Etiquette dinner
Random comic on table manners
Another random comic.
I think the little kid is saying, 'Grandma, you have something in your teeth!'
Have you ever been told not to rest your elbows on the dinner table because it was bad manners? Or to chew slowly with your mouth closed and talk after you've swallowed because no one wants to see the remnants of that chicken dish you ordered?
Obviously you have. We all have.
But did you know there is so much more to table manners and good etiquette than that?
Today, Career Development hosted an
Etiquette Dinner on campus, and my Senior Media Capstone class participated, as part of class credit, but mostly also to learn the
do's and don'ts of table manners in formal situations. With the guys in their suits and ties, and the girls in our dresses, skirts and heels, we strolled over to the Dining Commons (actually, it was more like we ran, because it was so cold) with a little bit of excitement and uncertainty as to what to expect. They said to dress 'business casual,' but who really knows what that means?? Obviously it excludes jeans and a tattered t-shirt, but 'business casual' can mean different things to different people in different work fields. Anyway, it was such a fascinating experience that I was shocked to notice 2 hours had flown by. Seriously, I was
enthralled.
We sat around nicely decorated tables, and the first thing that caught my eye was the multitudes of silverware in front of my face. It was like we were in
Home Depot or NTUC, at the silverware section, with piles and piles of forks and knives and spoons to choose from. It was overwhelming. But I learned that the outer forks and knives are used for your salad and bread roll, and the inner ones are used for the main course. Oh, and they should always FACE A CERTAIN WAY -- pointing inward. Because, and this stems from medieval times, if you point them outward, it meant that you were challenging the people at your table to battle. Also, you should NEVER take your bread plate and put it in front of you. That space is reserved ONLY for the main course. And soup, I guess. It would be hard to consume soup if the bowl was an arm's length away from you. So we learned a ton of interesting stuff like that.
Like how to take your napkin from the table (gently) and fold it and put it on your lap. And to say
'no thank you' to appetizers and desserts, unless the host offers. And to always offer the breadbowl or the water or the butter or the salad dressing to the person on your left, and hold on to it
for dear life, let the person take some, then take your share, and pass it to the person on your right. And when eating the main course, always hold your utensils in such a way that you cover the end of it.
So... in doing these exercises, I learned that I am the only person who holds the fork in my right hand and the knife in my left. Everyone else does the opposite.
What is wrong with me?? Recently, I've also discovered that I have been holding chopsticks the wrong way for my entire life; even Americans have chided me because they can hold chopsticks better than I can. But oh well, as long as I can stab the food and toss it into my mouth, I'm happy.
Other things that we learned...
The bread roll remains on the bread plate, and you only tear off bite-sized chunks, butter them, and put them in your mouth gracefully. You don't grab the entire piece of bread and shovel it into your mouth, in case someone asks you a question and you have to chew for 5 minutes before you can answer.
You have to cut up the veggies in your salad, so as to make them smaller and easier to eat.
You also have to eat at the same pace as everyone else, and there's no going backwards. If people are done with the salad and are on to the main course, you'd better be following suit, because if you want a bread roll when people are on dessert, too bad buddy, it's too late.
Oh, and you always have to leave a small portion of your food on the plate, to show others that you're easily satisfied. I didn't really get this rule. Why would you want to do that?? It makes no sense. Plus it's a waste of food.
And the worst types of food to order during a formal business meeting/job interview?
Any kind of pasta, especially the twirly kind like spaghetti, because they're messy. Chicken wings, too, because no one wants to hire a person who gobbles down wings like a barbarian and licks their fingers afterward. And don't ever order french onion soup, because it's so hard to eat, what with all the cheese and bits of onion. Plus it's not like you can gracefully reach into your soup with a knife and cut up the cheese to make it bite-sized (like everything else). That's just weird.
So we learned all that and more. It was such riveting stuff. Although I'm not sure if I'll be able to remember all that. I might just practice it everyday from now on. Go to the Dining Commons, surround myself with silverware, and test it out. But then again, every meal would probably last about 2 hours if I did. Also, I've never really understood the need for multiple forks and knives. I mean, this just creates more work for those workers who have to wash the dishes. And I understand what a pain it is to wash dishes. I've been there, done that (and probably will be doing so for the rest of my life, unless I buy a dishwasher like every other American). Seriously. We should all just use one fork for salads, wipe it off (that's what napkins are for), then use it again for the main course! Or just go straight into the main course! So what if it tastes like salad dressing? It would only last for the first few bites. Plus then we could save water. And spend the precious money on something else.
Oh... talking about money, that will be the subject of my next ranting.
