going homee!

yay! tmr's the day! really excited. dunno how am i gonna get to sleep. not gonna sleep much on the plane! must make full use of all the free movies! haha. spoken like a true kiasu singaporean :) so glad finals are over! now i get to watch prison break without being disturbed. haha. campus is so empty..almost everyone's left alrdy. except me! bored out of my mind.
anw..wanna thank God for my grades. didn't work that hard..so i prob didn't deserve it..but i got all As. except in expos writing i got a B. i just can't do grammar. i can crap out stuff, but dun ask me abt the technical side of writing. ugh.

can't believe how fast time flies! seems like just yesterday i was saying gdbye to everyone..and now i'm goin back! unbelievable.
God has been unbelievably gd to me. kept me going even though there were times when i was down. but i'm really thankful for everything that happened this term..gd and bad. it's been a crazy wonderful experience~ :)

too excited to sleep!

yupyup!!! aaahh. too excited to anything but pack n get ready to leave!!!!! have expository writing finals tmr but who the heck cares when i'm going home soon!!!!! altho pretty sure i'm gonna be so dead tmr cuz i dunno anything about grammar. haha. whateverrr. i've been getting straight As in that class but all because of this stupid research paper i spent all my life on, i now have a B+. cuz she said i plagiarized. grrrrr. my whole class plagiarized, in fact. heh. i guess i admit i did plagiarize..only cuz all the info was too boring to read thru! sigh. B's fine anyway.

today was so stupid. woke up at the break of dawn at 7.40am for my 8 o'clock public speaking final. grrrr. so mad. why can't they make the finals later in the day? am so glad my next semester schedule has no early classes. i'll nv make it thru the whole semester if i have an 8am class. so tired i just went there in my pyjamas n rushed thru it n got done in like 15 mins. haha. then went back n crawled back into bed. but cannot sleep!! even tho i really really need the sleep, nowadays i just can't fall asleep. dunno why. must be the excitement. so gave up tossing n turning n guess what i did.... i watched prison break!! am on episode 18 now!! went thru 18 eps in 3days! am i good or am i good?? :)

so just finished packing. sort of. yayy!!! my suitcase is pretty light for some unexpected reason. thot it'll be heavy until cannot lift up. got into a semi-panic when i couldn't find my passport. but i found it!! now i'm just sittin here waitin for fri morn to come!~!~ok goin back to PB! and then maybe study. :)

prison break!

my new addiction on tv...prison break! omg. such a great show!!! hot guy + thrilling plot = me stuck in my room all day watching prison break season 1. haha. at such a bad time too!! on finals week i get addicted to so many shows! but seriously. so interesting the plot! abt this guy who purposely commits a crime so he can go to prison n get his bro, who's on deathrow, out. so cool! anw..chem final went ok. really glad to get it over with.

ate thai food today! yay! cartoon's mum is soo nice..she flew all the way here just to pick her up n go all the way back to china! i wish my mum would do that! haha. but then again..i shld be independent n learn to fly on my own. plus i'll get to shop in JFK! hopefully there's gd stuff there to buy :)

ok..just wanted to say how incredibly excited i am to go home! seems so close yet so far! time is crawling by! well actually not..since i've watched like 6 40-min episodes of prison break ystdy n 6 more today. haha. back to watching! and then start studying for public speaking. haven't done anything yet. heh. and it's tmr 8am!!!!ugh. hate morn classes. so gonna wake up at 7.55 n walk there in my pyjamas.

i shld be sleeping!

haha yup i really should. have an 8am final chem exam tmr. but..i'm not used to sleeping early! so awake now! haha. finished studying chem! can't wait to burn the book! or sell it back to the bookstore n get my $$ back!~was so hard to study in my room. so distracted by my com n all the shows i could watch on youtube. haha.

had sticky rice n bubble tea (w/out pearls) for dinner..(obviously not from the DC) reminded me so much of food at home!! aaahhh! i think these last few days of term are the absolute HARDEST. it's like so near yet so far!!!! dreaming of all the food i'll be able to bring back for j-term :) makes me happyyy!!! ok that's all. haha. gonna try to sleep now.

