - thank God it's break

last weekend, when we went to Thai Smile for levi's bday, we got into car trouble during our 1/2 hr drive there. the car engine just started overheating and massive amounts of smoke clouded our windscreen. KINDA SCARY!!!

levi's all happy n optimistic about it. we had to stop and check out the engine and put water in some tube. (obviously i don't know anything abt cars. i just stood around n took pics) and this nice biker guy stopped and helped us.

levi and claire at thai smile! awesome thai food! actually pretty authentic! except for their supposed 'curry puffs' which were more like fried little squares with something unidentifiable inside that didn't taste like curry at all.

claire, cartoon n me.

YAYYYY!!!! my break officially started today. at noon. when my last class ended. all my classes for tmr were cancelled! awesomeness :))) so i watched Camp Rock with a bunch of girls just now. sooo cheesy but it was fun.
this week's been really relaxing! although i had a presentation on mon (which i got an A+ for!!!) and 2 tests yesterday (which were pretty easy).

omggg. NEWS OF THE WEEK. first, background info. Taylor has 2 campuses. Upland is the bigger campus, where i am. it's also in the middle of nowhere, and it's more expensive. Fort Wayne is the smaller, cheaper one, with only 500 students, about 1/4 of our size. and it's in the city.

SO. we got breaking news that Taylor Fort Wayne is CLOSING DOWN. yes, no more TUFW. kapoot. just like that. it was such shocking news!! and yet so many TU upland people didn't know or didn't care. but it affected the TUFW people SO badly. how do i know? i have a class at TUFW. why else would i know/care about this?? anw apparently they've been in debts for a while. the Upland campus has been giving them $1million a year. accumulating up to $15million right now. (and now i realize where my expensive tuition fee goes to). so Upland can't afford to keep subsidizing their costs...so they're shutting them down. next year in may. and the students will either come here or transfer somewhere else.

so they got the news on mon. we had class there on tue. naturally, all 4 of us were pretty....nervous. not sure what to expect. cuz we heard the students were pretty mad/upset. well, i would be too, if my school was freaking CLOSING DOWN all of a sudden!!
so yeah. it was a pretty interesting experience. they talked about it in class. some were angry, some upset, some bitter, some super choked up and emotional... yup. feel really bad for them.

AND another really interesting thing that happened in class... so we were sharing our personal testimonies, which we had written. not testimonies in the traditional sense, but just something significant that happened in our lives that God used to teach us/help us grow/draw us closer to Him, etc.
so this guy (one of the more normal guys in the class) comes up, and he's like, this is called my 'untestimony'. and he proceeds to talk about how he's a christian, but he doesn't really believe in God, he hasn't had any significant event with God in his life, basically i don't really think he's a christian. and we were like...uhhh ok. totally don't understand why he would choose to go to Taylor fort wayne, A TEENY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL, if he didn't believe in God n all that. the world is filled with such interesting people.

Also, the sharing testimonies part made me realize there's quite a part of my life i've never actually shared with...anyone. that revelation surprised me. i guess i'm not very open about my past. thought about sharing it on my blog, but perhaps not. it's rather impersonal to write it down here for goodness knows who to read.

anyway. CAN'T WAIT TO 'MAKE LIKE A FOETUS AND HEAD OUT' TO CEDARPOINT, OHIO ON FRI!! it's fall break!! and i'm gonna be at the best theme park in the US!!!!!! for free!!! super excited.
(the 'make like a foetus and head out' quote was courtesy of dereck. i thought it was super funny when he first said it. laughed like mad.)

VIDEOS + Pics

AIRBAND PICS!!!!

3East olson and a bunch of guys dancing to their 'rain medley' - umbrella, it's raining men, singing in the rain

This super cool group dancing hip hop to supersonic by family force 5

Gerig and their dramatic 'deliver us' from the prince of egypt. they won 2nd place. drama mama.

Dancing to 'joyful joyful' from sister act 2

The winning act - 2EZ and their awesomely funny step in time from mary poppins

Our lion king act dancing on stage. i'm the zebra in the middle.

our awesome ending. rafiki holding up little simba. she was the CUTEST little baby!!!! :)

Men in Black.

girls dancing to 'morris brown' by outkast. it was freaking awesome.

3rd place act - glowsticks n strobe lights n dancing to daft punk.

