stressed out by the tons of stuff i have to decide n complete soon. i hate deadlines. mostly thinking about being involved in stuff next year. chapel band especially is giving me a huge headache. why is it so hard to find musicians?? why are pple so annoyingly uncommital?? why is it that 'famous' pple always get to go on stage n other normal pple don't????
TCA is another huge headache. applying for co-director next yr so i'll have a nice leadership position on my resume. hopefully i'll get it. but anw we're having a spring concert in taylor next sun..and our band is seriously falling apart. why does everyone have commitment issues? gosh. so frustrating. 2 of our band members quit, so now we're like only half a band. and it seems like EVERY other activity is happening next sun too..so no one else can play for us! arrrggghh. wish i didn't have to play. so i could go see Lifehouse in Ohio!!!! grrrr. plus stressing about whether i should go on a Lighthouse trip..which is a month long mission trip in january break. but think i won't. feel bad asking pple to sponsor me again so soon after jamaica. sighhh. wish i knew more rich pple. haha.
also thinking about working in the Writing Center..cuz my prof recommended me to the person in charge. that means she thinks i have what it takes..so i'm just gonna apply n if God allows it, then that's cool. it's kinda like tutoring others in english..like writing essays n stuff. makes u use ur brains. wonder if i should apply for another job that is brainless. like sittin around a computer n doing nothing. heh. these jobs do exist. but they're extremely popular. wonder why. :)
just seems like so many things are happening..driving me crazy! i just want some time to chill. plus the australia trip is grating on my nerves. parents and their paranoia. hellooo..i'm 20 and i'm living overseas ALL BY MYSELF. you'd think that's reason enough for me to get a little freedom and independence. geez.
on a happier note, i got back my Inductive Bible Study on the One body, many parts chapter in 1Cor. whoaaa. i got 92%!! which kinda surprised me. pleasantly. i'm always surprised by my work. which makes me happy. haha. and my prof wrote on my paper n told me that i have a strong ability to do inductive study on bible passages. that really surprised me cuz i was like, rushing through it and hoping i did well but not really knowing. and i did it on that day itself that we had to hand it in..which shocked my classmates cuz they spent days agonizing over it. heh. i just like to delay till the last possible min.
anw that reminded me of what eve told me a few months ago. i think the girls were just sitting arnd discussing who has what spiritual gifts, and they said mine's in the Word, and i was like shocked. and then this happens, and i'm shocked too! cuz i always feel like i don't completely understand bible passages..
how can u say i've a gift in this area? kinda confuses me. but i guess it's cool that i apparently understand even though i don't really understand how i understand. heh.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
jumbled thoughts
today in practically every class we talked about the shootings at Virginia Tech and prayed for all those affected by the incident. found out it's a korean guy who was kind of a loner who killed those people. but i guess race doesn't really matter. kinda scary to think that this kinda evil is actually within our capabilities..since we're all fallen..but thank God for His saving grace.
one of my professors scared me. he kept saying..imagine what if this happened at taylor..and someone just bursts into that door (pointed at the door) and starts shooting people.. that made me terrified. i was like seriously freaking out! cuz this IS america! the land of crazy people armed with GUNS. that's the worse part. what is wrong with the government??? why are they allowing guns to be sold to anyone with cash??? that is just wrong. but yeah..i realize this can actually happen anywhere. so i'm prepared. i'll play dead if something like this (i reject that!) ever happens around me.
in Christian Ed class the prof was saying how things like these are evil..but God brings good out of them. but that we still can't understand how good can ever come out it stuff like this. it's times like these that the church needs to act and just show those affected Jesus' love..not shove it down their throats..cuz it doesn't matter how many of them come to know the Lord thru this incident..but care for them and help them thru it so that they know there is a God out there who cares for them.
A guest speaker came to class and he talked about being the youth pastor in this presbyterian church in indiana for 17 yrs. for american standards, that's pretty darned long. don't know why, but pple in full time ministry here (like pastors, etc) do move from church to church pretty often. wonder why. they don't stay at a church long..which is weird to me. and he was saying how 200 is a middle sized church..1000+ is a huge church. and i was thinking of fcbc and how that's prob a humongous church in american terms. haha. actually..taking this class had made me think twice about full-time ministry.
maybe i'm not meant to do that after all. don't think i can see myself in a small little church pastoring over like 100 pple. plus they're all so traditional!! the churches here look like what u'd imagine a catholic church would look like. stained glass and all..seems kinda distant and formal to me. feel more assured in doing journalism i guess.
cuz one of my professors today was totally insulting journalism cuz of the school shootings incident..and how the media gets all over juicy news stories like that..and they're like vultures waiting to pick apart the story. which is pretty true..and heartless. the pple are alrdy so shaken up and the situation's so chaotic..they really don't need busybody newsreporters poking their nose into their business. which is why i wanna go into that industry and hopefully give things a christian perspective and not report news in such a cold and distant way..but actually from a human, compassionate point of view. maybe that's not possible. maybe i'm too idealistic, living in a world that lives off tragic stories like these. but..i can always try.
one of my professors scared me. he kept saying..imagine what if this happened at taylor..and someone just bursts into that door (pointed at the door) and starts shooting people.. that made me terrified. i was like seriously freaking out! cuz this IS america! the land of crazy people armed with GUNS. that's the worse part. what is wrong with the government??? why are they allowing guns to be sold to anyone with cash??? that is just wrong. but yeah..i realize this can actually happen anywhere. so i'm prepared. i'll play dead if something like this (i reject that!) ever happens around me.
in Christian Ed class the prof was saying how things like these are evil..but God brings good out of them. but that we still can't understand how good can ever come out it stuff like this. it's times like these that the church needs to act and just show those affected Jesus' love..not shove it down their throats..cuz it doesn't matter how many of them come to know the Lord thru this incident..but care for them and help them thru it so that they know there is a God out there who cares for them.
A guest speaker came to class and he talked about being the youth pastor in this presbyterian church in indiana for 17 yrs. for american standards, that's pretty darned long. don't know why, but pple in full time ministry here (like pastors, etc) do move from church to church pretty often. wonder why. they don't stay at a church long..which is weird to me. and he was saying how 200 is a middle sized church..1000+ is a huge church. and i was thinking of fcbc and how that's prob a humongous church in american terms. haha. actually..taking this class had made me think twice about full-time ministry.
maybe i'm not meant to do that after all. don't think i can see myself in a small little church pastoring over like 100 pple. plus they're all so traditional!! the churches here look like what u'd imagine a catholic church would look like. stained glass and all..seems kinda distant and formal to me. feel more assured in doing journalism i guess.
cuz one of my professors today was totally insulting journalism cuz of the school shootings incident..and how the media gets all over juicy news stories like that..and they're like vultures waiting to pick apart the story. which is pretty true..and heartless. the pple are alrdy so shaken up and the situation's so chaotic..they really don't need busybody newsreporters poking their nose into their business. which is why i wanna go into that industry and hopefully give things a christian perspective and not report news in such a cold and distant way..but actually from a human, compassionate point of view. maybe that's not possible. maybe i'm too idealistic, living in a world that lives off tragic stories like these. but..i can always try.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
school shootings and what not
today a school shooting occurred at Virginia Tech. some guy..i think it was an asian..rampaged through the dorms and killed a total of 32 people. i am in shock. i mean, i probably shouldn't be, given that we live in a corrupted world and all, but..i always fail to comprehend how people can do such things. he's probably a normal guy, just like u and me. a guy who goes on with life day by day, doing things that we all do. and then suddenly he turns into this crazy heartless maniac that has no problem killing THIRTY TWO people and then himself?? i wonder what was going on in his mind. what spurred him to action. what his last thoughts were. how he could bring himself to pull the trigger on 32 of his fellow human beings.
did he not feel scared? did he not feel regret? did he not feel guilty? did he even feel anything?? i don't understand how people can do such things. i guess maybe he couldn't live with himself..that's why he killed himself too.
i just wish he knew Jesus. i just wish that he had the chance to experience the wonders of God's love. maybe he did. i don't know. what i do know is that i feel incredibly blessed to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior..because He is the reason that i live.
did he not feel scared? did he not feel regret? did he not feel guilty? did he even feel anything?? i don't understand how people can do such things. i guess maybe he couldn't live with himself..that's why he killed himself too.
i just wish he knew Jesus. i just wish that he had the chance to experience the wonders of God's love. maybe he did. i don't know. what i do know is that i feel incredibly blessed to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior..because He is the reason that i live.
Monday, April 16, 2007
how i want time to fly
yes i do.
this weekend went pretty fast though. this chemistry prof treated me n a fren to dinner at ChinaOne on fri. the food wasn't that gd..i realized that all chi restaurants in the States have the same kinda food!! fried rice, oily noodles, lotsa fried stuff, broccoli. eckkk. anw..got to talk to my parents in the evening, which was nice. they're holidaying in celebration of their anniversary at Sentosa. hahaha. gosh, i miss the beach!
sat was really nice n relaxing. it SNOWED. cannot believe my eyes. freakin snow in april. it's supposed to be nice warm spring weather! grrrr. was freezing. so i refused to step out of my dorm. it's times like these that instant noodle parties are appreciated :) and i am SO addicted to tv shows now!!! aaaahhh!! and movies too. borrowed tristan and isolde frm a fren..got the website showing Heroes frm another fren..borrowed Gilmore Girls frm yet another fren..and received seasons 1 AND 2 of Grey's Anatomy frm yet another fren! i love my frens! haha. so..it was a gd day..ruining my eyes in front of my com..yup. time well spent :)
church today was pretty interesting. heh. got up early..was almost gonna step outta my room when suang,joce n lm called! yay! anw..we had a TCA gig in a town called Matthews, which i heard had a reputation for being pretty racist. so it got me kinda worried..cuz even though they're christians, they might be racist against me or smth. but thank God they were really nice n welcoming. our performance was pretty bad though..halfway thru my guit strap came off..and then later my guit string snapped right in the middle of a song..but i just kept playing and smiling like nothing happened..hoping no one would notice. but of cuz everyone did cuz it snapped pretty loudly. but they all came up to me and congratulated me for continuing to play even though it sounded kinda weird without one string. oh well.
had 3 kinda funny/weird incidents..
this woman comes up to me and goes, hey! ur benita? my name is benita too! and i was like..that's cool. she was an old woman. so it was pretty funny. haha. and she goes, where are u from? and i'm like, singapore..and she's all like, oh! i have a fren from india! we're really close! like we email each other n stuff! and i'm like..umm..good for u..but i dun see what that has got to do with me. haha.
and i was talking with another old woman, and she suddenly just burst into chinese! and her accent was pretty gd too! i was shocked. turns out she used to live in taiwan as a missionary..so that was kinda cool.
and this other old guy just randomly comes up to me n says..u look like my granddaughter! (it was an old WHITE guy, i might add) so i was like..umm..okayy..have i spent too much time in america that i look white...?
but then he was like, my granddaughter's half oriental..so..yeah. haha. and i couldn't help but wonder if he thinks all asians look alike. heh.
so..just came back frm dinner at pizzahut. been a long time since i've had gd pizza. the DC pizza is dry and disgusting. anw..went to the Daudts' for some talk on how to transition into american culture n lifestyle. really didn't wanna go..cuz i thot it'd be kinda lame..but..felt bad cuz no one else was going..plus i was dragged along. plus there were cookies. haha.
it was alright..think i've transitioned pretty well..made frens n all..only thing that irks me is how ulu-fied this place is..that's the only thing that just makes me wanna transfer somewhere. it's like being in solitary. nowhere to go!!! all those grand visions of me having crazy fun in america has gone down the drain. really wish taylor was located in the city..and not some suburb. now i understand why pple make movies about wanting to get out of the suburbs of america. seriously. life here is like..probably what u'd imagine farm life to be like. america's not what it's cut out to be..the movies lie! haha. sort of.
this weekend went pretty fast though. this chemistry prof treated me n a fren to dinner at ChinaOne on fri. the food wasn't that gd..i realized that all chi restaurants in the States have the same kinda food!! fried rice, oily noodles, lotsa fried stuff, broccoli. eckkk. anw..got to talk to my parents in the evening, which was nice. they're holidaying in celebration of their anniversary at Sentosa. hahaha. gosh, i miss the beach!
sat was really nice n relaxing. it SNOWED. cannot believe my eyes. freakin snow in april. it's supposed to be nice warm spring weather! grrrr. was freezing. so i refused to step out of my dorm. it's times like these that instant noodle parties are appreciated :) and i am SO addicted to tv shows now!!! aaaahhh!! and movies too. borrowed tristan and isolde frm a fren..got the website showing Heroes frm another fren..borrowed Gilmore Girls frm yet another fren..and received seasons 1 AND 2 of Grey's Anatomy frm yet another fren! i love my frens! haha. so..it was a gd day..ruining my eyes in front of my com..yup. time well spent :)
church today was pretty interesting. heh. got up early..was almost gonna step outta my room when suang,joce n lm called! yay! anw..we had a TCA gig in a town called Matthews, which i heard had a reputation for being pretty racist. so it got me kinda worried..cuz even though they're christians, they might be racist against me or smth. but thank God they were really nice n welcoming. our performance was pretty bad though..halfway thru my guit strap came off..and then later my guit string snapped right in the middle of a song..but i just kept playing and smiling like nothing happened..hoping no one would notice. but of cuz everyone did cuz it snapped pretty loudly. but they all came up to me and congratulated me for continuing to play even though it sounded kinda weird without one string. oh well.
had 3 kinda funny/weird incidents..
this woman comes up to me and goes, hey! ur benita? my name is benita too! and i was like..that's cool. she was an old woman. so it was pretty funny. haha. and she goes, where are u from? and i'm like, singapore..and she's all like, oh! i have a fren from india! we're really close! like we email each other n stuff! and i'm like..umm..good for u..but i dun see what that has got to do with me. haha.
and i was talking with another old woman, and she suddenly just burst into chinese! and her accent was pretty gd too! i was shocked. turns out she used to live in taiwan as a missionary..so that was kinda cool.
and this other old guy just randomly comes up to me n says..u look like my granddaughter! (it was an old WHITE guy, i might add) so i was like..umm..okayy..have i spent too much time in america that i look white...?
but then he was like, my granddaughter's half oriental..so..yeah. haha. and i couldn't help but wonder if he thinks all asians look alike. heh.
so..just came back frm dinner at pizzahut. been a long time since i've had gd pizza. the DC pizza is dry and disgusting. anw..went to the Daudts' for some talk on how to transition into american culture n lifestyle. really didn't wanna go..cuz i thot it'd be kinda lame..but..felt bad cuz no one else was going..plus i was dragged along. plus there were cookies. haha.
it was alright..think i've transitioned pretty well..made frens n all..only thing that irks me is how ulu-fied this place is..that's the only thing that just makes me wanna transfer somewhere. it's like being in solitary. nowhere to go!!! all those grand visions of me having crazy fun in america has gone down the drain. really wish taylor was located in the city..and not some suburb. now i understand why pple make movies about wanting to get out of the suburbs of america. seriously. life here is like..probably what u'd imagine farm life to be like. america's not what it's cut out to be..the movies lie! haha. sort of.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Jesus paid it all
In (belated) remembrance of Good Friday...