:)

omg i totally shouldn't be here!! shld be studyin right now! chem final tmr. ughhhh. so dun feel like reading about polymers.
have been slacking the entire weekend. heh. haven't started studying for anything at all!!! i haven't changed. still as last min as ever.

fri we had our final group presentation for public speaking!!! sooo relieved it's over. i learnt alot..but was a pretty stressful class for me at times. plus i was the last to speak on a fri (last class day) morn. so of cuz there were pple freakin' sleeping when i was talking. so rude can! but i talked fast n got it over with. haha. yayYY!! there was a superbly horrendously long queue at dinnertime. i guess the kiasu spirit is everywhere, not just s'pore. went for silent nite! which is actually a guys bball game. it's like a TU tradition. everyone goes to the game in their pyjamas. and of cuz the guys took that to a whole new level. wearing bathrobes n dressing up n stuff. haha. so we all keep quiet until our team scores the 10th basket then everyone gets up n goes crazy. haha. was pretty fun. for the first few mins. aft that i got bored. just dun like watchin sports.

the guys were entertaining though. some guy dressed up as a fairy n flapped his wings everytime the other team tried to score. he distracted them for a while. but it didn't work mostly. haha. got really tired. haven't got much sleep this wk. having trouble sleeping. dunno why. but didn't get to bed till like 2+ cuz watched beauty n the beast w cartoon arnd midnight. heh.

sat went to alicia's house off campus. such a quaint house! i so wanna live off campus w frens when i'm a senior!! get my own living room n room n kitchen n everything. altho i'll have to clean up aft myself. heh. we decorated cookies! watched charlie brown. so cute :) am pretty much sick of cookies right now. been eating way too many christmas cookies. slacked arnd in my dorm in the afternoon..was gonna study..but somehow..time just flew by n i did nothing. haha. that seems to happen alot. went to ivanhoe's (ice cream place) in the evening with ISS (international students). last time we're gonna meet! till next term that is. they treated us to free ice cream! so nice :)

got back to campus n managed to watch the last part of the ~joys of christmas~ concert. the jazz ensemble was pretty cool. i wanna learn drums for jazz!! so..was planning to study when i got back to my room. but somehow..cartoon came over n we had an impromptu dance party. ahahaha. just the two of us. was hilarious.

watched ~my best friend's wedding~ n ate tom yum noodles! and bubble tea that we bought frm an asian market! but without the pearls cuz didn't wanna open it all at once. yummieee. didn't get to bed till 2 cuz we braided my hair aft that. haha. it's kinda wavy now but gonna wash it out. so fun to experiment w hair! sung ah curled her hair ystdy. cute! :)

ok shld really really go study now. sighhhhh. lookin forward to next weekkkkk!!! aaaahhhhh!!
but then..kinda apprehensive about travelling alone. heh. pray for me k! never travelled alone before! dun wanna get randomly arrested or get lost in the airport or miss my flight!

yayy again!

yay so happy! realized in exactly ONE WEEK i'll be on a plane HOMEEEEE!aaahhh.
can't believe it's so fast. i've said this 1001 times but i still can't believe it!!
4+months have flown by since i left s'pore. seems short but feels fast.so excited abt goin home i keep beaming every few seconds. or smiling secretly to myself. haha. hope pple don't think i'm mad. but i am! mad abt goin home! yayyy again!!

ystdy a grp in class gave a speech on aliens existing. haha. was pretty funny. can't wait for fri so my grp speech can be over!! dunno if i've said this b4 but we're doin on music. i love music~
had gerig open hse..i didn't really do much to help out with the deco.heh.went over to english to see their open hse. was really cool. different wings had different themes..like candyland..nightmare before christmas..and of cuz they had plenty of cookies! i love christmas cookies!

went back to gerig. my suite was doin this nail n massage salon spa thingy..so i painted pple's nails. n there was this guy who was super funny! like he knew more abt beauty n nails n everything more than the girls..haha. was really amusing.
then at 11 we had this eggnog contest in the lounge. was pretty hyped up. alot of pple came. had like 8 contestants..and they kept downing eggnog until they puked. that was the only way to get outta the contest - by puking. so gross can!!
so we got to see every single one of them puke. was gross but entertaining. hahahha.
some pple nearly puked just by watching them puke. i've nv tried eggnog but after this i dun wanna try it. ever. the winner downed like 23 cups. ew.