I love relaxing weekends where u just sit around and do NOTHING but catch up on tv shows!! absolutely delightful :)

so..i can't figure out how to put up videos on my blog...so i'll just put the links. the quality isn't the best, but oh..great memories. haha.
Here's our International students AIRBAND performance of the lion king medley!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amtb6L9sqtQ

and if u wanna watch, here's the winners of Airband...2nd east wengatz! with step in time from mary poppins. they're hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeuM17-2tT4

and this is a totally hilarious Airband commercial that some guys filmed. a homemade mtv to 'bleeding love' by leona lewis. haha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n30y5R6DPo

and last but not least, a totally random video from my birthday weekend. dancing in andrew's car to 'the way i are'!!! love that song.

i NEED a break

i really do. so tired of having so much work EVERY day of EVERY week!! it never stops! mostly cuz of working for the Echo. newspaper work is so tiring!! i don't know how anyone can do this for a living! but then again, i get a sense of pride in seeing my work published and my name in print. it's pretty cool to have people come up to me and be like, hey! i recognize your name! you're in the newspaper! i guess i have a love/hate relationship with writing. :)

talking about publishing, i wrote a movie review for this god-awful christian movie, The Touch, for my freelance writing class. and my prof liked it! so he sent it to Church Libraries, and they're gonna PUBLISH MY REVIEW in the december christmas issue of the magazine!!!!!!! i'm so excited. so what if i'm only getting published in small christian publications?? starting small and working up is the way to go!

oh. and if you go to www.taylor.edu, you'll see my article on my school's website!! it's called 'Council meeting gives students global perspective'. I wrote it for The Echo, and the Director of media relations at Taylor liked it, so he put it on the website!!
CLICK ON IT to read it!
i just thought it was pretty cool seeing my article on the front page of Taylor's website :)

this week been superrr busy preparing for AIRBAND!!! which was freakin awesome. we just got done doing two shows. tiring!! someone filmed us, so i'll put up the link to our performance soon!! I WAS THE ZEBRA in lion king!! haha. so glad we're done with all the rehearsals. everyone was awesome though. the dancing and performances were sooo good!! and we were the first act!!! whoo hooo!!! was on an adrenaline high just now. super tired now. only one class tmr!

PICS FROM AIRBAND :)

sarah, cait (who were in Gerig's 'Prince of Egypt - Deliver us' performance. they were AWESOME!), me (the zebra!!) and cartoon (who did Daft Punk's 'harder, better, faster, stronger' with strobe lights and glowsticks n all!!)

Dan (who was Simba!! complete with flips and jumps n crazy stuff. and he has a crazy awesome tongue stud) and mark (our fake drummer)

Jordan (she's a bird) and me

me,cartoon,dan,mark. waiting downstairs for our turn to perform!!

April (the other zebra!), anne (a creepy hyena), and me (a scared zebra)

Zebras!! with furry tails and white duct tape on our black costumes! :) everyone loved our face paint. Sooo many random people came up to me and were like, 'I LOVE ZEBRAS! you're awesome!' haha. i didn't know zebras were so popular.

Rhona (who was an awesome rafiki. just LOOK at her costume and face paint!) and me. waiting for our second performance.

Liz (who performed a super awesomely slick hip hop dance to Semisonic. they creeped me out the first time i saw it. just look at their masks!!)

me, rafiki's stick, and jordan!

Liz and Athena (she was a gazelle :)

Why

Why are some people always bent on breaking the rules? Why do some people never grow up? Why do some people call themselves Christians but don't act like one? Why do some people behave the way they do? Why am i so agitated now?

i'm tired of being the easy-going, happy-go-lucky peaceful mediator. i'm just sick of some people. maybe i need to get mad and flare up once in a while so people stop taking me for granted and start taking me seriously. i hate confrontations. makes me, the middle person, feel very awkward and uncomfortable.

you know what else i don't like? having guy friends like me. makes me feel, once again, very awkward cuz it's hard to...let them down easy and still remain friends.




i wonder if i'm starting to regret not doing anything sooner
sometimes i just wish you'd grow up
junior year is definitely full of.... interesting experiences.

i guess there's a first time for everything.

(more details later. when i'm not so upset)

birthday weekend

all-danced out from the hoedown at the retreat. i actually did some square dancing. and it was actually fun! :) playing spoons in the dark

our asian version of the nativity story. ian (the guy in the middle) was baby Jesus. haha

roasting hotdogs around the campfire. love fires.

worship team on sunday morning. we were all pretty much dead from no sleep last night

pretending to be drunk. haha

hanging out with random guy at random bridge.

hoodies

around the campfire

in the car on the way to get yellow n pink hairdye at walmart (can't wait to streak my hair!!) and see 'Eagle Eye' in theatres!!! it just came out today! and it was awesome. everyone shld go see it. sooo intense.

cartoon's camera aiming skills are poor, as u can see.

andrew's imitation of my evil rocker face

GANGSTA friday!!!

mark n me. singaporeans!

sad faces

awesome jump shot. cartoon, sam, me

gangster faces

ooh i love kimbab!

tryna look cool outside the souphouse

love cartoon's gangster outfit :)

happy gangsters

susan chasing us out of the kitchen cuz we were useless. haha

bored waiting for kimbab to be ready

this weekend was really fun. hanging out on friday..retreat from saturday till today...even though i'm not a fan of camping, it was fun roasting hotdogs n marshmallows by the fire, worshipping arnd the fire, going for walks in the woods, sleeping in the bus, climbing trees, square dancing at the hoedown, hanging out with awesome people :)

i'm 21! one life, live it :)