~I hear the Savior say
"Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in Me, thine all in all"
~Lord now indeed i find
Thy power, and Thine alone
Can change the leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone
~And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete
"Jesus died, my soul to save"
My lips shall still repeat
~Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow
been feeling kinda sickly these few days. maybe it's the sudden weather change from warm and humid to dry and absolutely freezing. so..just spending quality time with my bestie, JC :)
~I hear the Savior say
"Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in Me, thine all in all"
~Lord now indeed i find
Thy power, and Thine alone
Can change the leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone
~And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete
"Jesus died, my soul to save"
My lips shall still repeat
~Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow
been feeling kinda sickly these few days. maybe it's the sudden weather change from warm and humid to dry and absolutely freezing. so..just spending quality time with my bestie, JC :)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
pics frm jamaica
britney,me n josh. look at the difference in our heights! haha.
me n lauren eating the free snacks we got frm the airline. it was their attempt to appease our annoyed souls at the long wait.
us at Negril beach! beautiful :) saw a stingray like 1metre away frm where i was standing in the sand.
this was the first school we performed at. all girls. pretty strict too. reminded me of pri n sec sch days. ahhh the glorious rebellious times. :)
lauren n katrina eating at Island Grille. the very first place we ate at upon arriving at Jamaica! i had a jerk chicken burger. was gd.
us girls on top of a hill where u could see the most amazing view ever
our group at Copse boys' home. see that guy in white next to me? he's the one that followed me everywhere.
anw, i didn't bring my cam..so these are the first few pics i got frm pple. more coming soon! :)
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
jamaica..woot woot!
alrighttt. i'm back! so many things to say!!! first of all, thank God cuz everything went wonderfully and smoothly. was a bit of a cultural shock, cuz the pple were really forward and aggressive. especially the guys. haha. got hit on countless times i lost track. i'd be walking along the street, and the guys would be..hey china! lookin pretty! or.. want some marijuana? it's good for u!
haha. china was my nickname from my team n the pple in jamaica. tried explaining to the jamaicans i'm frm s'pore..but..in vain.
the conversation went something like this:
'where are u from?'
'singapore. it's in asia.'
'ohhh...is that china or japan?'
'it's s'pore. it's a country in asia.'
'ohh..i see. so it's china?or japan?'
'(grrr) s'pore!! not china!!'
'ohh. but..china? or japan?'
'(giving up) china.'
apparently jamaican guys like asian girls cuz they hit on me n another asian girl on our team nonstop. haha. and there's quite a big chinese n indian population there! there's even a chi church! and some pretty gd chi food. :) jamaican food is yummilicious.
earned a few more nicknames..like fish. cuz they said benita is a type of fish. or bonito. anw that's how the jamaicans remembered my name the best. haha. bonded with the team really well. was an awesome experience! we made our own home video dubbed in chinese. haha. it was hilarious teaching them chi and singlish. and they found it hilarious when i tried to do italian/british accents. haha. basically they found my accent hilarious.
anw..we went to a couple of schools and did our love skit, our mime about how Jesus is the only one that can fill our emptiness, and some worship songs. got varied responses. most schools loved it. went to churches and led worship..i played guit. was a pretty cool experience. was half performance half worship i felt. cuz they didn't know the songs..they were pretty traditional, the jamaican churches. but i felt the presence of the Lord n saw them worshipping along with us even though the songs were unfamiliar to them.
went to orphanages, elderly homes, handicapped homes, a boys juvenile deliquents home. i must say, was quite an experience. have to admit that i wasn't too excited about these. i thought it'd be awkward n i wouldn't know what to do or say..but it turned out really well. we sang to the elderly, who really enjoyed our presence. interacted with the children..they were adorable. carried a few snot-filled and drooly kids..and the Lord really showed me His love for them. i learnt to look beyond their appearance n to just love them like Jesus does. one song that most of the kids orphanages sang in common was 'jesus loves me this i know'. was incredibly special. cuz Jesus does love them even though the world has abandoned them. even though the orphanages weren't exactly the cleanest places on earth, i still loved the experience, cuz the kids were really the epitome of childlike faith. their lives were simple - just love Jesus. especially the handicapped children..they appreciated our presence there alot. so even though i got buckets of drool over me n got slobbered by kisses, it was all worth it to see the smiles on their faces :)
the boys home..was abit of a crazy experience. they swarmed us the moment we arrived. and they were really touchy feely. like really. think they were from 8-17years old..we did our skit n mime performance for them..then some of them played soccer with the guys on our team while the girls got swarmed by little boys. of cuz i got called 'china' numerous times and i gave up explaining. got kinda freaked out by how they were trying to touch me..even in inappropriate places. a little boy abt 12 yrs old totally followed me all around. he was really quiet but he progressed! frm standing next to me, to sitting closer n closer to putting his arm arnd me then to hugging me. heh. was kinda a weird experience. but upon reflection with the team, i realized these boys really have a lack of love in their lives. one of my team members said that if he were one of them, he'd do what they did and try to get that little bit of love from us. made me feel kinda bad. like i should've been more caring towards them.
one thing i loved most (besides bonding with my team) was that we got to do some street evangelism. was kinda initiated by me. haha. me n a few other girls sat along the pavement at the beach n played guit and djembe (drums) n did some worship songs sometimes at night..and we attracted alot of pple. mostly guys. heh. but we did manage to get into meaningful conversations with them..about their lives..about God..etc. alot of them say they believe in God, but they admit they don't live like a Christian cuz they're smoking weed..living in the ways of the world..stuff like that. got into some really interesting conversations. loved mixing arnd with the pple. although they're aggressive, they're not stalker-scary-like.
met a guy named JahClarity, who claimed to be a famous reggae artiste in jamaica. so some pple got his autograph. haha. he turned out to be what he claimed to be! which was cool. i met someone famous! haha. he invited us to go to his studio n record some songs..but we didn't. haha. n we lived on the Hip Strip, so we were surrounded by clubs n stuff. every night, without fail, the place would be booming with loud music. pretty cool, but we weren't allowed to go to clubs of course. heh.
and we got some free time on the beach..went to Glistening Waters..saw glowing micro-organisms in the ocean! the water's completely dark. but when the boat moved, the water glowed! and some pple jumped into the water, and they glowed! it was the coolest thing ever. climbed a waterfall too! and my legs ached so bad the next day. haha. and i got a tan!
so..pretty much happy now.
although our flight did get delayed 5 hours. but it was ok, cuz they gave us food vouchers and free snacks to make up for their inefficiency. plus we entertained ourselves by doing a scavenger hunt in the memphis airport in tennessee. took lotsa crazy pics. and made friends with the cleaners in the airport, cuz they were the only ones left. haha. every single shop in the airport closed by 8pm! so early! so by the time we reached chicago it was like 2+am..by the time we drove back to taylor, it was like 7am. i slept for 3 hours then went for all my classes. proud of myself! altho i slept in most of them. haha. think i'm gettin sick now..lack of sleep. gonna slp after this. btw i got my hair braided! well..some of it. haha.
thank You Lord for the most awesome mission trip ever! :)
haha. china was my nickname from my team n the pple in jamaica. tried explaining to the jamaicans i'm frm s'pore..but..in vain.
the conversation went something like this:
'where are u from?'
'singapore. it's in asia.'
'ohhh...is that china or japan?'
'it's s'pore. it's a country in asia.'
'ohh..i see. so it's china?or japan?'
'(grrr) s'pore!! not china!!'
'ohh. but..china? or japan?'
'(giving up) china.'
apparently jamaican guys like asian girls cuz they hit on me n another asian girl on our team nonstop. haha. and there's quite a big chinese n indian population there! there's even a chi church! and some pretty gd chi food. :) jamaican food is yummilicious.
earned a few more nicknames..like fish. cuz they said benita is a type of fish. or bonito. anw that's how the jamaicans remembered my name the best. haha. bonded with the team really well. was an awesome experience! we made our own home video dubbed in chinese. haha. it was hilarious teaching them chi and singlish. and they found it hilarious when i tried to do italian/british accents. haha. basically they found my accent hilarious.
anw..we went to a couple of schools and did our love skit, our mime about how Jesus is the only one that can fill our emptiness, and some worship songs. got varied responses. most schools loved it. went to churches and led worship..i played guit. was a pretty cool experience. was half performance half worship i felt. cuz they didn't know the songs..they were pretty traditional, the jamaican churches. but i felt the presence of the Lord n saw them worshipping along with us even though the songs were unfamiliar to them.
went to orphanages, elderly homes, handicapped homes, a boys juvenile deliquents home. i must say, was quite an experience. have to admit that i wasn't too excited about these. i thought it'd be awkward n i wouldn't know what to do or say..but it turned out really well. we sang to the elderly, who really enjoyed our presence. interacted with the children..they were adorable. carried a few snot-filled and drooly kids..and the Lord really showed me His love for them. i learnt to look beyond their appearance n to just love them like Jesus does. one song that most of the kids orphanages sang in common was 'jesus loves me this i know'. was incredibly special. cuz Jesus does love them even though the world has abandoned them. even though the orphanages weren't exactly the cleanest places on earth, i still loved the experience, cuz the kids were really the epitome of childlike faith. their lives were simple - just love Jesus. especially the handicapped children..they appreciated our presence there alot. so even though i got buckets of drool over me n got slobbered by kisses, it was all worth it to see the smiles on their faces :)
the boys home..was abit of a crazy experience. they swarmed us the moment we arrived. and they were really touchy feely. like really. think they were from 8-17years old..we did our skit n mime performance for them..then some of them played soccer with the guys on our team while the girls got swarmed by little boys. of cuz i got called 'china' numerous times and i gave up explaining. got kinda freaked out by how they were trying to touch me..even in inappropriate places. a little boy abt 12 yrs old totally followed me all around. he was really quiet but he progressed! frm standing next to me, to sitting closer n closer to putting his arm arnd me then to hugging me. heh. was kinda a weird experience. but upon reflection with the team, i realized these boys really have a lack of love in their lives. one of my team members said that if he were one of them, he'd do what they did and try to get that little bit of love from us. made me feel kinda bad. like i should've been more caring towards them.
one thing i loved most (besides bonding with my team) was that we got to do some street evangelism. was kinda initiated by me. haha. me n a few other girls sat along the pavement at the beach n played guit and djembe (drums) n did some worship songs sometimes at night..and we attracted alot of pple. mostly guys. heh. but we did manage to get into meaningful conversations with them..about their lives..about God..etc. alot of them say they believe in God, but they admit they don't live like a Christian cuz they're smoking weed..living in the ways of the world..stuff like that. got into some really interesting conversations. loved mixing arnd with the pple. although they're aggressive, they're not stalker-scary-like.
met a guy named JahClarity, who claimed to be a famous reggae artiste in jamaica. so some pple got his autograph. haha. he turned out to be what he claimed to be! which was cool. i met someone famous! haha. he invited us to go to his studio n record some songs..but we didn't. haha. n we lived on the Hip Strip, so we were surrounded by clubs n stuff. every night, without fail, the place would be booming with loud music. pretty cool, but we weren't allowed to go to clubs of course. heh.
and we got some free time on the beach..went to Glistening Waters..saw glowing micro-organisms in the ocean! the water's completely dark. but when the boat moved, the water glowed! and some pple jumped into the water, and they glowed! it was the coolest thing ever. climbed a waterfall too! and my legs ached so bad the next day. haha. and i got a tan!
so..pretty much happy now.
although our flight did get delayed 5 hours. but it was ok, cuz they gave us food vouchers and free snacks to make up for their inefficiency. plus we entertained ourselves by doing a scavenger hunt in the memphis airport in tennessee. took lotsa crazy pics. and made friends with the cleaners in the airport, cuz they were the only ones left. haha. every single shop in the airport closed by 8pm! so early! so by the time we reached chicago it was like 2+am..by the time we drove back to taylor, it was like 7am. i slept for 3 hours then went for all my classes. proud of myself! altho i slept in most of them. haha. think i'm gettin sick now..lack of sleep. gonna slp after this. btw i got my hair braided! well..some of it. haha.
thank You Lord for the most awesome mission trip ever! :)
Friday, March 30, 2007
jamaicaaaa
today was a pretty stressful day. rushing here and there to get all sorts of homework n assignments done plus laundry to get ready to jamaica. but..finally finished everything! even my huge inductive bible study assignment on 1cor 12 about the one body, many parts. i am now officially an expert on that. haha. but..dinner was surprisingly really gd!!! hung out with pple for the last time before everyone leaves for spring break..they opened a smoothie bar in the DC! coolness. then de-stressed by shopping. got 2 cute summer shoes! i am oh-so-ready for summer!
anw yup! i'm goin to jamaica tomorrow!!! well actually not tmr. but we're leaving for chicago tmr!! then jamaica early sat morn!
super duper excited :) all the sights we're gonna see..all the pple we're gonna meet..all the food we're gonna eat..all the culture we're gonna absorb..but...determined not to be a christian tourist! must remember i'm there to serve the Lord. not on vacation!
but still can have fun :) my fren said it all..feels like i'm in a performance group going on tour. haha. cuz we're doing drama n worship n all..anw..keep me in prayers! for safety, for open hearts, for wisdom from the Lord, sensitivity to the needs of the Jamaican pple, that we'll not offend them unknowingly, team unity, and journey mercy! yup. be back to update on the trip on april 9! lovessssss. :)
btw here's our blog. it's taylor's entire spring break mission trip blog, so there's other pple from other trips blogging too. check out my jamaica one! :)
http://www.taylor.edu/weblogs/springbreak/
:)
anw yup! i'm goin to jamaica tomorrow!!! well actually not tmr. but we're leaving for chicago tmr!! then jamaica early sat morn!
super duper excited :) all the sights we're gonna see..all the pple we're gonna meet..all the food we're gonna eat..all the culture we're gonna absorb..but...determined not to be a christian tourist! must remember i'm there to serve the Lord. not on vacation!