today was our last foundations of christian thought test!yay!it was a pretty boring class, but i learnt quite abit.abt the different worldviews. like some completely stupid ones like pantheism - everything is an illusion. this keyboard tt i'm typing on doesn't actually exist. suffering dun exist. we're all one with the universe. altogether now - ommmmm...
:)

yay! all better!

thanks for all ur prayers! i'm feelin much better now! :) had a horrid headache ystdy. the weird thing is, i feel sick-ish when i'm in my room, but once i go out into the cold air n talk to pple i feel much better. heh. anw the sore throat's gone, so that's gd.

this wk's so full of stuff! esp open houses. that's like when all the dorms are open for anyone to go see..so like guys can go to girls' dorms n vice versa. some dorms had pretty sweet decorations. penthouse was like the best. they must've spent days on it!! cuz they transformed the whole hallway into like this medieval theme thingy..with dragons and castle walls and shields and even a well in the middle of nowhere. was really cool. not christmas-y, but still cool.

ooh and i started wearing my thicker jacket nowadays..cuz it's been snowing. the sidewalks are all frosted over. super duper cold. esp when the wind blows all the snow flurries into ur face. ugh. totally stinging. so anw i look really poofyy!!! like a big huge ball with so many layers. hahah. but whatever. i'd rather be ugly n warm than look nice n freeze to death.

too much stuff to do this wk. final presentation for public speaking..ughhhh. really want it to be over soon!! and have to re-do my expos paper cuz the teacher said i plagiarized!! what an insult! well..actually it's probably true. i mostly copied and pasted lotsa stuff. haha. was just hoping she wouldn't find out. sighh. now have to go thru it again. i hate the topic of child abuse. i've read everything about it TO DEATH. so sick of it! really wanting next thur to come..cuz that means all the finals are over n i get to go home! still need to find a ride to the airport, though. can't believe time flies by so fast. feels like just yesterday we were having orientation. now the semester's almost over! and i actually haven't seen my family n friends n abt 5 months! whoaaa.

anw..ILOVECHRISTMAS!~

sick

this weekend was ok..just that i fell sick. still sick now. sore throat n feverish. and it doesn't help that the weather's dropping to 20F..which is like below 0 degrees celsius.so super cold that it snowed ystdy and the pavement was all icy. plus i have 2 presentations to make this wk, a test and 2 papers due. such bad timing. pls pray for me! guess all that junk food finally took a toll on my health. i hate being sick.

...

ok so i realized my blog's gettin kinda annoyingly big n slow..so deleted some pics since pple have alrdy seen them..
anw..this wk's been slow.and yet fast.really really cant wait for christmas!! haven't got much sleep this wk even though i dun have much hw.guess why???been watching tv shows on youtube. like america's next top model! and one tree hill! haha.
next wk's gonna suck..2 grp presentations..a few papers due n a test. ugh. but whatever. can't wait to go hommmeee!!!! :))))

ystdy we had this christmas banquet thingy..pple were all dressed up n stuff. but i didn't really care. my cramps was bugging me to death. first time since i've been here that it hurts so bad. sighhh. and i thought it was gone. sometimes i just dun understand why God lets me go through so much pain every single month. why me..so unfair. especially when most other pple i know never even experience this kinda pain before. this time was especially bad. got all nauseated n giddy n everything. ugh.
but..took a pill. it helped. feel like an escapist though. dun usually take the pills. but just didn't wanna be in pain the whole day.
so...went to see taylor chorale perform last nite..was ok. kinda fell asleep. heh.