but still can have fun :) my fren said it all..feels like i'm in a performance group going on tour. haha. cuz we're doing drama n worship n all..anw..keep me in prayers! for safety, for open hearts, for wisdom from the Lord, sensitivity to the needs of the Jamaican pple, that we'll not offend them unknowingly, team unity, and journey mercy! yup. be back to update on the trip on april 9! lovessssss. :)
btw here's our blog. it's taylor's entire spring break mission trip blog, so there's other pple from other trips blogging too. check out my jamaica one! :)
http://www.taylor.edu/weblogs/springbreak/
:)
Thursday, March 29, 2007
random pics! :)
me n rebecca. LOVE this pic! rawwkkk on!!!
cate,cartoon n me bowling..
this was during the snow storm days. we played around at this huge snow fort that some guys built.
me,cartoon n cait. we sucked at bowling. haha
countdown to spring break '07!
omg. can't believe spring break is in TWO days! time really flies.
mon we had our jamaica send-off partayyy! planned by yours truly plus two other girls...we had a scavenger hunt arnd upland, then a pizza party at jess' place..with smoothies in coconut cups n little umbrella straws..and a blow up coconut tree. haha. i miss the beach!! practised a bit for our worship with all our sound equipment stuffs.
made a walmart run arnd 11pm..got all my necessities for jamaica! like sunblock. and motion sickness medicine. i got this liquid thingy that is supposed to make nausea go away when u rub it behind ur ear. it's all natural! mum be proud! hope it works. haha. as long as it's not pills, i'm fine with it. now i'm all ready for the beach!!! :) anw katie drove me to walmart..she's such an awesome person. she's my DA too (sorta like a spiritual advisor/leader)..we talked alot..she's a senior n graduating this may..but she still doesn't know what she wants (or what God wants) to do with her life. which made me feel much better. i've still got 4 years to figure this out..and we talked about Christian Ed..and working in churches..and how it'll be useless in s'pore n only useful if i stay on in america..and she kinda helped me decide to stick with my christian ed minor and not switch to psych. i wanna do what i want. even though the other voices in my life are telling me otherwise. cuz...it is my life after all. plus i feel pretty gd n at peace abt it :)
ystdy was indian wok nite! i cooked the chicken. hehe. slimy, gross, raw chicken touched my fingers (almost.i wore gloves) n made a sizzling sound when they plopped onto the frying thingy. yummy. the curry was yummy! made me happy. ate so much rice. the most since i've been here.
so today i finally got up early and made it to chapel..i didn't really get the point of the sermon. no one really did. it was kinda all over the place..so i got lost. heh. it was by our resident pastor randy, whom mostly everyone doesn't like cuz he speaks..not very well. i mean, he's great n wise n all..but i guess he just doesn't speak well. but i wasn't criticizing him or anything..tried to listen..but couldn't. heh. but God kinda reminded me of what someone said before (can't rem who)..about how it doesn't matter who's up there preaching. all u need to do is listen with a gd attitude and open heart and ask the Lord to speak to u through that person. ( i tink ps seng lee said that. he's smart. haha) which i found to be really true.
some junior high kids performed a mime/drama at chapel..it really touched my heart. made me tear. heh. was about how we're so distracted by the things of the world..can't break out of bondage..just keep sinking deeper and deeper..and then Jesus comes to save. I need to remind myself daily of the cross and Jesus' sacrifice n love for me.
mon we had our jamaica send-off partayyy! planned by yours truly plus two other girls...we had a scavenger hunt arnd upland, then a pizza party at jess' place..with smoothies in coconut cups n little umbrella straws..and a blow up coconut tree. haha. i miss the beach!! practised a bit for our worship with all our sound equipment stuffs.
made a walmart run arnd 11pm..got all my necessities for jamaica! like sunblock. and motion sickness medicine. i got this liquid thingy that is supposed to make nausea go away when u rub it behind ur ear. it's all natural! mum be proud! hope it works. haha. as long as it's not pills, i'm fine with it. now i'm all ready for the beach!!! :) anw katie drove me to walmart..she's such an awesome person. she's my DA too (sorta like a spiritual advisor/leader)..we talked alot..she's a senior n graduating this may..but she still doesn't know what she wants (or what God wants) to do with her life. which made me feel much better. i've still got 4 years to figure this out..and we talked about Christian Ed..and working in churches..and how it'll be useless in s'pore n only useful if i stay on in america..and she kinda helped me decide to stick with my christian ed minor and not switch to psych. i wanna do what i want. even though the other voices in my life are telling me otherwise. cuz...it is my life after all. plus i feel pretty gd n at peace abt it :)
ystdy was indian wok nite! i cooked the chicken. hehe. slimy, gross, raw chicken touched my fingers (almost.i wore gloves) n made a sizzling sound when they plopped onto the frying thingy. yummy. the curry was yummy! made me happy. ate so much rice. the most since i've been here.
so today i finally got up early and made it to chapel..i didn't really get the point of the sermon. no one really did. it was kinda all over the place..so i got lost. heh. it was by our resident pastor randy, whom mostly everyone doesn't like cuz he speaks..not very well. i mean, he's great n wise n all..but i guess he just doesn't speak well. but i wasn't criticizing him or anything..tried to listen..but couldn't. heh. but God kinda reminded me of what someone said before (can't rem who)..about how it doesn't matter who's up there preaching. all u need to do is listen with a gd attitude and open heart and ask the Lord to speak to u through that person. ( i tink ps seng lee said that. he's smart. haha) which i found to be really true.
some junior high kids performed a mime/drama at chapel..it really touched my heart. made me tear. heh. was about how we're so distracted by the things of the world..can't break out of bondage..just keep sinking deeper and deeper..and then Jesus comes to save. I need to remind myself daily of the cross and Jesus' sacrifice n love for me.
Monday, March 26, 2007
yay!
today was a YAY day! haha.
anw. fri we went bowling..at this smoky, awful place that made my eyes water. don't know why. but it was fun. the theme was eurotrash..so we kinda dressed up. haha. and we were wondering what the heck is eurotrash, and someone said..dress like benita! not sure if that was a compliment or an insult. heh.
ystdy was a gd day spent on hw. finally i have some time to relax and do hw! got lotsa stuff done. less stressed now. went shopping in the afternoon..new summer clothes for jamaica. yayyy :) we're gonna go climb a waterfall..go on a boatride/dinner (hope i dun get seasick cuz i tend to)..sounds more like a fun vacation than a mission trip. heh.
today we rehearsed for our programs for the schools and churches in jamaica..i'm doing guit for worship in churches..and part of the mime for the schools. heh. i'm the ROCKER! everyone unanimously agreed i fit the part. yay! haha. it's a drama about how all these pple on the wrong side of the road..druggies..rich girls..rockers..drunks..all come to find Jesus. pretty interesting. but not sure if they'll be offended or anything cuz it is kinda saying that these pple have messed up lives and need Jesus. then went over to Jess' house and set up the sound equipment. we're gonna bring these huge bags full of sound stuff to jamaica with us! so heavy. i'm less technologically ignorant now. proud of myself! haha.
today's weather was AWESOME! sun, sun, sun!
went to an old folks' home for TCA..wasn't really lookin forward to it..playing for the elderly..not sure if they'd even appreciate it. heh. but..it went pretty well..we got to talk to them after performing..and i talked to this one old lady..she was really interesting. haha. i told her to try eating frog legs. haha. so..i learnt not to discriminate against old pple. they have like, a lifetime of wisdom and life experience, and they totally deserve to hear the gospel too. :)
OH and i'm leaving next fri night..on the 30th march. driving to chicago (3hrs of driving!) airport in the evening..staying the night at a hotel..our flight's on the 31st at 7am!! sooo early. transit at memphis. reach jamaica sometime in the afternoon.
then coming back on 9th april..reach chicago at night..by the time we drive all the way back here, it'll be at least midnight. sighs. and the next day is class! no rest. but nvm. my strength and refuge will be in the Lord. or i'll just skip class. haha.
anw. fri we went bowling..at this smoky, awful place that made my eyes water. don't know why. but it was fun. the theme was eurotrash..so we kinda dressed up. haha. and we were wondering what the heck is eurotrash, and someone said..dress like benita! not sure if that was a compliment or an insult. heh.
ystdy was a gd day spent on hw. finally i have some time to relax and do hw! got lotsa stuff done. less stressed now. went shopping in the afternoon..new summer clothes for jamaica. yayyy :) we're gonna go climb a waterfall..go on a boatride/dinner (hope i dun get seasick cuz i tend to)..sounds more like a fun vacation than a mission trip. heh.
today we rehearsed for our programs for the schools and churches in jamaica..i'm doing guit for worship in churches..and part of the mime for the schools. heh. i'm the ROCKER! everyone unanimously agreed i fit the part. yay! haha. it's a drama about how all these pple on the wrong side of the road..druggies..rich girls..rockers..drunks..all come to find Jesus. pretty interesting. but not sure if they'll be offended or anything cuz it is kinda saying that these pple have messed up lives and need Jesus. then went over to Jess' house and set up the sound equipment. we're gonna bring these huge bags full of sound stuff to jamaica with us! so heavy. i'm less technologically ignorant now. proud of myself! haha.
today's weather was AWESOME! sun, sun, sun!
went to an old folks' home for TCA..wasn't really lookin forward to it..playing for the elderly..not sure if they'd even appreciate it. heh. but..it went pretty well..we got to talk to them after performing..and i talked to this one old lady..she was really interesting. haha. i told her to try eating frog legs. haha. so..i learnt not to discriminate against old pple. they have like, a lifetime of wisdom and life experience, and they totally deserve to hear the gospel too. :)
OH and i'm leaving next fri night..on the 30th march. driving to chicago (3hrs of driving!) airport in the evening..staying the night at a hotel..our flight's on the 31st at 7am!! sooo early. transit at memphis. reach jamaica sometime in the afternoon.
then coming back on 9th april..reach chicago at night..by the time we drive all the way back here, it'll be at least midnight. sighs. and the next day is class! no rest. but nvm. my strength and refuge will be in the Lord. or i'll just skip class. haha.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
all grown up
so..just talked to my parents..made me feel quite sad. like..jedi's all grown up and going out to watch movies with his friends! this sounds dumb but..he probably doesn't need/want me anymore!! he doesn't like me anymore! he'll probably forget he had a sister esp now when he gets into his teenage years..just like jeremy :( feel like i'm just missin out on pple's lives..like my brothers..and cousins..all growing up without me being there to experience it with them. makes me feel kinda far away and forgotten.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sweetly broken
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
and God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees
And I am, Lost for words, so lost in love
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
I realized I'm really tremendously blessed by the Lord. Especially in the area of studies. Thank You Lord for Your grace and abundant blessings~
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
and God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees
And I am, Lost for words, so lost in love
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
I realized I'm really tremendously blessed by the Lord. Especially in the area of studies. Thank You Lord for Your grace and abundant blessings~
Monday, March 19, 2007
TCA ministry
today was awesomely fun! :) :) :)
drove an hour to Winchester (another town in indiana) with a whole group of random pple for our TCA gig. it went really well for our first performance together as a group..we did 'come now is the time to worship'blessed be your name'hear our praises'mighty to save'sweetly broken'from the inside out'heart of worship'how great is our god'
few kinks here and there..but no one could tell except us. haha. it was great to finally have a drummer though. made everything sound that much better. even though he couldn't hear my guit and i couldn't hear the piano. we just played by faith trusting that we were in sync. haha. everyone appreciated us being there n leading worship, so that was really cool. the pastor preached from an episode frm everybody loves raymond, abt how going to church doesn't necessarily mean we're saved. kinda weird n random..and i didn't really get the point. heh. but they fed us good food! desserts. and they made us take all the leftovers back with us. luke took like, 5 huge plates stacked high with brownies, cakes, cookies. haha. i love how the churches always feed us like we're some malnutritioned kids.
anw..someone tell me how G12 conference went!!
drove an hour to Winchester (another town in indiana) with a whole group of random pple for our TCA gig. it went really well for our first performance together as a group..we did 'come now is the time to worship'blessed be your name'hear our praises'mighty to save'sweetly broken'from the inside out'heart of worship'how great is our god'
few kinks here and there..but no one could tell except us. haha. it was great to finally have a drummer though. made everything sound that much better. even though he couldn't hear my guit and i couldn't hear the piano. we just played by faith trusting that we were in sync. haha. everyone appreciated us being there n leading worship, so that was really cool. the pastor preached from an episode frm everybody loves raymond, abt how going to church doesn't necessarily mean we're saved. kinda weird n random..and i didn't really get the point. heh. but they fed us good food! desserts. and they made us take all the leftovers back with us. luke took like, 5 huge plates stacked high with brownies, cakes, cookies. haha. i love how the churches always feed us like we're some malnutritioned kids.
anw..someone tell me how G12 conference went!!
sweetly broken..wholly surrendered~~
my new fav song! sweetly broken! such an awesome song :) one of the songs we're playing for TCA later! going to this church for their youth group to do worship..pretty excited. we finally have a drummer. and it sounds gd! at least as gd as it can get seeing as how we only practised twice. heh. and we're playing hillsongs!~ happiness. but ystdy spent like the whole afternoon practising until my fingers hurt really bad. at least we got our act together :)
so this weekend was full of awful movies. well not that awful but pretty bad. watched the motorcycle diaries on fri. kinda fell asleep somewhere in the movie. then at the end i realized it was a true story about che guevera..some revolutionary guy. which i thought was cool, but by then the movie was over. haha.
then ystdy watched 300 at the theatre. such a waste of money can! it was a total horrid pervertic gross show. don't know why i went. well i guess cuz i had no idea what it was about until it started! heh. but yeah. it was bad. and it was rated R here..which is 17 and above..so not appropriate! think the R21 rating in s'pore is more appropriate. can't imagine 17 year olds being allowed to see movies like this. no wonder america's deteriorating.
so i was reading 1 and 2 samuel for biblical literature. SO interesting! i know this sounds horrible, but i never knew the old testament could be so fascinating. all that stuff that happened..from eli to samuel to saul to david etc..wow. i got so caught up in it i read the whole 1samuel in one night. was pretty cool.
also..whoever's reading this..pray for my mummy! she's sick. got some kinda inflammation of the stomach lining. cant eat anything since last week. so she's pretty weak. pls pray that the Lord's healing hands will be upon her and take away her pain and discomfort. and that He will be her source of strength and heal her of her sickness. Amen!
so this weekend was full of awful movies. well not that awful but pretty bad. watched the motorcycle diaries on fri. kinda fell asleep somewhere in the movie. then at the end i realized it was a true story about che guevera..some revolutionary guy. which i thought was cool, but by then the movie was over. haha.
then ystdy watched 300 at the theatre. such a waste of money can! it was a total horrid pervertic gross show. don't know why i went. well i guess cuz i had no idea what it was about until it started! heh. but yeah. it was bad. and it was rated R here..which is 17 and above..so not appropriate! think the R21 rating in s'pore is more appropriate. can't imagine 17 year olds being allowed to see movies like this. no wonder america's deteriorating.
so i was reading 1 and 2 samuel for biblical literature. SO interesting! i know this sounds horrible, but i never knew the old testament could be so fascinating. all that stuff that happened..from eli to samuel to saul to david etc..wow. i got so caught up in it i read the whole 1samuel in one night. was pretty cool.
also..whoever's reading this..pray for my mummy! she's sick. got some kinda inflammation of the stomach lining. cant eat anything since last week. so she's pretty weak. pls pray that the Lord's healing hands will be upon her and take away her pain and discomfort. and that He will be her source of strength and heal her of her sickness. Amen!
Friday, March 16, 2007
omg it's MARCH
life is good! feels like time has just passed me by. it's march already!!! can't believe it. i thought 2007 just arrived. soon i'll be home!! so fast. anw..decided not to do any summer courses or whatever. just gonna slack and enjoy my 3mths of H-O-L-I-D-A-Y! yay. i love slacking. been pretty busy. well..i guess i make myself busy by being involved in all this stuff. started a weekly bible study over lunch with a friend. accountability! yay. was good.
today in class felt kinda weirded out. well not just today. quite a few times. only in christian ed, cuz it's a small group of pple so more personal. anw..everyone was like asking questions (like they always do) about the assignments and stuff, and i'm perfectly quiet cuz i understand what needs to be done and i just don't have anything to ask (as usual). and the prof was like suddenly targeting me and asking me if i had questions. i don't understand why pple here keep asking questions! gosh. maybe i'm just too used to s'porean system. just take everything in and memorize. don't need to understand. here they really ask until they completely understand.
anw..doing inductive bible study now. kinda like it. felt it was pretty easy. but apparently only i felt that way. pple spent like 4+++ hours on an assignment while i crapped my way through in 1hour. heh. and i got full marks! and the prof kinda told the class that. now everyone thinks i'm a genius of some sorts. seriously, the tests n assignments here aren't that hard. i guess i just like analyzing stuff. but that was kinda the bad part..like we analyze the bible..and that makes it feel like some literature text instead of holy scripture. but its gd. makes me think more in depth.
won our second bball game for intramurals! only cuz the other team was mortifyingly horrid. they didn't take it seriously. which was nice. sometimes it gets too competitive for me. anw they dressed up. there was even a poofed up cow and pig costume. haha.
leadership class is over! thank God! it was pretty much awfully boring. but we did raise 75bucks for the mexico spring break trip team for our leadership project. sat in the DC and begged pple to donate for our honorable cause on mon & tue. got the mexico team all rifled up cuz our signs upset them. i think it said smth like..'support the mexico spring break team AND bail your relatives out of purgatory!' alot of pple got a kick out of it. but i guess the mexico team didn't. oh well.
today in class felt kinda weirded out. well not just today. quite a few times. only in christian ed, cuz it's a small group of pple so more personal. anw..everyone was like asking questions (like they always do) about the assignments and stuff, and i'm perfectly quiet cuz i understand what needs to be done and i just don't have anything to ask (as usual). and the prof was like suddenly targeting me and asking me if i had questions. i don't understand why pple here keep asking questions! gosh. maybe i'm just too used to s'porean system. just take everything in and memorize. don't need to understand. here they really ask until they completely understand.
anw..doing inductive bible study now. kinda like it. felt it was pretty easy. but apparently only i felt that way. pple spent like 4+++ hours on an assignment while i crapped my way through in 1hour. heh. and i got full marks! and the prof kinda told the class that. now everyone thinks i'm a genius of some sorts. seriously, the tests n assignments here aren't that hard. i guess i just like analyzing stuff. but that was kinda the bad part..like we analyze the bible..and that makes it feel like some literature text instead of holy scripture. but its gd. makes me think more in depth.
won our second bball game for intramurals! only cuz the other team was mortifyingly horrid. they didn't take it seriously. which was nice. sometimes it gets too competitive for me. anw they dressed up. there was even a poofed up cow and pig costume. haha.
leadership class is over! thank God! it was pretty much awfully boring. but we did raise 75bucks for the mexico spring break trip team for our leadership project. sat in the DC and begged pple to donate for our honorable cause on mon & tue. got the mexico team all rifled up cuz our signs upset them. i think it said smth like..'support the mexico spring break team AND bail your relatives out of purgatory!' alot of pple got a kick out of it. but i guess the mexico team didn't. oh well.
Monday, March 12, 2007
retreat!
fri went to the christian ed retreat..didn't really wanna go. didn't really know anyone who was going..but forced to go for a class, so..had to get outta my comfort zone again! painful but it did me gd. haha. the guy who drove the car i was in was like some crazy dangerous person!!! he would talk or put a cd in or do something random, and then he wouldn't pay attention to the road, and so we'd swerve dangerously to another lane. omg. such a scary ride. but thank God we got to the church n back safely :) had a pretty gd time too! meeting new pple..laughing crazily over Mad Gab. omg SUCH a funny game. it's like they give u some random words that sound like a phrase n u have to guess the phrase. really hilarious if u know the phrase they're trying to pronounce n it sounds like they're learning a new language. took a tour of the church with a couple of pple. was fun. we laughed alot at the most randomest things. haha.
anw the theme of the retreat was the sabbath..rest..reflect. had a gd time of worship..then they had rooms like prayer, meditation, worship, communion..it was a really gd non-hectic time. just me and the Lord. and got to partake of the Lord's supper for the first time since christmas break. that was intense for me..spent most of my time in the meditation room..really wanted to go worship, but i knew i was missing out on His Word..so wanted to just soak in what He had to say to me. feel refreshed after that. they took away our watches/hp so no one had any concept of time...we just spent time with the Lord and didn't get distracted by anything else.
so came back fri night, hardly got any sleep..then off to mukappa retreat on sat morn! yay! slept pretty much throughout the car ride there..too tired. haha. the place was pretty nice..summer camp cabin style. only bad thing was the water seriously stank. smelt like rotten eggs. ugghhh. but the sun was FINALLY out!!!! 50degrees farenheit! yeah!! cold but at least i could feel the rays of the sun! sooo happie. tried to get a tan. i am SO white now it's not even funny. anw..we played games..shared embarrassing stories abt each other..played the question game frm orientation..stressful. it's like u have to answer pple's questions with a question of ur own to someone else..i won the last time..almost won again this time! haha. learnt so many new cards games..played monkey..soccer style. haha. almost broke the lights on the ceiling with the soccer ball. heh.
i helped to lead worship for the two sessions. was really fun. loved it! don't know why i never realized this before, but my roommate's a voice major and she suggested us getting together n doing worship tog..maybe for our floor or smth. duhh! how come i never thought of this before! haha. we shld totally do it. lookin forward to it!!
slept at like 3+am..had daylight savings time again. so at 2am the clock went one hr forward. we lost an hr. :( got high playing foosball and around-the-world table tennis. we actually entertained ourselves hitting the ping pong ball with our hands. haha. lack of sleep man.
sun morn..worship again! we did 'from the inside out' suggested by meee! haha. taught them 'hear our praises'..a new song for them but super old for me. but they loved it, which was awesome. :)
AND i am ON MY WAY to forming a chapel band!~!~ omg. SO super excited!!!! i found a drummer, a bassist (maybe), a pianist, me on guitar, and two singers!!!! aaahhh! i just need an electric guitarist! which is kinda hard to find. but oh well. we could prob do without that. but yeahhh!!! really excited. should get everyone together to prac for chapel band auditions in the fall!! and there are SO many gigs coming up for TCA..2 each month i think. exciting! so much stuff happening!!! God is so good!
anw the theme of the retreat was the sabbath..rest..reflect. had a gd time of worship..then they had rooms like prayer, meditation, worship, communion..it was a really gd non-hectic time. just me and the Lord. and got to partake of the Lord's supper for the first time since christmas break. that was intense for me..spent most of my time in the meditation room..really wanted to go worship, but i knew i was missing out on His Word..so wanted to just soak in what He had to say to me. feel refreshed after that. they took away our watches/hp so no one had any concept of time...we just spent time with the Lord and didn't get distracted by anything else.
so came back fri night, hardly got any sleep..then off to mukappa retreat on sat morn! yay! slept pretty much throughout the car ride there..too tired. haha. the place was pretty nice..summer camp cabin style. only bad thing was the water seriously stank. smelt like rotten eggs. ugghhh. but the sun was FINALLY out!!!! 50degrees farenheit! yeah!! cold but at least i could feel the rays of the sun! sooo happie. tried to get a tan. i am SO white now it's not even funny. anw..we played games..shared embarrassing stories abt each other..played the question game frm orientation..stressful. it's like u have to answer pple's questions with a question of ur own to someone else..i won the last time..almost won again this time! haha. learnt so many new cards games..played monkey..soccer style. haha. almost broke the lights on the ceiling with the soccer ball. heh.
i helped to lead worship for the two sessions. was really fun. loved it! don't know why i never realized this before, but my roommate's a voice major and she suggested us getting together n doing worship tog..maybe for our floor or smth. duhh! how come i never thought of this before! haha. we shld totally do it. lookin forward to it!!
slept at like 3+am..had daylight savings time again. so at 2am the clock went one hr forward. we lost an hr. :( got high playing foosball and around-the-world table tennis. we actually entertained ourselves hitting the ping pong ball with our hands. haha. lack of sleep man.
sun morn..worship again! we did 'from the inside out' suggested by meee! haha. taught them 'hear our praises'..a new song for them but super old for me. but they loved it, which was awesome. :)
AND i am ON MY WAY to forming a chapel band!~!~ omg. SO super excited!!!! i found a drummer, a bassist (maybe), a pianist, me on guitar, and two singers!!!! aaahhh! i just need an electric guitarist! which is kinda hard to find. but oh well. we could prob do without that. but yeahhh!!! really excited. should get everyone together to prac for chapel band auditions in the fall!! and there are SO many gigs coming up for TCA..2 each month i think. exciting! so much stuff happening!!! God is so good!
Friday, March 09, 2007
where is the love
today i heard of racist incidents happening right here at taylor in upland, indiana. it shocked me. mostly prejudiced actions against africans/african americans, and they were pretty mean. it upset me. what the heck is wrong with these people? how can they claim to be christians and yet discriminate against their own brother/sister in Christ? how they can even treat someone this way just baffles me. i'm pretty sure the love of God isn't in them. it's just upsetting to hear of such stuff occurring even in a Christian community. why can't we all just get along and be united as one in Christ? i never had to deal with ethnicity and the church before, but i can see it's a huge issue in the States. some people are just so ignorant and horrid.
today for leadership class we had an exercise. it was pretty intense. we were split up into 4 groups, and each grp had to build a community of their own without crossing the boundary to the next. no communication was allowed, so we pretty much kept to ourselves and focused on constructing our community out of cardboard boxes. at first it was fun, building our little home, school, mall and hospital. but things got heated up when the sheriffs and housing inspector pulled down our buildings due to unreasonable and irrational reasons. people wanted to rebel and riot and get back at the mean government. some pple got really mad even though it was just an exercise. intense!
i laughed through it all. pple were really funny. getting themselves thrown into 'jail' and rebelling against the govt..becoming outcasts n all. haha. we had our own roles, and i was the teacher/shop owner. our very own 'pastor' + night watch director and hospital chaplain abandoned us n joined the rebellion. haha. my grp was hilarious. we decided to have a prayer meeting in the midst of everyone else rioting in hopes that the housing inspector would return our houses to us. haha.
anw..the point was to see how different groups reacted to different situations. my group had a pretty huge space, lots of money and materials to build our community. but the govt kept taking away stuff from us and giving to the privileged group. they had anything they wanted because the govt was biased in their favor. the other 2 groups were pretty much poor and living in the 'slumps', and so alot of them rebelled. i guess the point was that life is unfair, but we just gotta deal and overcome struggles keeping in mind to do what Jesus would do.
today for leadership class we had an exercise. it was pretty intense. we were split up into 4 groups, and each grp had to build a community of their own without crossing the boundary to the next. no communication was allowed, so we pretty much kept to ourselves and focused on constructing our community out of cardboard boxes. at first it was fun, building our little home, school, mall and hospital. but things got heated up when the sheriffs and housing inspector pulled down our buildings due to unreasonable and irrational reasons. people wanted to rebel and riot and get back at the mean government. some pple got really mad even though it was just an exercise. intense!
i laughed through it all. pple were really funny. getting themselves thrown into 'jail' and rebelling against the govt..becoming outcasts n all. haha. we had our own roles, and i was the teacher/shop owner. our very own 'pastor' + night watch director and hospital chaplain abandoned us n joined the rebellion. haha. my grp was hilarious. we decided to have a prayer meeting in the midst of everyone else rioting in hopes that the housing inspector would return our houses to us. haha.
anw..the point was to see how different groups reacted to different situations. my group had a pretty huge space, lots of money and materials to build our community. but the govt kept taking away stuff from us and giving to the privileged group. they had anything they wanted because the govt was biased in their favor. the other 2 groups were pretty much poor and living in the 'slumps', and so alot of them rebelled. i guess the point was that life is unfair, but we just gotta deal and overcome struggles keeping in mind to do what Jesus would do.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
pics from broomball pick a date
me,luke,cartoon n daniel (the half jap guy everyone thinks is hot. haha)
sarah lu n me. everyone thinks we look alike. do we? i don't think so. but then..i guess all asians look alike to angmohs.
double date at the ice skating rink!
cartoon,christine (our courageous driver who braved the snow n got us there n back safely), me
luke n me after ice skating. i didn't know ice skating could be so tiring! my legs were aching. but it was fun! :)
finally my adding pics thingy works :)
these were taken from our chinese new yr celeb last sun at the souphouse..
me n alicia! love her~ she's my fav person frm malaysia :)
me n sung ah..she's wearing the traditional korean hanbok(?) thingy. so cute rite!
me,cartoon,rachael,rebecca. asian pose. haha
capri,cartoon,me,rebecca. satisfied after eating :)
katie n me! she's my DA (discipleship assistant-kinda like spiritual leader) from gerig.
me n alicia! love her~ she's my fav person frm malaysia :)
me n sung ah..she's wearing the traditional korean hanbok(?) thingy. so cute rite!
me,cartoon,rachael,rebecca. asian pose. haha
capri,cartoon,me,rebecca. satisfied after eating :)
katie n me! she's my DA (discipleship assistant-kinda like spiritual leader) from gerig.