flight

ooh forgot to say..
COMING HOME ON 17DEC 7AM!!! aaaahhhh!! only like 3 more wks! super duper excitedddd :) :) :) :)
can't wait! miss u all!! miss the food too!! miss the gd old sunny weather too!
but lookin forward to the flight though.
have to transfer flight FOUR times plus wait SIX hours at newyork JFK airport. uggghhhhh. hope i can make it for youth service on sun!~!~!!~!~!~!~

thanksgiving~~

give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever~
thank You Lord for being with me thru everything. just like You promised, since You brought me to it, You'll bring me through it. thank You for family and friends and everyone that i love! :)

am in the midst of thanksgiving break now..at faith's house. (the fren i knew in pri sch) with cartoon n sung ah :) 3 hours drive from taylor. having asian partayy! haha. gd food. went to the park yesterday. been a lonnnggg time since i cycled! haha. thanksgiving dinner was gd..i love turkey! the family invited two other chinese couples over. they were so chinese! haha. like china chinese. the little girlie was adorableeee!! ate till i was stuffed. :)

it's been a gd relaxing break. not much hw too! read psalms 24 yesterday..something it said struck me - the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.
everything i have belongs to the Lord. and He has blessed me with so much, but He can take away easily too. so thank You Lord for all the blessings in my life. help me to use what You've given me for Your glory~

EXCITED

so excited so excited so excitedddd!!!! aahhhh!!!
thanksgiving break starts tmr!! well it started already for me since i dun have any classes tmr!~!~ aaahhh!!!
a week long break!~!~~! who wouldn't be excited???
kinda missed class today cuz was too absorbed on my com. haha. who cares abt chemistry anyway.

met my global engagement family..or at least one person from the family. it's this thing where they pair up international students with families here..to make them suffer or smth. haha. i didn't ask to be paired up but they gave me a family anyway. heh. guess they figured i couldn't turn them down if they alrdy assigned me one. oh well. she's really nice though. she's the off campus coordinator..and i'm thinkin of goin to aust for music studies or washington for their journalism program so talked to her abit abt that. had a nice lunch with her at ivanhoe's. plus she treated me! so nice of her :)

just got back from watchin half of 'the island' with rebecca..freaky movie. so like brave new world. i've never been this free in my life!! nothing to do!! dun even have hw..or much of it..during the break. makes me kinda bored. haha.

found a few JC friends i haven't been in contact with since As..they're all overseas now! and having the time of their lives partying and having fun..and..i guess i can't help feeling a little little bit jealous. like what on earth am i doing here in upland, indiana, stuck in an ulu place with nothing much to do. can't have parties/dancing or clubbing..i know these aren't things i should be doing, but..uggghhh..just so boring around here! doesn't help that my dorm's kinda boring too!! wish i were in the city..where i could at least go out n shop or smth. i guess i don't wanna be one of these people do party non stop and waste their lives away. but sometimes it's just nice to have a little fun. maybe God's purposely making me stay here so i'll stop yearning for things of the world and spend more time with Him. hmm.

-

u know what, all my posts are always so long and loh soh..
so decided to do a record breaking short one!
~Jesus, be the centre
be my hope, be my song, Jesus
Jesus, be my vision
be my path, be my guide, Jesus~

tired again...

eyes closing now. going to sleep after this. thought it'll be a nice, relaxing weekend where i could finally sit in my room and 'nua'..haha. and just do nothing. but no..so tired now!!

ystdy went to workout. actually managed to stay in the gym for 45mins! so proud of me. no longer a slacker. haha. my legs ache so bad now though. only been to the gym twice since i've been here. haha. and omg. i saw the calorie counter thingy..and i ran for like 20+mins and i only burned like 300 calories i think. omg!! i can eat more than 300 calories in one meal!! i read somewhere ( was it in Drawing Near?) that our body is a temple of God..not that i didn't know that before, but it just didn't strike me that much before. feel like i've been defiling my body or smth. haha. sounds kinda extreme but..i've been filling my body with junk food and bad stuff! have to detox now..gonna eat only salads and fruits forever! well maybe not forever but for a while. heh. anw i want God to be pleased with all aspects of my life..even the way i eat. hmm..does that mean all the chocs n maggi mee in my room has got to go??? :(

did laundry. the fun of doing laundry is seeping away. i hate doing laundry!!!! ugh. plus it made my jeans shrink! i'm serious. it's not that i've put on weight although i'm sure i have, but it was fine one day and then i washed it and put it in the dryer (fatal mistake) and then the next day it was tighter! damn sad now. not gonna last winter with only 3 pairs of jeans!!!