Monday, March 05, 2007
busyness
next wk i'm gonna be so busy, it's not even funny. hw, stupid art projects that take me eons to finish and i don't even know why i'm taking the class since i'm a comm writing major, not a film production major, 3 huge tests..probably won't get back to my room everyday till at least 10+pm..sigh. and i have TWO retreats crammed into next weekend. wish me strength!
this weekend was pretty crazy too..fri was soup + movie night..yesterday we had our gerig Broomball pick-a-date at indianapolis..which is like the city of indiana. abt 2 hrs away frm taylor.
Broomball's like ice hockey..only we play it with brooms as hockey sticks, we wear our shoes instead of ice skates, and the balls are like 1/2 the size of a football. it was pretty intense. and super fun!!!
spent the afternoon decorating our brooms. haha. mine's purple and red and white (for s'pore flag!)..color coordinated with luke's broom..he was my 'date'. but he's cool, so it wasn't awkward or anything.
bcuz pick-a-dates can get awkward if u actually ask someone u like. heh. sooo..the rink was pretty crazy. tons of pple chasing after 3 balls..trying to knock them into the goals..pple falling and slipping on the ice..and we did girls vs guys..and the girls wons! with help from some guys who betrayed their team. haha. went ice skating after that. my ice skating skills pretty much suck now. but..was still fun :)
not so fun part..we got lost getting there and coming back. coming back was the most intense. we drove in circles for FOUR hours pointlessly. but conversation was fun and we got high eating donuts and soda as a midnight snack. haha. driving in winter can get kinda scary. the snow's coming frm all directions at high speeds and u can barely see anything, plus the slippery ice on the road doesn't help. but thank God we got back safety at like 3am.
barely got any sleep then had to get up and go to church.
OMG. i have found THE church to go to! God is so random and good! i went with this girl i met randomly, and the church was SO similar to FCBC, it's scarily cool. they have a baptism pool, their worship is contemporary, pple speak in tongues and sing a new song to God (hallelujah!), the pastor's energetic like ps. khong, they actually have an altar call and pple in front to minister (praise the Lord), and they have school of leaders and encounters!!! i was like..whoa!!! where did this come from?? aren't the similarities eerily cool???? God is like, so good. i can't even express it in words. and the people are amazingly wonderful. made us feel so welcome!!
we sat with the hispanics pple cuz my fren's involved in their hispanic church..they were sooo nice to us even though they couldn't really speak english. i was like, i HAVE to come back every week! and they have a youth group! i should get involved!!!! really excited now :) i finally found a place where i can possibly call my second spiritual home!!!
only thing was, the pastor kept repeating himself in the sermon, which got kinda old after a while. but God did use him to speak to me, and that was cool.
this weekend was pretty crazy too..fri was soup + movie night..yesterday we had our gerig Broomball pick-a-date at indianapolis..which is like the city of indiana. abt 2 hrs away frm taylor.
Broomball's like ice hockey..only we play it with brooms as hockey sticks, we wear our shoes instead of ice skates, and the balls are like 1/2 the size of a football. it was pretty intense. and super fun!!!
spent the afternoon decorating our brooms. haha. mine's purple and red and white (for s'pore flag!)..color coordinated with luke's broom..he was my 'date'. but he's cool, so it wasn't awkward or anything.
bcuz pick-a-dates can get awkward if u actually ask someone u like. heh. sooo..the rink was pretty crazy. tons of pple chasing after 3 balls..trying to knock them into the goals..pple falling and slipping on the ice..and we did girls vs guys..and the girls wons! with help from some guys who betrayed their team. haha. went ice skating after that. my ice skating skills pretty much suck now. but..was still fun :)
not so fun part..we got lost getting there and coming back. coming back was the most intense. we drove in circles for FOUR hours pointlessly. but conversation was fun and we got high eating donuts and soda as a midnight snack. haha. driving in winter can get kinda scary. the snow's coming frm all directions at high speeds and u can barely see anything, plus the slippery ice on the road doesn't help. but thank God we got back safety at like 3am.
barely got any sleep then had to get up and go to church.
OMG. i have found THE church to go to! God is so random and good! i went with this girl i met randomly, and the church was SO similar to FCBC, it's scarily cool. they have a baptism pool, their worship is contemporary, pple speak in tongues and sing a new song to God (hallelujah!), the pastor's energetic like ps. khong, they actually have an altar call and pple in front to minister (praise the Lord), and they have school of leaders and encounters!!! i was like..whoa!!! where did this come from?? aren't the similarities eerily cool???? God is like, so good. i can't even express it in words. and the people are amazingly wonderful. made us feel so welcome!!
we sat with the hispanics pple cuz my fren's involved in their hispanic church..they were sooo nice to us even though they couldn't really speak english. i was like, i HAVE to come back every week! and they have a youth group! i should get involved!!!! really excited now :) i finally found a place where i can possibly call my second spiritual home!!!
only thing was, the pastor kept repeating himself in the sermon, which got kinda old after a while. but God did use him to speak to me, and that was cool.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
His unfailing love
~everything You hold in Your hand, still You make time for me, i can't understand~
well..everything's better now. i feel like a peace mediator. haha. i guess it's gd being in the middle..since i dun like conflict, and am not good at handling someone being mad at me..pple are happier. which makes me happier. :)
really excited about jamaica!!! we're gonna be doing worship..drama..construction..orphanages..everything all in 10 days! haha. can't wait :) i'm in charge of our send off. gonna plan a huge partayyy for us! haha.
anw..got my hepatitis a vaccination..wasn't so bad. i have become more brave. thank You Lord! :) played more bball intramurals..got thrashed again. this time wasn't our fault k! we played against this team that had like, 3 taylor bball girls on it! how unfair is that? they were totally rough too. after a while i was like, i dun care anymore! so they won 44-0. really embarrassing since lots of guys were watching our demise from the sides. ugh.
today went for my ministry involvement at U-Turn! first time..quite nervous..but turned out to be great! was praying so hard it won't be awkward, and it wasn't! anw..U-Turn is a ministry with kids 9-12 yrs old who haven't really heard much about the bible and God and stuff..so we hang out with them, do bible study, and play games! gosh those kids are like walking bundles of energy. zooming everywhere! trying to catch up with them takes up all my energy. haha. but i loved it. was great just to get away from the complexity of adult stuff and get into the simple kid world. :) they were so adorable too. talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends like they were some 20 yr old..gosh. they're probably more experienced than me! it was funny. haha.
i think this is where God wants me. since the other 2 doors were closed, and this was opened..so..i'll prob stay here for the next 8 wks! :)
well..everything's better now. i feel like a peace mediator. haha. i guess it's gd being in the middle..since i dun like conflict, and am not good at handling someone being mad at me..pple are happier. which makes me happier. :)
really excited about jamaica!!! we're gonna be doing worship..drama..construction..orphanages..everything all in 10 days! haha. can't wait :) i'm in charge of our send off. gonna plan a huge partayyy for us! haha.
anw..got my hepatitis a vaccination..wasn't so bad. i have become more brave. thank You Lord! :) played more bball intramurals..got thrashed again. this time wasn't our fault k! we played against this team that had like, 3 taylor bball girls on it! how unfair is that? they were totally rough too. after a while i was like, i dun care anymore! so they won 44-0. really embarrassing since lots of guys were watching our demise from the sides. ugh.
today went for my ministry involvement at U-Turn! first time..quite nervous..but turned out to be great! was praying so hard it won't be awkward, and it wasn't! anw..U-Turn is a ministry with kids 9-12 yrs old who haven't really heard much about the bible and God and stuff..so we hang out with them, do bible study, and play games! gosh those kids are like walking bundles of energy. zooming everywhere! trying to catch up with them takes up all my energy. haha. but i loved it. was great just to get away from the complexity of adult stuff and get into the simple kid world. :) they were so adorable too. talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends like they were some 20 yr old..gosh. they're probably more experienced than me! it was funny. haha.
i think this is where God wants me. since the other 2 doors were closed, and this was opened..so..i'll prob stay here for the next 8 wks! :)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
beautiful love
so suanggita called me today! at the wee hours of the morning again. haha. but really happy to hear her voice :) God has such gd timing. all the best for A level results everyone!!! dun worry!! look at me, i turned out fine :)
anw yesterday was chinese new year party at the souphouse! (even though i was pretty sad i did manage to forget about all the stuffs and have a gd time) ate such wonderful food! helped cook thai food..i'm proud of my new cooking skills. haha. there was sushi, kimchi fried rice (the best EVER! and i dun even like kimchi. that says alot), tom yum soup, noodles..yummilicious. plus of cuz good company. the place was packed! and everyone was wearing red. made me happy :)
so about the ministry thing, found a youth group from a church 20mins away..emailed them..found a children's bible study program thing..emailed them. just waiting to see which door God opens so i can do whatever He wants me to. because He knows best :)
anw yesterday was chinese new year party at the souphouse! (even though i was pretty sad i did manage to forget about all the stuffs and have a gd time) ate such wonderful food! helped cook thai food..i'm proud of my new cooking skills. haha. there was sushi, kimchi fried rice (the best EVER! and i dun even like kimchi. that says alot), tom yum soup, noodles..yummilicious. plus of cuz good company. the place was packed! and everyone was wearing red. made me happy :)
so about the ministry thing, found a youth group from a church 20mins away..emailed them..found a children's bible study program thing..emailed them. just waiting to see which door God opens so i can do whatever He wants me to. because He knows best :)
Monday, February 26, 2007
down in the dumps
feeling kinda down today..lotsa stuff happening around me. people fighting over all sorts of reasons..friendships filled with tension over something i didn't even know mattered..people breaking down over shattered hearts..worry over what ministry to get involved with for class..turned down by a few already cuz they have enough leaders..not that i think i'll be a good enough leader cuz my life feels like it's a wreck right now..still don't have a church and a community i can feel at home with..
and i just..
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i can't see the future
what plans You have for me
i can't go back to the past
change the wrongs and hurts
i can't stand the present
this mess i find myself in
my heart is torn into pieces
and the only one who can put me back together is
You
and i just..
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i can't see the future
what plans You have for me
i can't go back to the past
change the wrongs and hurts
i can't stand the present
this mess i find myself in
my heart is torn into pieces
and the only one who can put me back together is
You
Saturday, February 24, 2007
sore..
my arm's so sore..feels like it's gonna fall off any moment..arggghh..stupid tetanus shot.
think i've got insomnia or smth. can't really sleep the past few days. dunno why! :( nothing on my mind..just tossing and turning in bed. feeling really tired in classes..can't really concentrate. time really flies though. can't believe it's feb already!
so there's this guy who likes me..which is weird cuz i dun really know him. we had like, one class tog last semester, and i spoke like 2 sentences to him before..that's all. so i find out he likes me n i'm completely shocked. and he asked me on a pick-a-date, but i had class that night, so..now i dun really know what to say whenever i see him arnd sch. heh. plus trying to avoid this other guy who might possibly ask me out too.. ..... i wish guys weren't so complicated. all i wanna focus on now is studies and God..but it feels like guys always pop up randomly and distract me. :(
Lord be the centre of my life
think i've got insomnia or smth. can't really sleep the past few days. dunno why! :( nothing on my mind..just tossing and turning in bed. feeling really tired in classes..can't really concentrate. time really flies though. can't believe it's feb already!
so there's this guy who likes me..which is weird cuz i dun really know him. we had like, one class tog last semester, and i spoke like 2 sentences to him before..that's all. so i find out he likes me n i'm completely shocked. and he asked me on a pick-a-date, but i had class that night, so..now i dun really know what to say whenever i see him arnd sch. heh. plus trying to avoid this other guy who might possibly ask me out too.. ..... i wish guys weren't so complicated. all i wanna focus on now is studies and God..but it feels like guys always pop up randomly and distract me. :(
Lord be the centre of my life
Friday, February 23, 2007
yay! this is my art project for current affairs. it's like on death and destruction and despair..but yet there's always hope as seen by the linking of hands and the guy praying..they're strategically placed in the sky where God is. haha.
got my tetanus shot today! was so freaked out by stupid josh. nearly cried n wanted my mummy there! but the nurse just poked me with the needle and it was over, and i felt tremendously foolish for being so scared. haha. have to go back for another shot next wk. :(
Thursday, February 22, 2007
pics just for joce :)
me in pink! some girls n i wore red/pink this wk to celeb CNY in our own way :) the only way i'll ever wear pink. haha.
us bowling..we got thrashed by the other team. haha.
my jamaica spring break mission team! gettin to know them better :)
me n alex after our gerig girls dance party! was awesome. our very own club in our hallway :)
me and rachael at capri's bdae party
yay!
SO my 1.5 mile run is over! i walked half the time..haha. made it in 20mins. and got into a deep conversation with a classmate while we walked tog. so i'd say it was a rather enjoyable 'run' :)
ystdy had my first COS104 (computing class) quiz..guessed the whole thing. couldn't bother studying. sooo boring! all that stuff about whatever's inside the com..like i care! i just want it to work! so anw..my guessing skills are pretty rockin' cuz i got 6/10! pleasant surprise. haha.
worked on photoshop for my art project..the theme was current affairs, so i did the indonesian flood. not that i know anything that's goin on arnd the world now..i looked to my parents for help. haha. the only current thing i know is britney spears shaved her head. haha. will try and put my art piece up on my blog if i can. :) it's pretty sucky, but..whatever. my fren who's an art major was like..you'll prob have to spend at least 7hrs on it. but i was done in 2hrs! so...that was cool. :)
ystdy's dinner was awesome. it was some special occasion..i have no idea what. but dinner was basically junk food. hot dogs, fries, cotton candy, popcorn, ice balls that looked like ice kachang but were tasteless..yup. and they set up a mini bball court in the DC..was like some bball event or smth. anw..had fun throwing popcorn at pple and making a huge mess in the DC. feel bad for the pple who have to clean it up. heh.
today was Battle of the bands! it's like a competition where pple form bands and play covers of songs and we get to choose who wins..was pretty awesome. i knew like 3 out of the 5 bands that competed. this one guy was...whoaaaa. i bet all the girls are in love with him now. i am. haha. his guitar skills are like the most amazing EVER! and his voice! everyone was blown away. and i know him! he was in my class last sem.. didn't know he was so musically talented. :)
and then i played for intramural basketball for my dorm..we pretty much got thrashed. and by the soccer team no less. 28-5. haha. oh well. it was really fun though. we were competitive but having fun still. and amazingly i'm not tired/sore! i'm energetic! i shld workout more :)
so today was really stressed out cuz had a million and one things to do and events to attend, but it's all over. glad i'm done with all my hw and stuff.
just gotta look forward to tmr..where i have to take my tetanus shots!! aaahhhh. i hate shots. seriously. pls pray for me. this stupid guy kept telling me how thick the needle was and how painful the shot was and he was scaring the bajookees out of me. still dunno whether he's kidding or not. meanoooo.
ystdy had my first COS104 (computing class) quiz..guessed the whole thing. couldn't bother studying. sooo boring! all that stuff about whatever's inside the com..like i care! i just want it to work! so anw..my guessing skills are pretty rockin' cuz i got 6/10! pleasant surprise. haha.
worked on photoshop for my art project..the theme was current affairs, so i did the indonesian flood. not that i know anything that's goin on arnd the world now..i looked to my parents for help. haha. the only current thing i know is britney spears shaved her head. haha. will try and put my art piece up on my blog if i can. :) it's pretty sucky, but..whatever. my fren who's an art major was like..you'll prob have to spend at least 7hrs on it. but i was done in 2hrs! so...that was cool. :)
ystdy's dinner was awesome. it was some special occasion..i have no idea what. but dinner was basically junk food. hot dogs, fries, cotton candy, popcorn, ice balls that looked like ice kachang but were tasteless..yup. and they set up a mini bball court in the DC..was like some bball event or smth. anw..had fun throwing popcorn at pple and making a huge mess in the DC. feel bad for the pple who have to clean it up. heh.
today was Battle of the bands! it's like a competition where pple form bands and play covers of songs and we get to choose who wins..was pretty awesome. i knew like 3 out of the 5 bands that competed. this one guy was...whoaaaa. i bet all the girls are in love with him now. i am. haha. his guitar skills are like the most amazing EVER! and his voice! everyone was blown away. and i know him! he was in my class last sem.. didn't know he was so musically talented. :)
and then i played for intramural basketball for my dorm..we pretty much got thrashed. and by the soccer team no less. 28-5. haha. oh well. it was really fun though. we were competitive but having fun still. and amazingly i'm not tired/sore! i'm energetic! i shld workout more :)
so today was really stressed out cuz had a million and one things to do and events to attend, but it's all over. glad i'm done with all my hw and stuff.
just gotta look forward to tmr..where i have to take my tetanus shots!! aaahhhh. i hate shots. seriously. pls pray for me. this stupid guy kept telling me how thick the needle was and how painful the shot was and he was scaring the bajookees out of me. still dunno whether he's kidding or not. meanoooo.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Misery
I am but so small and so weak
But still You readily give me strength
Sometimes I'm so powerless
You know it and You fill me up
I think no one else knows me
And all the things they cannot see
But even with the curtains drawn
You know everything that's going on
The best of me without You will fall
Sorrow comes and to Your feet I crawl
Though times I may want to give up
You still stay and You never doubt
In Your perfect purity
Even the light seems dark
How can I praise Your name
How can misery reach Your perfection?
But You still want me
You still love me
You hold on to me and cover me with Your hand
Take away my misery
So that I can be
more like You
Worship You still
- 19 april '05
Copyright by Benita Lee
But still You readily give me strength
Sometimes I'm so powerless
You know it and You fill me up
I think no one else knows me
And all the things they cannot see
But even with the curtains drawn
You know everything that's going on
The best of me without You will fall
Sorrow comes and to Your feet I crawl
Though times I may want to give up
You still stay and You never doubt
In Your perfect purity
Even the light seems dark
How can I praise Your name
How can misery reach Your perfection?
But You still want me
You still love me
You hold on to me and cover me with Your hand
Take away my misery
So that I can be
more like You
Worship You still
- 19 april '05
Copyright by Benita Lee
happy CNY to me
doesn't really feel like CNY here. missin out on all the atmosphere at home! the annoying CNY songs on the radio n tv..yummy food like my ah ma's cooking..all my angbaos..relatives i had no idea i had cuz we see each other once a year and forget they exist after that...aaahhhhh. sigh. today's just another ordinary day. like yesterday. and the day before. though my family called while in the midst of CNY celebrations. made me realize i miss CNY! grrrr.
fri had bubble tea party. was a happy day. so many pple came..laughed so hard like never before. haha. was asked to sing s'pore national anthem, and to my utter shame, i realized i forgot. hehe. only could remember mari kita...... uhhh.. blank. so much for 18 years of propaganda in sch. heh.
ystdy played in the snow again. need new gloves. 1min in the snow and my hands are numb. got hit in the head by a huge snowball made by stupid levi..it was 3 times the size of my head can! it hurt. after that, it was war. and like a hero, i ran away screaming until we reached the theatre. haha. went to see our very own taylor production with the set i helped paint! my name was in the brochure! i'm famous! yay! haha. it was ok..almost fell asleep at certain points. was pretty depressing. most plays i've seen are depressing. dunno why. but i loved their accents. so quaint.
today played at worship for forest park methodist church in fort wayne..went pretty alright. had fun..i really do love doin this. those pple are like really conservative, so their worship is mostly hymns and they rarely get to see this kinda worship, so they really really appreciated our presence there. it was so awesome to be welcomed and appreciated like that. they even cooked us lunch! homecooked meals do wonderful things to my starved stomach. :)
fri had bubble tea party. was a happy day. so many pple came..laughed so hard like never before. haha. was asked to sing s'pore national anthem, and to my utter shame, i realized i forgot. hehe. only could remember mari kita...... uhhh.. blank. so much for 18 years of propaganda in sch. heh.
ystdy played in the snow again. need new gloves. 1min in the snow and my hands are numb. got hit in the head by a huge snowball made by stupid levi..it was 3 times the size of my head can! it hurt. after that, it was war. and like a hero, i ran away screaming until we reached the theatre. haha. went to see our very own taylor production with the set i helped paint! my name was in the brochure! i'm famous! yay! haha. it was ok..almost fell asleep at certain points. was pretty depressing. most plays i've seen are depressing. dunno why. but i loved their accents. so quaint.
today played at worship for forest park methodist church in fort wayne..went pretty alright. had fun..i really do love doin this. those pple are like really conservative, so their worship is mostly hymns and they rarely get to see this kinda worship, so they really really appreciated our presence there. it was so awesome to be welcomed and appreciated like that. they even cooked us lunch! homecooked meals do wonderful things to my starved stomach. :)
Friday, February 16, 2007
In Christ Alone
ok, past few days, been really happy. even on cheesy valentine's day. cuz received lotsa chocs and cards! and 3 e-cards from my mummy n daddy! haha. they so cute. but today..depressed again. ughhhhh. pms. in pain. really wish i can break through in this aspect of my life. been haunting me for so long.
so..yesterday it all started again. feels like a vicious cycle. and this time it was worse, because it was my friend who said it. she was like, i dont get the church in america. who lifts up their hands in church?? and i was completely shocked. i was like, i do!!
sighhhh. i'm battling this... different denomination thing all over again. i hate it. why do we have to be divided? we should be united as a body in Christ, but this issue has been plaguing the body of Christ for so long and no one's doing anything about it. not like we can change anything anyway.
then..another friend, or friends rather. they were like, women shouldn't be holding leadership positions in the church. it's just not biblical. and i was like..ahhhh..Lord are You trying to test me or something? Now i'm like, it is really biblical that women cannot be leaders? then what's the Lord doing? putting all these dreams and grand ideas in my head, making me wanna serve Him, and then now i find out i can't. well it's probably not impossible, but it'll be a heck of a try. trying to fight my way through, to prove to these people that women can do it, that we're just as equally called to serve the Lord. feel like we as women have so much more work cut out for us. like we have to do much better than guys just to be seen as equal among them. so much pressure! now that i think about it, i've never seen a female worship leader in chapel either. great. am i supposed to be the only one who believes in myself and in God's power to work through me and use me?
can someone please tell me the verses for lifting our hands..for women serving in church..if there even are any..
so..yesterday it all started again. feels like a vicious cycle. and this time it was worse, because it was my friend who said it. she was like, i dont get the church in america. who lifts up their hands in church?? and i was completely shocked. i was like, i do!!
sighhhh. i'm battling this... different denomination thing all over again. i hate it. why do we have to be divided? we should be united as a body in Christ, but this issue has been plaguing the body of Christ for so long and no one's doing anything about it. not like we can change anything anyway.
then..another friend, or friends rather. they were like, women shouldn't be holding leadership positions in the church. it's just not biblical. and i was like..ahhhh..Lord are You trying to test me or something? Now i'm like, it is really biblical that women cannot be leaders? then what's the Lord doing? putting all these dreams and grand ideas in my head, making me wanna serve Him, and then now i find out i can't. well it's probably not impossible, but it'll be a heck of a try. trying to fight my way through, to prove to these people that women can do it, that we're just as equally called to serve the Lord. feel like we as women have so much more work cut out for us. like we have to do much better than guys just to be seen as equal among them. so much pressure! now that i think about it, i've never seen a female worship leader in chapel either. great. am i supposed to be the only one who believes in myself and in God's power to work through me and use me?
can someone please tell me the verses for lifting our hands..for women serving in church..if there even are any..
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
snow day!
today was..an experience. my first snow day. classes were cancelled cuz there were a huge snow storm. it was awful esp in the morning!!!! the wind was hurling and the snow was being whirled around like some mini tornado. the ground was completely covered in a snow blanket about 10 inches deep. couldn't even see the roads/pavements! couldn't see how deep the snow was too, which was pretty dangerous. cuz i would walk on happily (well not happily cuz snow was in my face every second) and then suddenly, plop! the snow would come up to my knees cuz there's a sudden slope or smth. horrible!!!
i lived every second in fear not knowing when i was gonna fall next. it was way beyond cold. it was freezing. and then levi decided to have a snowball fight. craziness! i got snow all over my coat. and my hands were numb for a few mins. and the cars! omg. so hilarious!!! they were up to their tyres covered in snow, and so when they tried to get outta the parking lot, it was impossible. we saw a car making progress though, gunning the engine, then reversing, then going forward again, and repeating the cycle a gazillion times. and he moved like 1cm in 5mins. hahaha. walking was much faster though more brutal.
anyway!~ besides all that..did i mention classes were cancelled???? happiness. today was my worst day sumore! sooo happy. my alarm rang at 9am, i groggily opened my eyes, and my roommate announced that all classes were cancelled for the day! we rejoiced. i tried to go back to sleep, but the excitement was gnawing away at me. so i went online for the first time in weeks. :) then i slacked around for the whole day. till spiritual renewal series #2. this guy frm sri lanka's preaching. he's pretty gd. then we braved the snow and wind and made it to the souphouse for chai! so nice n warm. this whole day makes me so wanna move to california. where the sun always shines! :)
plus. let's all pray together with me that classes are cancelled again tomorrow! so i can postpone my dreaded 1.5 mile run!
OH! and thank God!!! i took my first biblical literature exam ystdy, and got like 96%! isn't God amazing??? i nearly died memorizing all those dates (1450BC Israel's exodus from Egypt - Exodus, 930BC-586BC Divided Kingdom of Israel and Judah.. just to name a few). it was pretty painful. BUT..the Lord was with me! as always! and i did way past my expectations. God is so good. :)
i lived every second in fear not knowing when i was gonna fall next. it was way beyond cold. it was freezing. and then levi decided to have a snowball fight. craziness! i got snow all over my coat. and my hands were numb for a few mins. and the cars! omg. so hilarious!!! they were up to their tyres covered in snow, and so when they tried to get outta the parking lot, it was impossible. we saw a car making progress though, gunning the engine, then reversing, then going forward again, and repeating the cycle a gazillion times. and he moved like 1cm in 5mins. hahaha. walking was much faster though more brutal.
anyway!~ besides all that..did i mention classes were cancelled???? happiness. today was my worst day sumore! sooo happy. my alarm rang at 9am, i groggily opened my eyes, and my roommate announced that all classes were cancelled for the day! we rejoiced. i tried to go back to sleep, but the excitement was gnawing away at me. so i went online for the first time in weeks. :) then i slacked around for the whole day. till spiritual renewal series #2. this guy frm sri lanka's preaching. he's pretty gd. then we braved the snow and wind and made it to the souphouse for chai! so nice n warm. this whole day makes me so wanna move to california. where the sun always shines! :)
plus. let's all pray together with me that classes are cancelled again tomorrow! so i can postpone my dreaded 1.5 mile run!
OH! and thank God!!! i took my first biblical literature exam ystdy, and got like 96%! isn't God amazing??? i nearly died memorizing all those dates (1450BC Israel's exodus from Egypt - Exodus, 930BC-586BC Divided Kingdom of Israel and Judah.. just to name a few). it was pretty painful. BUT..the Lord was with me! as always! and i did way past my expectations. God is so good. :)
Monday, February 12, 2007
haircut!
i got a haircut! sort of. cut my fringe myself. haha. think i look kinda like a doll with all that straight fringe.
imagine me n you..so happie together!
that song is stuck in my head. arrrgghh. but i love it. haha.
finishing off the mailing list for the jamaica mission trip..took me hours to write a personal note, stuff the envelopes with stuff and address them..so if u get an envelope frm taylor university, dun be surprised! i put down lots of pple's names cuz they required like 75 addresses. ugh.
anw been working out this wk!!! almost everyday. so proud of myself can! haha. preparing to run 2.4km yet again. and here i was thinking that the horrors of napfa was over. well at least there's no pass/fail. i can just walk the whole way. just that it'll be embarrassing cuz i'll be last. heh.
ystdy had noodle partyy! yummy. there's a new guy who transferred to taylor. missionary kid frm thailand. he makes me laugh! haha. watched this horrible korean movie at the souphouse. think it's called the king and the clown..smth like that. so gross! about 2 gay guys. like the korean version of brokeback mountain, only not as visual probably. anw..the plot was pretty ok..if it were a guy and a girl, it'll be a really touching movie. but the mere fact that it was two guys made us..not sympathize with their tragic lives.
today went to visit a korean church with a couple of pple. it was ok..really traditional and conservative. plus the whole language barrier thing. the translator seemed unsure of how to translate so it got kinda boring. but we had free lunch. yummy korean food! :) haven't studied AT ALL. and i've got 2 papers and one test next wk. ughh.
biblical literature!!! so hard. must memorize all the dates and stuff frm the bible..
finishing off the mailing list for the jamaica mission trip..took me hours to write a personal note, stuff the envelopes with stuff and address them..so if u get an envelope frm taylor university, dun be surprised! i put down lots of pple's names cuz they required like 75 addresses. ugh.
anw been working out this wk!!! almost everyday. so proud of myself can! haha. preparing to run 2.4km yet again. and here i was thinking that the horrors of napfa was over. well at least there's no pass/fail. i can just walk the whole way. just that it'll be embarrassing cuz i'll be last. heh.
ystdy had noodle partyy! yummy. there's a new guy who transferred to taylor. missionary kid frm thailand. he makes me laugh! haha. watched this horrible korean movie at the souphouse. think it's called the king and the clown..smth like that. so gross! about 2 gay guys. like the korean version of brokeback mountain, only not as visual probably. anw..the plot was pretty ok..if it were a guy and a girl, it'll be a really touching movie. but the mere fact that it was two guys made us..not sympathize with their tragic lives.
today went to visit a korean church with a couple of pple. it was ok..really traditional and conservative. plus the whole language barrier thing. the translator seemed unsure of how to translate so it got kinda boring. but we had free lunch. yummy korean food! :) haven't studied AT ALL. and i've got 2 papers and one test next wk. ughh.
biblical literature!!! so hard. must memorize all the dates and stuff frm the bible..