went to visit swallow robin for the first time since i've been here..never got around to going there. it's just so far away. but i like it. it's so small and home-y. sat there and had a deep conversation with sung ah. haha. it was nice. went over to the souphouse..supposed to watch matrix 2 but ended up playing games w other pple there. then we got hungry so walked over to handy andy's! ahhh..so bad eating choc at night!!! but the worst part of the evening was later. we played spoons. which is essentially the game heart attack but when u lose u dun slap pple's hands. u drink one HUGE glass of water. i lost twice. the water was extremely gross. ugh. had to go pee like 6 times after that. but it still was fun in the midst of the suffering. haha.

got back to my room pretty late and woke up at 7+am today. so tired! i dun even wake up this early for sch. went with some pple to amy's church - muncie alliance. was pretty cool. worship was alright. they actually sang hillsongs! haha. it just nv fails to amaze me when pple around here know hillsongs..guess they're pretty well-known after all! that's cool. but the tempo of worship was kinda...slowwww. soothing but slow. the msg was good. i liked it! about not caring about what others think, but only about what God thinks.

'the fear of man hinders us from pleasing God'
seems like God keeps telling me not to care about what others think but to just go ahead and be firm in what i believe and just live for Him.
~it's all about You, Jesus. and all this is for You, for Your glory and Your grace. it's not about me, as if You should do things my way. You alone are God, and I surrender to Your ways~
dun mind going back to that church again :)

went shopping after that!~!~ i LOVE shopping ever since i've been here!! it just makes me happy to go away from campus and just see the outside world!! hahaha. guilty to say i bought alot of stuff again. heh. but i have gd reason! it's clothes in preparation for winter cuz i've been pretty much freezing everyday. altho i got some pretty summer clothes!!couldn't resist! :)
it's kinda depressing around here. no wonder pple get seasonal depression. seriously. i shld take some pics. it's gloomy and dark and rainy and the trees are all BOTAK now. looks like a scene from a horror movie where the trees move and kill pple or smth. ugh. no more black for my wardrobe. outside's depressing enough.

LOVE YOU LORD!~

happiee day :)

today's a happie day! i was floating on clouds all day long. haha. suanggita emerlin called me early in the morn and woke me up from my delicious sleep! but..that was ok. ecstatic to hear from her! love u suang! really glad u called. missed u!! and i have no idea how to call s'pore! tried but nv got through. haha. anw..just really encouraged by suang n the stuff she said. so..gd start to gd day! :) plus another interpersonal comm class opened up so i dropped geology with glee! :) NO SCI for me next term!! awesome!! haha.

and then public speakin class was fun..we had to do this puzzle today. i love puzzles! and our grp speech is on music! persuading pple to go learn an instrument. i love music! and then expos writing was awesome too! we were at the com lab so i chatted with pple the whole time..except for one min where the teacher walked up behind me so i quickly logged off and pretended to be working on my paper. haha. but i got to talk to so many pple!~!~ happie. so touched by what u said, kenny! haha. and terry!!! future MC!! awesommeee.. :) can't wait to go home!~!~!~

really really really really really completely totally definitely nauseatingly sick of DC food right now. even maggi mee everyday is better compared to what i face in the DC. oh god. it's enough to turn me away from food. i've gone from 'i live to eat' to 'i eat to live'. i'm like, let's just get this over with. just go eat dinner/lunch n be done with it. it's that gross! ugh. so totally coming back here with tons of food for next term. gonna be well prepared.

had TCA in the evening..we went to this church in hartford city few mins away..it was alright. the pple in the church were really nice n told us we did good..kinda tired though. need my sleep. came back and got a nice surprise! talked to my parents n grandma on skype! :) my two little bros refused to talk to me though. rather play xbox/watch tv than talk to me! their best sister in the whole wide world! oh well. guys will be guys. then walked out arnd midnight to get some food..that's one nice thing about staying in the ulu countryside..it's pretty safe. :)
so..going to sleep now. not gonna wake up tmr till afternoon. yay!
~Jesus, be the centre of my life~

my generation~

registered for classes for spring semester yesterday! successful! haha. everyone told me freshmen usually don't get most of the classes they want, but i got into all! amazing! praise the Lord! :) and to imagine i was so stressed out cuz the classes were filling up pretty fast. God is always good :) ystdy i was so tired from gettin only 4hrs of sleep everyday that i went to bed early! at 12. heh. funny how 12 has become 'early' for me. at least i got like 10 hrs of sleep. which is definitely good.
oh, so.. classes i'm taking next sem (some are fun, some...not so.)