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
:)
I LOVE YOU JESUS, DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART!~
today's a happie day! despite the freezing cold, despite the heavy snow, despite the bad DC food, despite a long day of classes..why? because it's another day i get to spend with the Lord. thank You Lord, for another wonderful day :)
i am SO loving my intro to christian ed class. today we had a thought provoking, wonderful discussion about discipleship. realizing that christians in america, and prob other parts of the world, concentrate more on converting than discipling. so i was telling the class about FCBC and our G12 system, and they were pretty interested. esp the prof cuz i'm the only one from another culture, so i got to share about alot of the differences in our churches. that was cool. glad i got to share that! so we talked about Jesus' disciples..and what makes a disciple..all that stuff. really interesting..looking forward to every tue and thur!! :) plus it's a small grp..only 12 of us. so it's a pretty gd discussion grp size.
anw. confirmed goin to jamaica..ystdy went for the meeting..met the team i'll be goin with. pretty cool pple. the leaders and really really nice and made me feel welcomed and at home and psyched up for the trip. thank God for them. cuz i was pretty worried not knowing anyone on the team..but..God as usual comes thru for me. thank You Lord for small blessings like these! :)
today's a happie day! despite the freezing cold, despite the heavy snow, despite the bad DC food, despite a long day of classes..why? because it's another day i get to spend with the Lord. thank You Lord, for another wonderful day :)
i am SO loving my intro to christian ed class. today we had a thought provoking, wonderful discussion about discipleship. realizing that christians in america, and prob other parts of the world, concentrate more on converting than discipling. so i was telling the class about FCBC and our G12 system, and they were pretty interested. esp the prof cuz i'm the only one from another culture, so i got to share about alot of the differences in our churches. that was cool. glad i got to share that! so we talked about Jesus' disciples..and what makes a disciple..all that stuff. really interesting..looking forward to every tue and thur!! :) plus it's a small grp..only 12 of us. so it's a pretty gd discussion grp size.
anw. confirmed goin to jamaica..ystdy went for the meeting..met the team i'll be goin with. pretty cool pple. the leaders and really really nice and made me feel welcomed and at home and psyched up for the trip. thank God for them. cuz i was pretty worried not knowing anyone on the team..but..God as usual comes thru for me. thank You Lord for small blessings like these! :)
Monday, February 05, 2007
i am a child of God!
SO. this weekend was really fun. fri went out. yes, OUT of campus! happiness. haha. to celebrate capri's bdae. went to an italian restaurant..then bowling! haven't been bowling in a longgg time so my game was pretty crappy. haha. but had lots of fun with ISS pple..especially the way some of them bowled. hilarious. haha. sat drove 2 hrs to indianapolis for the gospel fest at butler university. despite the fact that i made up 1/3 of the asian population there, i had a great time.
kirk franklin, this famous composer/producer was there, and he gave a sermon. it was..wow. everything he said totally touched my heart. really thank God for using him to speak to me. i went to the place feeling rather unsure about where to go..but i left it more certain. was thinking of not goin to jamaica for the mission trip, cuz my schedule this semester's pretty crazy. heavy workload. but..i think..with all the blessings God has given me, i should give back and give of my time and effort and serve Him. so.. it's gonna be a pretty hectic 3 mths. no time for social life. just study study study! haha. (as if)
anw. been pretty stressed out. it's only been 3 days of sch. but..seeing the syllabus..it's overwhelming. dunno how i'm gonna do all that work in one semester. especially intro to christian ed..SO much work but i really dun wanna drop it. been lookin forward to that class for a long time. but got SO much reading..assignments..plus have to go for their christian ed retreat..and have to do 8weeks of ministry on/off campus..all this takes up lots of time! plus my other classes are not easy AT ALL. the mission trip teams meet one night every wk. plus TCA prac once a wk. plus leadership class one night a wk. all my nights are gone! so.. just pray tt God will give me the strength to make it thru. i know He will.
today was the superbowl. it's this stupid thing americans call football. they're all crazy obsessed over it. ughhhh. so boring! some guy explained the rules to me ystdy..and i dun have any desire to watch it. haha. but..heard the indianapolis colts won..so yay! i guess everyone'll be in a good mood tmr :)
PLUS i managed to read the Tanakh till Leviticus! yay me! i'm gonna be hardworkin finally!
kirk franklin, this famous composer/producer was there, and he gave a sermon. it was..wow. everything he said totally touched my heart. really thank God for using him to speak to me. i went to the place feeling rather unsure about where to go..but i left it more certain. was thinking of not goin to jamaica for the mission trip, cuz my schedule this semester's pretty crazy. heavy workload. but..i think..with all the blessings God has given me, i should give back and give of my time and effort and serve Him. so.. it's gonna be a pretty hectic 3 mths. no time for social life. just study study study! haha. (as if)
anw. been pretty stressed out. it's only been 3 days of sch. but..seeing the syllabus..it's overwhelming. dunno how i'm gonna do all that work in one semester. especially intro to christian ed..SO much work but i really dun wanna drop it. been lookin forward to that class for a long time. but got SO much reading..assignments..plus have to go for their christian ed retreat..and have to do 8weeks of ministry on/off campus..all this takes up lots of time! plus my other classes are not easy AT ALL. the mission trip teams meet one night every wk. plus TCA prac once a wk. plus leadership class one night a wk. all my nights are gone! so.. just pray tt God will give me the strength to make it thru. i know He will.
today was the superbowl. it's this stupid thing americans call football. they're all crazy obsessed over it. ughhhh. so boring! some guy explained the rules to me ystdy..and i dun have any desire to watch it. haha. but..heard the indianapolis colts won..so yay! i guess everyone'll be in a good mood tmr :)
PLUS i managed to read the Tanakh till Leviticus! yay me! i'm gonna be hardworkin finally!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
start of spring sem
today was the first day of classes! pretty gd. only 2 classes. excited for this sem!!!! especially for biblical literature 1..gonna learn about the old testament! we're reading the Tanakh..the Jewish bible..which is our Old testament. lots to read and memorize! but excited. taking a computer class :(.. digital tools (so i can play around with photos and stuff!)..stupid PE..have to workout 3 times a wk and got a 1.5mile run on valentine's day :(..intro to christian educational ministries..a leadership class..and ethnic and minority issues. think i've got lots of readin to do this semester.
anw. NYC was AWESOME. went shopping! went to Times square..to Chinatown..ate yummy food..got lotsa stuff at cheap prices. best of all, spent time with my mummy and daddy! and they brought a suitcase full of food. hahahaha. enough to last me a lifetime. i've got 3 huge boxes overflowing with food in my room now. omg. gonna have a chinese new yr party. haha. they brought my electric guit too! happiness. can practice now. oh! one more class...guitar lessons! so i can finally improve and get outta my stagnant stage. yay!
so..i'm back at taylor and hardly unpacked yet and there's a conference tmr at calvin college..which is a few hrs away. sighhh. totally forgot i signed up for that. tiring! but pretty cool too. it's a conference about faith and development. smth like that. gonna miss classes! yay! :)
anw. NYC was AWESOME. went shopping! went to Times square..to Chinatown..ate yummy food..got lotsa stuff at cheap prices. best of all, spent time with my mummy and daddy! and they brought a suitcase full of food. hahahaha. enough to last me a lifetime. i've got 3 huge boxes overflowing with food in my room now. omg. gonna have a chinese new yr party. haha. they brought my electric guit too! happiness. can practice now. oh! one more class...guitar lessons! so i can finally improve and get outta my stagnant stage. yay!
so..i'm back at taylor and hardly unpacked yet and there's a conference tmr at calvin college..which is a few hrs away. sighhh. totally forgot i signed up for that. tiring! but pretty cool too. it's a conference about faith and development. smth like that. gonna miss classes! yay! :)
Friday, January 26, 2007
precious thoughts
Dear Lord,
Help me not to hold earthly possessions so tightly. Help me to surrender them to You. Help me to put You first in my life over everything and everyone that i hold dear. Because ultimately You never fail me, and people may come and go, things may fade away, but You are forever faithful and Your unconditional love always lifts me up.
Help me to find the right path in life so I won't feel like i'm constantly drifting around, not knowing which direction to take, feeling rather lost and alone. Take my hands and guide me towards the plans that You have for me. Plans to give me a hope and a future. Plans to bless me so i can bless others.
Amen :)
Excited about going to New York CITY today!!! gonna see my parents!!!! :) :) :)
Help me not to hold earthly possessions so tightly. Help me to surrender them to You. Help me to put You first in my life over everything and everyone that i hold dear. Because ultimately You never fail me, and people may come and go, things may fade away, but You are forever faithful and Your unconditional love always lifts me up.
Help me to find the right path in life so I won't feel like i'm constantly drifting around, not knowing which direction to take, feeling rather lost and alone. Take my hands and guide me towards the plans that You have for me. Plans to give me a hope and a future. Plans to bless me so i can bless others.
Amen :)
Excited about going to New York CITY today!!! gonna see my parents!!!! :) :) :)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
sigh
i wanna thank God for my home. thank God that i have a place i can call home, in s'pore. with family and friends all around me. i've never known how it feels to have to keep moving from country to country. but i guess that's what missionaries have to deal with. must be tough growing up and having to constantly adapt to new environments and people. really admire them.
sometimes i wish i were stronger. would wanna try bringing the gospel to people in other nations who aren't as privileged and blessed as i've been. so.. can't wait for my missions trip to JAMAICA!!! excited. it's on mar 31st!!! 2 more months! pretty scared though. never been on one before. plus i don't know anyone from the team! but.. God has brought me to it, He will bring me through it :)
sometimes i wish i were stronger. would wanna try bringing the gospel to people in other nations who aren't as privileged and blessed as i've been. so.. can't wait for my missions trip to JAMAICA!!! excited. it's on mar 31st!!! 2 more months! pretty scared though. never been on one before. plus i don't know anyone from the team! but.. God has brought me to it, He will bring me through it :)
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
depression
that's what we learnt about in psych class today. it's been really interesting lately, learning about all the disorders and symptoms, and who's more likely to get them. i think i'm pretty safe, being that i had a good childhood and a stable and loving family environment. haha. anw, today he got kinda serious when we got to the topic of suicide. he was like, i want u all to hear this from me - if u ever have a suicidal friend, u should talk to that person and not leave him/her alone. find out if the person has a suicidal plan, how fatal is that plan, and if he/she is bent on carrying it out. whoaa. pretty serious stuff there.
some people shared their stories of friends who committed suicide. one girl was like, she had a friend who killed herself by carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage, and when she was halfway dead, she called her coach in school and told him she won't be there for practice. then the coach got worried and thought she was drunk, but she was actually dying already. and he didn't manage to save her.
also another story.. this guy's best friend called him on his cell and told him he was gonna kill himself. he rushed over to his house, and got there in time to see his best friend shoot himself. and he was just 30 feet too far away to prevent it from happening. so he saw his friend die right before his eyes.
all this just made me think of how precious life is, and u never know when it's gonna end or when you're gonna lose someone. also made me realize how pointless life must be for people who don't know God. I'm thankful i have God in my life. I wish everyone could come to see God's unconditional love and stop feeling like there's nothing to live for.
Gonna treasure every day and everyone in my life! :)
some people shared their stories of friends who committed suicide. one girl was like, she had a friend who killed herself by carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage, and when she was halfway dead, she called her coach in school and told him she won't be there for practice. then the coach got worried and thought she was drunk, but she was actually dying already. and he didn't manage to save her.
also another story.. this guy's best friend called him on his cell and told him he was gonna kill himself. he rushed over to his house, and got there in time to see his best friend shoot himself. and he was just 30 feet too far away to prevent it from happening. so he saw his friend die right before his eyes.
all this just made me think of how precious life is, and u never know when it's gonna end or when you're gonna lose someone. also made me realize how pointless life must be for people who don't know God. I'm thankful i have God in my life. I wish everyone could come to see God's unconditional love and stop feeling like there's nothing to live for.
Gonna treasure every day and everyone in my life! :)
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
SNOW CAMP pics!!
me n julie..pulling faces :)
taylor girls..at the half frozen lake!
me n cartoon..beside a snowy tree
me n naoko! crazy asian tourists :)
Monday, January 22, 2007
SNOW camp :)
back from snow camp!! it was..one word: WONDERFUL. organized by mukappa..so all the missinary kids from wheaton, cedarville, huntington, moody went. all christian schs arnd the area. we stayed in this really quaint camping site..with cabins and all. but the best part was i got to know new pple from other schs!! plus tons of hot guys. got me wondering..why all the hot guys don't come to taylor??? anw..it was really fun. played lotsa games..like mafia. in which i was the mafia. so hard!! had to lie to others to their face, and i was terrible at it. just wanted to laugh to badly. haha. but at least i lasted the longest out of all the other mafia. went sliding at their giant slide..haha..except it didn't snow till today. but at least it snowed today :)
had a few sessions, where this missinary - dwight peterson - spoke. he was really good. one thing he said that sorta struck me was that sin isn't a sudden thing. it's a continuous process building up..like maybe u didn't commit this particular sin today, but u moved one step closer to committing it one year later. so u might think it's a victory today, but satan rejoices cuz it'll be his bigger victory one yr later. smth like that. i nv thought abt it this way. and also he talked abt taking away the things in ur life that hinders u from growing closer to God..and the importance of establishing intimate relationships with pple arnd u so they'll keep u accountable. and i really really want that..but..still haven't felt like i can really open up - and i mean open up - to anyone here. i guess it's a step-by-step process. little by little. trying.
and we has this one particular session which was really awesome. in one hour, i got to know 2 other pple much better than i've known some pple for yrs. the pastor got us talking about ourselves..then our current struggles..and our prayer needs in groups. and everyone was SO incredibly open. it was beautiful how we all shared our hearts with complete strangers.
and i've come to realize that all of my life i've been in public schools where i'm surrounded by pple who don't believe in God, and so i know what i'm put there to do - to be an example to my frens..and try to bring them to Christ. but since i've come to taylor, i've been asking God what He wants me to do here, cuz everyone's a christian (supposedly), and there's no one to evangelize. but i realize i'm in a different journey of my life..where i'm put here to encourage my fellow believers and grow as a community of Christ.
we had this skit night where we split into our different continents..north/south/central america, africa, europe, asia - the island non island countries. heh. so i was in a grp with missinary kids from indonesia, philippines, japan.. was really cool to be arnd pple who understand cultures similar to mine.
anw the tagline from our skit was..
'if u think snakes on a plane was bad... this is ASIANS on a plane'
hahaha. was pretty funny. we did stereotypical asians. me and this japanese girl were the asian tourists..excited abt everything..taking pictures of everything..screaming over cute guys..posing in the typical asian pose. haha. was fun :) we all terrorized the poor, unsuspecting american.
the african one was the funniest!!!! they also did a plane scene..where this african guy tried to buy an american woman for his wife..and there were pple ripping off the americans..and monkeys n chaos on the plane. haha.
yupyup..good times. really tired though. but super glad i went. made so many new frens..and the Lord really spoke to me. so..thankful for that :)
had a few sessions, where this missinary - dwight peterson - spoke. he was really good. one thing he said that sorta struck me was that sin isn't a sudden thing. it's a continuous process building up..like maybe u didn't commit this particular sin today, but u moved one step closer to committing it one year later. so u might think it's a victory today, but satan rejoices cuz it'll be his bigger victory one yr later. smth like that. i nv thought abt it this way. and also he talked abt taking away the things in ur life that hinders u from growing closer to God..and the importance of establishing intimate relationships with pple arnd u so they'll keep u accountable. and i really really want that..but..still haven't felt like i can really open up - and i mean open up - to anyone here. i guess it's a step-by-step process. little by little. trying.
and we has this one particular session which was really awesome. in one hour, i got to know 2 other pple much better than i've known some pple for yrs. the pastor got us talking about ourselves..then our current struggles..and our prayer needs in groups. and everyone was SO incredibly open. it was beautiful how we all shared our hearts with complete strangers.
and i've come to realize that all of my life i've been in public schools where i'm surrounded by pple who don't believe in God, and so i know what i'm put there to do - to be an example to my frens..and try to bring them to Christ. but since i've come to taylor, i've been asking God what He wants me to do here, cuz everyone's a christian (supposedly), and there's no one to evangelize. but i realize i'm in a different journey of my life..where i'm put here to encourage my fellow believers and grow as a community of Christ.
we had this skit night where we split into our different continents..north/south/central america, africa, europe, asia - the island non island countries. heh. so i was in a grp with missinary kids from indonesia, philippines, japan.. was really cool to be arnd pple who understand cultures similar to mine.
anw the tagline from our skit was..
'if u think snakes on a plane was bad... this is ASIANS on a plane'
hahaha. was pretty funny. we did stereotypical asians. me and this japanese girl were the asian tourists..excited abt everything..taking pictures of everything..screaming over cute guys..posing in the typical asian pose. haha. was fun :) we all terrorized the poor, unsuspecting american.
the african one was the funniest!!!! they also did a plane scene..where this african guy tried to buy an american woman for his wife..and there were pple ripping off the americans..and monkeys n chaos on the plane. haha.
yupyup..good times. really tired though. but super glad i went. made so many new frens..and the Lord really spoke to me. so..thankful for that :)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Happy birthday suanggita!!!
To anyone who's reading this and knows Suang, tell her to go to this link! her present's there.
and it's not late!! today's still friday in indiana :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCuX7PqwIZc
if it doesn't work, just go search 'happy birthday, suang!' on youtube. yayy! :)
and it's not late!! today's still friday in indiana :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCuX7PqwIZc
if it doesn't work, just go search 'happy birthday, suang!' on youtube. yayy! :)
Thursday, January 18, 2007
if only..
IF ONLY i loved running and all that stuff (which, if u know me, i don't)..i'd totally join the army! seriously. it's like my dream. isn't it so cool??? to be one of the few tough girls able to fire a rifle n stuff.. but now i can't even be bothered to walk to the DC for meals sometimes, so..think this dream oughta be abandoned.
IF ONLY i could cook...i'd be a pro chef. but i can't cook even if my life depended on it.. which is really saddening. cuz i've been watching the next food network star, and it's amazing how they can whip up all these yummilicious dishes! being a pro chef would be awesome..creating all these artistic, beautiful dishes..so much fun!
IF ONLY i could do stats. hahaha. i'd be a psychologist. the stuff we're learning in class now is actually really interesting! learnt so much about memory, how genes affect our personality, etc. plus our professor does outside counselling, so he meets all these fascinating pple with fascinating problems..and he gets to help them, which is really cool.
IF ONLY i were more disciplined in practising my music so i'll improve..maybe i can actually be a professional musician. which is really tough cuz there are so many other musicians out there better than me and still not discovered. aahhh..imagine the lights, sounds, pple out in front of u..singing the songs YOU wrote. nothing could be more amazing than that. except maybe pple singing the songs u wrote FOR God. that would be the best thing i could ever do with my life.
IF ONLY i could cook...i'd be a pro chef. but i can't cook even if my life depended on it.. which is really saddening. cuz i've been watching the next food network star, and it's amazing how they can whip up all these yummilicious dishes! being a pro chef would be awesome..creating all these artistic, beautiful dishes..so much fun!
IF ONLY i could do stats. hahaha. i'd be a psychologist. the stuff we're learning in class now is actually really interesting! learnt so much about memory, how genes affect our personality, etc. plus our professor does outside counselling, so he meets all these fascinating pple with fascinating problems..and he gets to help them, which is really cool.
IF ONLY i were more disciplined in practising my music so i'll improve..maybe i can actually be a professional musician. which is really tough cuz there are so many other musicians out there better than me and still not discovered. aahhh..imagine the lights, sounds, pple out in front of u..singing the songs YOU wrote. nothing could be more amazing than that. except maybe pple singing the songs u wrote FOR God. that would be the best thing i could ever do with my life.
Monday, January 15, 2007
tons of fun~
that's what today was...fun! :) woke up early to go to upland community church. went for their contemporary service, which.. wasn't very contemporary. haha. kinda slow. but really short. way less than 2 hrs. walked there n back in the pouring rain with some girls frm my dorm. sermon was about 'when God prompts u, just DO it!' was pretty gd :)
lunch was exactly the same as every sunday. potatoes, pasta, bread. ughhh. went for gospel choir prac again! our last before the actual thing tmr. pretty excited!!! was fun! the pastor from some church came and hyped us up. his voice was...one word:power!!! and he himself overpowered all 30+ of us. sang lots of gospel songs..got to move and dance like a gospel choir. i love how unpredictable gospel is..like whatever the pastor feels like doing, he just leads us into it and we spontaneously follow.
this song rocks
~take the shackles off my feet so i can praise You
i just wanna praise You, i just wanna praise You
You broke the chains now i can lift my hands
and i'm gonna praise You, i'm gonna praise You~
at night went for berto ramon's concert at the union. was simply AWESOME! haha. they're frm chicago, but never heard of them before, so wasn't really excited. but once they started playing and got everyone to stand in front of the stage, the atmosphere was hyped up!! pple were dancing n getting all excited..their style was pretty cool. hiphop-reggae-funk. bought their cd!! haha. had such a great time dancing! like, heck with the LTC and the rule about no dancing. u can't NOT move when there's music this great! felt like it was clubbing minus the smoke and dim lights. yup, it was pretty much awesome. we should do this everyday. :)
lunch was exactly the same as every sunday. potatoes, pasta, bread. ughhh. went for gospel choir prac again! our last before the actual thing tmr. pretty excited!!! was fun! the pastor from some church came and hyped us up. his voice was...one word:power!!! and he himself overpowered all 30+ of us. sang lots of gospel songs..got to move and dance like a gospel choir. i love how unpredictable gospel is..like whatever the pastor feels like doing, he just leads us into it and we spontaneously follow.
this song rocks
~take the shackles off my feet so i can praise You
i just wanna praise You, i just wanna praise You
You broke the chains now i can lift my hands
and i'm gonna praise You, i'm gonna praise You~
at night went for berto ramon's concert at the union. was simply AWESOME! haha. they're frm chicago, but never heard of them before, so wasn't really excited. but once they started playing and got everyone to stand in front of the stage, the atmosphere was hyped up!! pple were dancing n getting all excited..their style was pretty cool. hiphop-reggae-funk. bought their cd!! haha. had such a great time dancing! like, heck with the LTC and the rule about no dancing. u can't NOT move when there's music this great! felt like it was clubbing minus the smoke and dim lights. yup, it was pretty much awesome. we should do this everyday. :)
Sunday, January 14, 2007
footprints
can't believe the weekend's almost over! way too fast. fri was soup night at the daudts'. lotsa pple came..new faces too. had a gd time..eating gd food..playing games..watching infernal affairs 2. haha. only it was in cantonese with eng subtitles and no one understood it but me. so i spent the whole time explaining the plot instead of appreciating edison chen's hotness. haha.
had tom yum party at gerig aft that! soup digests quickly. got hungry again. :) had a really gd deep conversation with cartoon,sung ah and emily..talked about all kinds of random stuff for like 2hrs. told them about our church and how we speak in tongues and get slain and everything..they were pretty surprised. like never heard about this kinda stuff before. only seen on tv. which was really weird. plus some of them have been praying really hard to receive the gift of tongues, but still haven't. which is weird too cuz like in church lotsa pple receive it pretty quickly. and then they practise it. anw..was a gd talk. getting to know each other better. slept over in cartoon's room on the floor and got an aching shoulder this morn :(
slacked arnd today..did my 2wks worth of laundry. finally. was running out of stuff to wear. heh. went for gospel choir rehearsal again! pretty fun. absolutely LOVE our new song! it's called shackles. mary mary sang it before. it's a pretty old song. but it's so gospel!!! we get to move to the groove..haha.really cool. can't wait for monday!!! went to jason's room..watched the village. ew. they forced me to watch it cuz i'm so NOT a horror movie person!!!! grrr. but it wasn't that scary. had its moments, but..not the supernatural kind of scary which freaks me out. pretty stupid ending too. midnight trip to starbucks after that with a couple of pple. had another gd talk. haha. about cute israeli guys. sung ah's going to jordan for the summer!!! cuz her parents are missionaries there. how cool is that!!!! get to travel arnd the middle east!!
had tom yum party at gerig aft that! soup digests quickly. got hungry again. :) had a really gd deep conversation with cartoon,sung ah and emily..talked about all kinds of random stuff for like 2hrs. told them about our church and how we speak in tongues and get slain and everything..they were pretty surprised. like never heard about this kinda stuff before. only seen on tv. which was really weird. plus some of them have been praying really hard to receive the gift of tongues, but still haven't. which is weird too cuz like in church lotsa pple receive it pretty quickly. and then they practise it. anw..was a gd talk. getting to know each other better. slept over in cartoon's room on the floor and got an aching shoulder this morn :(
slacked arnd today..did my 2wks worth of laundry. finally. was running out of stuff to wear. heh. went for gospel choir rehearsal again! pretty fun. absolutely LOVE our new song! it's called shackles. mary mary sang it before. it's a pretty old song. but it's so gospel!!! we get to move to the groove..haha.really cool. can't wait for monday!!! went to jason's room..watched the village. ew. they forced me to watch it cuz i'm so NOT a horror movie person!!!! grrr. but it wasn't that scary. had its moments, but..not the supernatural kind of scary which freaks me out. pretty stupid ending too. midnight trip to starbucks after that with a couple of pple. had another gd talk. haha. about cute israeli guys. sung ah's going to jordan for the summer!!! cuz her parents are missionaries there. how cool is that!!!! get to travel arnd the middle east!!
Friday, January 12, 2007
the fray concert!
lead singer of the opening act. some unknown band with unique instruments like some distorted electric guitar thingy. he had some majorly cool moves. like this one.
me and sung ah all excited :)
the fray! with cool lighting. we had awesome 5th row tix thanks to my fren who knew the fray! they went to her church :)
fuzzi wuzzie
slack :)
that describes today. woke up at 1.30pm!! SUCH a gd rest. went for The Fray concert in the evening at purdue university..2hrs drive away from here. it was a pretty cool uni. huge! and their music hall (where the concert was held) was awesomely majestic! amazing. the concert was pretty good. they're great live. but not so much the energy from the crowd. everyone was pretty dead. dunno why!
anw the looonng drive there and back made me think. why on earth did God put me in taylor university??? it's such a ulu place. surrounded by ulu-ness. i always thought the college experience would be the best years of my life - having fun n doing crazy stuff n all, but...here i am in the middle of nowhere with cornfields. not that it isn't fun here. it is! and i've met so many great pple.
but it's just..different from what i expected. wondering if i should transfer...i don't know...not as if my parents would let me anyway. but we really do live in the 'taylor bubble' despite arguments to the contrary. we're just stuck in this little world all by our own, so sheltered and protected from the 'real world'. then what happens when we do finally go out into the world to work..won't we be shocked by all the stuff that's goin on because we're too used to being surrounded by christians and good pple? feel like i need to go out into the world and experience stuff!! but at the same time..the world's pretty scary and part of me likes being protected here. plus there are all these wonderful ministry opportunities here that would be hard to obtain elsewhere.
so..i realize i'm probably being selfish. wanting to have fun and do what i want instead of obeying God's call for me to be here at taylor and do what He wants. sigh. it's just hard i guess. still not really used to living in surburbia america. so much more boring than s'pore could ever be.
that describes today. woke up at 1.30pm!! SUCH a gd rest. went for The Fray concert in the evening at purdue university..2hrs drive away from here. it was a pretty cool uni. huge! and their music hall (where the concert was held) was awesomely majestic! amazing. the concert was pretty good. they're great live. but not so much the energy from the crowd. everyone was pretty dead. dunno why!
anw the looonng drive there and back made me think. why on earth did God put me in taylor university??? it's such a ulu place. surrounded by ulu-ness. i always thought the college experience would be the best years of my life - having fun n doing crazy stuff n all, but...here i am in the middle of nowhere with cornfields. not that it isn't fun here. it is! and i've met so many great pple.
but it's just..different from what i expected. wondering if i should transfer...i don't know...not as if my parents would let me anyway. but we really do live in the 'taylor bubble' despite arguments to the contrary. we're just stuck in this little world all by our own, so sheltered and protected from the 'real world'. then what happens when we do finally go out into the world to work..won't we be shocked by all the stuff that's goin on because we're too used to being surrounded by christians and good pple? feel like i need to go out into the world and experience stuff!! but at the same time..the world's pretty scary and part of me likes being protected here. plus there are all these wonderful ministry opportunities here that would be hard to obtain elsewhere.
so..i realize i'm probably being selfish. wanting to have fun and do what i want instead of obeying God's call for me to be here at taylor and do what He wants. sigh. it's just hard i guess. still not really used to living in surburbia america. so much more boring than s'pore could ever be.
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