intro to christian educational ministries, ethnic and minority issues, biblical literature, intro to computer something (ugh. u all know how wonderful i am at computers. not!), digital tools, fit for life (oh god. i never knew i'd be doing stupid PE in college.), intro to geology (omg. another horrid class. just to fulfil my sci requirements. grr.)
17 credits. the max u can take. i'm such an overachiever. haha.maybe i shld drop something so i won't be so busy.

but angry at msn!!! having so much trouble with it. everytime i try to talk to pple, what i say doesn't go across and pple think i'm ignoring them but i'm NOT! it's the stupid system. sorry guys! i really dunno what's wrong. and then it'll log off randomly for me. grrr.

anw today was my 2nd last voice lesson. pretty glad. gettin kinda sick of it. hahaha. wish i had a better voice. had floor dinner today..sat near the mexican bar, so i pretty much smelt of cooking oil after that. gross. and then went for small group. was a pretty interesting discussion. we're reading this bk, the ragamuffin gospel. so we were discussing about the different denominations in christianity and why must they fight n argue all the time especially about petty stuff, and why can't everyone just get along since we're supposed to be ONE in Christ? and i shared with them how i've been feeling..that some pple here have very different beliefs from me and it's really hard..and i heard pretty interesting stuff from the other girls. seems like some of them grew up in conservative churches where women have NO voice in church. whatsoever. kinda sad. thought society was over that. but apparently not.

like 2 girls wanted to be pastors when they grew up, but they faced opposition from their church, even from their parents cuz they believed women have no place in leadership in the church! how sad is that???
so i told them about our church..and how women began to rise up after G12 came..and they were really amazed. so we decided to have a debate for fun. we each got put on the opposite side. so i have to argue why women shouldn't have a place in the church. heh. someone please tell me why. cuz i'm definitely not on my own side.

went for My generation night tonight. there was like a LONG line waiting outside the chapel. it's like different bands from taylor performing songs from our generation..which is 1990s..was pretty alright. the bands weren't that awesome. but some were cool. am so gonna have to put together a band and try out for next year!! haha. should be fun :)
had TCA prac again. tiring. we're playing 3 songs tmr at the concert..
amazing love (you are my king), in the secret, and before the throne.
i LOVE before the throne. it's a great song. love it to death.
have to improve on my guit skills.

in the quiet

~in the secret, in the quiet place...in the stillness You are there~

today was rush rush rush. mad rush to finish studying for a quiz, mad rush to finish planning my 4 yr schedule in one hr..now mad rush to plan my schedule for next semester. stressing OUT. cuz freshmen are last to register, all the good classes are taken up!! plus i don't register till 11am tmr! which means more time for OTHER people to take spaces in the classes i want!!! grrrrr. was panicky few hrs ago. but now...whatever. let God decide which class i should get into. just hope they're gd classes.

went to the prayer chapel today..where AAA (Asian awareness association) invited this youth pastor frm chicago to come preach. it was a small intimate gathering. he was a great guy! funny n friendly n all.. an alumni from wheaton college. and he lived in s'pore for a year! so he was all 'yeah lah' and 'makan lah' to me..haha. anw..the message really spoke lots to me. he talked about losing his fire for God in college..so it was all from his own experience. he said no one ever tells u this, but it's really easy to lose sight of God especially in a christian college, cuz even though u go through all the motions and activities that seem to be 'christian', in your heart it's easy to lose your first love for Him. which i think is really true.

most activities we're involved in are to do with God..we take classes about christianity and our faith..we have chapel 3 times a wk, yet we still lose our love for God. especially since we take classes about our faith. sometimes it's not so good to learn too much. feel that it makes u cynical and abit too dependent on what's tangible instead of having faith and believing in the unseen. was really encouraged by him cuz i realized i'm not alone. that many of the people who went to that session, most of whom i knew, felt the same way as me.

he asked us to close our eyes and think of a time when we used to be deeply and passionately in love with the Lord..the times we spent together with Him, when we were full of the joy of the Lord. and he observed that all of us, with the exception of one person, were looking grouchy when we closed our eyes. to say that our memories of closeness with the Lord weren't very good? cuz normally when u think of gd memories, a smile comes to ur face. well i dunno for them, but for me i wasn't smiling much cuz as i thought of how much more on fire i was for Him in the past, i just felt really horrible. like how come i've drifted so much?? like God loves me so but i keep breaking His heart..

he preached from revelation 2. saying 'you have forsaken your first love. remember the height from which you have fallen! repent and do the things you did at first. if you do not repent, i will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.'

and then he asked us this question - are you in love with God now? at this very moment, not yesterday, not just now, but right now. is Jesus your first love? and i really had trouble answering that.. couldn't say yes. didn't wanna say no. but i knew.. that deep inside i have been losing my love for God ever since i've came. i tried..regaining it..but it just kept slipping away. so the tears came..and it was the first time i cried in front of people here. wasnt alone cuz others were sniffing too, which made me feel better. heh. and i didn't feel like i needed to hold back, cuz i knew the Lord's presence was there and i was hurting because i let Him down again and again. and the Lord just ministered to me and gave me a renewed passion for Him.
i am gonna love Him like never before!!!

~i'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for~

pics from NCMSLC

sung ah and josh with statues at the museum

me and norah at the banquet at NCMSLC

me and sung ah swimminggg

ruth, sung ah and me

josh and me. that's his idea of an asian pose. haha.

back to schooolll...

was SO busy yesterday (sunday). woke up late cuz wanted to catch up on sleep. had TCA (taylor christian artists) the WHOLE DAY. prac with my band at 3, rehearse with other bands on stage in chapel at 5, then TCA worship night at 8. no time to do any hw at all. so dead! rehearsal went kinda shaky. not used to dealing with technology n stuff. now i understand how come bands can go offkey or play badly on stage. cuz u can't hear each other!! i could only hear my guit n the lead singer! couldn't hear the piano, couldn't hear myself. ugh. but we weren't off key, thank God. we didn't have our lead lead singer cuz she was sick. bad. that meant i had to sing. oh god. i'm not the best singer in the world!!! but i had to..for the band. heh. got really nervous as i saw more n more pple comin in..it wasn't a full house, but it was quite a few pple plus pple i knew. scared! but being the second band to get up on stage really helped. i just surrendered it all to God while worshipping when the first band was playing, so that helped calm my nerves a bit. then it was our turn..and it went by so fast!!!

it was AWESOME. had SUCH a great time just worshipping and praising God and the best thing was, it wasn't a performance, cuz pple were worshipping along with us!!! AWESOME. best feeling in the world. even though i couldn't hear my own voice or the piano, i think we did ok. n pple in the crowd thought we did great, so yay!! they seemed to like us. haha. plus they laughed when brent (our drummer) introduced us cuz he was like, we're nevaeh, and if ur not dyslexic, that is heaven spelled backwards. haha. all glory to God! i so wanna do it again!!! and we are..this friday. and it's a worship night on a bigger scale, cuz we're goin to hartford city and playing with other bands. so cool! really lookin forward to it. :)

after playing ystdy, realized this is what i really really LOVE with all my heart! playin in front of a crowd, bringing them into worship. would be more awesome if i had a gd voice so i could actually lead, but..oh well. so awesome to see their faces as they praise God.

so did not want to get up at 7am today. but had to! my com crashed last night. well sort of. microsoft word went crazy while i was in the midst of my 10 pg research paper which i only just started yesterday and was due today. heh. too busy!! but thank God i managed to finish it by 10am when it was due..and go for chapel where handbells was supposed to perform. supposed. we didn't in the end. one girl forgot all about it and we couldn't go on with one member missing. so we didn't perform. i'm kinda relieved. cuz we were pretty unprepared despite what the instructor kept saying. he's SUCH a nice person!! keeps telling us we're amazing when i can hear how bad we are. hahaha. he's so encouraging though. saw me perform ystdy and told me i did great!! happy. couple of pple told me that too, which was really really encouraging and what i needed. :)

finally found my advisor today and talked to him about registering for jan term and spring term semester classes. really hope i can get into the classes i want, cuz i'm a freshman, and we get to go last so by now most gd classes are already filled. pray that i can get the classes i want! easy classes to meet my general education requirements! haha.

NCMSLC

so..was down the past few days. left for cedarville, ohio for NCMSLC (national christian multicultural student leaders conference) kinda reluctantly. didn't wanna go anywhere or do anything. but the conference was really amazing. thank God so much i went.

the car ride there was kinda long..2hrs+..ate, slept, talked. josh (this guy frm argentina) was really funny. he looked thru my ipod and found something to laugh at. cuz right after a limp bizkit song came this song by psalty, the animated bible thingy. so was kinda funny. haha. anw reached there really tired. first session i really couldn't pay attention. was falling asleep. we stayed with pple in cedarville uni's dorms, and my host was reallyyy nice! so warm and friendly :) made me happy.

and whoa. the things we heard abt cedarville n some other universities made me oh-so-thankful i'm here at taylor! never again will i complain about the no-dancing rule here! at cedarville, they are weird rules like NO HUGGING! oh gosh. that's just extreme. and they have a curfew! i'm so glad we don't. they have to pay 1buck for every minute they're late. such strict rules. and they're alrdy adults still treat them like that. but the students don't seem to mind. i guess to each his own. come to appreciate taylor alot now :)

the next day was gd..had a few sessions. like holy hip hop. felt completely out of place cuz there were all blacks n i was like the only asian. haha. but it was cool. watched this series called 'black/white' about a black family who went thru lotsa makeup n stuff to look 'white' and a white family who did the same thing to look 'black' and experience their way of life. was really interesting how different both cultures were and how they had a hard time adapting. i guess i never really thought there existed a race issue before. but apparently it's a real hot topic here. i don't know. didn't feel like it concerned me much. to me, what divides the church of Christ most is the different denominations, not different ethnicities.

but i guess i've learnt that ethnicity can play a part in influencing your denomination. my fren was telling me about african churches here that speak in tongues n worship the Holy Spirit and pray by the spirit n everything, and when i told her that's what my church does at home too, she was shocked. i guess it don't happen often here. someone in my public speaking class gave a speech today on why there are not many americans coming to christ nowadays. he said 9 out of 10 pple fall away after their decision. meaning their follow up isn't gd enough. which i agree. they don't even consolidate pple. just ask them to receive in their hearts n go home n do nothing.

anw, at night we went to this national underground railroad freedom museum. i thought it was literally about railroads, but someone explained to me it was about slavery of blacks. which goes to show how much i know about american history.heh. it was really interesting..took a few pics :) really glad i went for the conference. got to know more pple..and got to talk about issues that concern me. a minority. so weird to say. never been a minority before. but i guess now i understand how minorities feel.

the last day was the best..we went to our own ethnic caucases. so i went for the international students one. didn't wanna go for the asians one cuz i knew it'll be all asian americans, which means they're essentially americans. seriously. asian americans aren't asian at all. they just look it but inside they don't even know anything about their culture. total banana. haha. anw it was wonderful!!! encouraging to know there are pple struggling with the same issues as me..everyone was so nice. and i realized the international student society here at taylor is the BEST! we're taken care of SO WELL compared to other universities. thank God once again for putting me here!!! :)

a few things pple said that touched me. one guy was like, i'm proud of my accent and i won't change it for the world! who cares if americans can't understand me. that's what i like about being in a foreign ctry. it was really cool how firm he was in his own identity. and he also said it's important to FIND yourself first and not let others influence u. so i'm determined to STAND STRONG in what i believe in and who cares about what others say. i know the truth is the truth and that is Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour, and to heck with all the discouraging comments. so what if they don't believe in what i believe in?? i know what i beileve in is right, and that's all that matters. no one should be able to sway me.

and also..cuz i've been strugglin with their style of worship n all..someone said we are the ones who have chosen to come here, and God has put us here for a purpose, so i believe i can get over myself and begin to worship Him wholeheartedly even though the worship style isn't what i'm used to at all. i'm gonna revolutionize the whole worship scene here at taylor!!!! :)

~oh God let us be a generation that seeks
seeks Your face oh God of Jacob~